Prepare for the Cephalopocalypse with a Cthulhu Biohazard T-shirt
Ranked #3,296 in Entertainment, #89,836 overall
"What is the Cephalopocalypse?"
The Cephalopocalypse is the inevitable destruction of our world by our new Squid Overlords, overseen by the Great Old One Cthulhu. Creatures beyond the ken of
mortal men, they will crack your sanity, destroy your world, and savor your delicious entrails. Great Cthulhu and his minions may, however, leave a few humans alive so that they may continue to enjoy the parts of their world that have already infiltrated our own, like "Starbucks" and "Wal*Mart."
mortal men, they will crack your sanity, destroy your world, and savor your delicious entrails. Great Cthulhu and his minions may, however, leave a few humans alive so that they may continue to enjoy the parts of their world that have already infiltrated our own, like "Starbucks" and "Wal*Mart."
"Why should I wear a Cthulhu Biohazard t-shirt?"
First of all, it shows your fellow believers that you share the ancient, secret knowledge that our world will be taken from us by tentacled horrors from beyond the stars.
Second, it subconsciously embeds the idea that all cephalopods are dangerous to humanity in the minds of others.
Third, when Great Cthulhu and the Old Ones come, you can point at your shirt and say
"See? I was rooting for you guys all along!"
Second, it subconsciously embeds the idea that all cephalopods are dangerous to humanity in the minds of others.
Third, when Great Cthulhu and the Old Ones come, you can point at your shirt and say
"See? I was rooting for you guys all along!"
"What exactly does a Cephalopod Apocalypse taste like?"
The Cephalopocalypse will taste like calamari, blood, and a hearty dose of human suffering.
Oddly enough, human suffering tastes like fresh coreander.
Oddly enough, human suffering tastes like fresh coreander.
"How can I show my allegiance to our radioactive overlords?"
You must sacrifice a virgin on the first full moon of the month, using a dagger carved from one of Dagon's fangs. Let her blood flow into the ocean just as the tide begins to fall.
Or, if you're fresh out of virgins (and they're hard to come by these days!) you can show your undying love for your Squid Rulers by wearing one of these shirts from martinwhitmore.com.
Or, if you're fresh out of virgins (and they're hard to come by these days!) you can show your undying love for your Squid Rulers by wearing one of these shirts from martinwhitmore.com.
"Where can I read up on the Cephalopocalypse?"
The library at Miskatonic University in Arkham is rumored to have one of the only
extant copies of the Necronomicon in its vaults. They won't loan it out to just anyone, though. So unless you're an Ivy-league educated archaeologist, you may have better luck reading the rantings of one of the Old Ones' newest prophets at www.martinwhitmore.com. What, did you think it's a coincidence that he's the same guy who's making the t-shirts? He knows his stuff. Some of it is written in code, though. It may look like a hastily written blog, but buried under layers of obscure references to pornography and cartoons lies a horrible treatise on mankind's horrible fate.
extant copies of the Necronomicon in its vaults. They won't loan it out to just anyone, though. So unless you're an Ivy-league educated archaeologist, you may have better luck reading the rantings of one of the Old Ones' newest prophets at www.martinwhitmore.com. What, did you think it's a coincidence that he's the same guy who's making the t-shirts? He knows his stuff. Some of it is written in code, though. It may look like a hastily written blog, but buried under layers of obscure references to pornography and cartoons lies a horrible treatise on mankind's horrible fate.
The Madcap Blog of Martin Whitmore
Fetching RSS feed... please stand byMartin Whitmore's Meat Market
More Wickedness from the Meat Market
Fetching RSS feed... please stand byHurry; you'll want to be wearing this.
You can show your squiddish support by visiting the Meat Market at martinwhitmore.com and ordering your very own Cthulhu biohazard Cephalopocalypse t-shirt.See? You were rooting for them all along.
by worldmegan
Greatly a-fear'd that one lens means an inevitable many, the Megan (who is intensely interested in many subjects) has embarked upon a marvelous journe... (more)
Explore related pages
H.P. Lovecraft- H.P. Lovecraft created one of the scariest and most amazing horror mythology wit...
Lovecraft's Necronomicon
- That is not dead which can eternal lie, And with strange aeons even death may di...
THE WONDERFUL WORLD OF SQUID- Far under the sea, live strange and intriguing creatures, called squid. They are...
I Love Cephalopods- I'm fascinated by all sea creatures but in particular cephalopods give me endles...
Let's Get Kraken!- Probably one of the most popular perilous subjects of nautical lore, the kraken...
Squidpunk - Literature of the Cephalopod- Come celebrate the literature of the cephalopod! Short stories and poetry about...
