Chaos! Panic! Pandemonium! - A T-Shirt For Those Of You Who Secretly Or Not So Secretly Wish They Could Trash Everything Around Them
New Table of Contents
The City In Ruins
My first concept was to have an Agent of Disaster standing in front of a ruined streetscape commenting on the destruction he --or she-- had wrought. The streetscape at least was easy enough.
It started with a ground line...

...some buildings.

...a car smashed into a light pole.

...a busted fire hydrant gushing water.

...a damaged plane plunging earthward.

...terrified people running in every direction.

...flames and smoke shooting out the windows of the buildings.

...and finally a firey sky shading from orange to yellow.

Agent Of Disaster
Creating a figure to pose as the Agent of Disaster was more difficult. Originally I'd had a vague image of an insufferably cute, flirty, but sexless child. Something in a "Disney meets Anime" kind of mold. But alas, as always the problem was I couldn't draw it. Oh I attempted some sketches of large wet eyes set in large round heads, and searched the Internet for images like those below that might inspire decisions about the exact combination of facial features needed to bring it off, but the whole package just wouldn't come together for me.




After several unproductive days I decided I was making things too complicated for myself. It was more important to get the design into circulation than to make sure it was somehow iconic and archetypal enough. At bottom what I wanted was an incongruous juxtaposition. The widely known --and better yet, public domain-- big yellow smiley face would carry that freight just fine. Besides which, there was no reason I couldn't go on tinkering with the cute/flirty/sexless concept as inspiration allowed.

The standard yellow smiley face had its origins in the 1960s. The one popularized in the 1970s looked like this:

There are now endless variations. Mine has a couple basic changes:
- Slightly offset eyes, with a tinge of maroon around the edges.
- A lopsided mouth without dimples, open to speak.
- A shadow around the perimeter of the yellow circle to give an illusion of depth, completing the image.
Chaos and More Chaos Still
And that was that.
After applying the slogan, my final design looked like this:

For about a month.
Then I started to rethink my approach. It seems a helluva lot of people are perfectly satisfied to wear a shirt with only text on it. I wouldn't be in this game if all I had to do was pick a font and type some funny slogan or other on a piece of cloth, but at the same time simplicity does have its virtues. Some might look at the design above and conclude it's too crowded and busy.
So I resolved that the text itself would become a design element. Chaos. Panic. Pandemonium. The words themselves could be made to look like the thing they described, right? It was time to dive into my 4,000 Fonts disk and look for likely candidates.
I settled on these:

Which became this after some adjustments:

The rest was easy enough: Put my smiley in the middle, and make all the words curve around it.
Here was the end result:

One Last Accident
There was one other experiment I wanted to try before wrapping up: a female version. Granted, this cut against my original cute/flirty/sexless concept, but since that concept is on indefinite hiatus there is no reason not to explore alternatives.
I changed a few things around to make this smiley...

And put a flower font underneath her...

Which turned out to be unreadable when reduced to thumbnail size.
So I went with this:

I'm not entirely satisfied with it, but all three are available at my store, which is:
Minor Disasters in Our Near Vicinity
A lens describing the sequence of accidents, blunders, crises, disasters, failures, goof-ups, hassles, imbroglios, jumbles, kerfuffles, mistakes, pratfalls, reversals, and snafus that led to the establishment of Illustrated Aphorisms, my store at CafePress.
Sharp Tongue, Dull MindA t-shirt design to diss ranting idjits.
We Are All AfricansRace, human evolution, and another t-shirt design.
Bury Me Face DownA t-shirt design about presenting your best "face" to the world after you're dead.
Money Talks!A t-shirt design commenting on the tragedy of personal wealth.
The Temeraire SeriesA book series about the exploits of a dragon and his human during the Napoleonic wars, and my observations thereof.
Shards and Fragments Of Other Illustrated Aphorisms
Disasters You Can Cause Yourself
The Anarchist Cookbook
I have recently been made aware of several websites that focus on The Anarchist Cookbook. As the author of the original publication some 30 plus years ago, it is appropriate for me to comment.
The Anarchist Cookbook was written during 1968 and part of 1969 soon after I graduated from high school. At the time, I was 19 years old and the Vietnam War and the so-called "counter culture movement" were at their height. I was involved in the anti-war movement and attended numerous peace rallies and demonstrations. The book, in many respects, was a misguided product of my adolescent anger at the prospect of being drafted and sent to Vietnam to fight in a war that I did not believe in.
Unfortunately, the book continues to be in print and with the advent of the Internet several websites dealing with it have emerged. I want to state categorically that I am not in agreement with the contents of The Anarchist Cookbook [anymore] and I would be very pleased (and relieved) to see its publication discontinued. I consider it to be a misguided and potentially dangerous publication which should be taken out of print.
The Prankster's Ultimate Handbook: The World's Most Infamous, Illustrated, Hardcore Guide to Fiendishly Clever Practical Jokery & Much, Much More!!
This book teaches insane antics such as: The Seat of Agony, Sizzling Underpants, The Pool Of Swill, Goopy Shampoo, The Offensive Car Door Handle and Problem Toilet Paper. You will master-fart ventriloquism, mortify your mate with foul noises in the night and learn how to make someone's car emit a stench more powerful than an open septic tank!! But there is much , much more! * Over 150 proven and unusual gags * 40 proven methods of aggravation * New ways to use joke shop items * Tricks to play on drunken fools * Diabolical illustrations & diagrams You will be a master of mischief after reading eleven chapters of this totally sinister handbook! From simple stunts to convoluted capers, this book has all you need to be well on your way as a die hard hooligan!!
Don't Get Mad, Get Even
I grabbed a copy of this book acoupla' years ago, and I've loved it ever since. Not so much used for actual revenge, this book has been more a resource for my (sometimes bizarre) art projects, 'cuz it contains a wealth of useful info. I will admit that it DOES make good fodder for revenge fantasies, however. Its almost as much fun fantasizing about how this book could be used to do evil to those that 'done one wrong' as it is fantasizing about what you'd do w/the money when you've bought a lottery ticket.
Anyhoo...I'd highly reccomend picking up a copy of this lil' jewel of a tome- -if the only thing you use it for is revenge/revenge fantasies, you'd still get more than your investment outta' it. --customer review
Poltergeist
Tobe Hooper, the director of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, teamed up with family-oriented producer Steven Spielberg to make Poltergeist. The film is about a haunted suburban tract home in a development very much like the Arizona one in which Spielberg was raised. (Because it came out the same summer as Spielberg's E.T., it was tempting to see both movies as representing Spielberg's ambivalent feelings about childhood in suburbia. One was a fantasy, the other a nightmare.) Spielberg also cowrote the screenplay, which taps into primal, childlike fears of monsters under the bed, monsters in the closet, sinister clown faces, and all manner of things that go bump in the night. At first, some of the odd happenings in the house are kind of funny and amusing, but they grow gradually creepier until the film climaxes in a terrifying special-effects extravaganza when 5-year-old Carole Anne (Heather O'Rourke) is kidnapped by the spooks and held hostage in another dimension. Though not nearly as frightening as Hooper's magnum opus, or the original A Nightmare on Elm Street, which came along two years later, Poltergeist is one of the smartest and most entertaining horror pictures of its time. --Jim Emerson
New Guestbook
-
Reply
- JustBon-Crochet-Designs JustBon-Crochet-Designs Feb 3, 2009 @ 9:47 pm
- Nice design(s)! Great stuff.
-
Reply
- webnh webnh Dec 15, 2008 @ 9:32 am
- good stuff and nice work..5*
-
Reply
- tdove tdove Oct 3, 2008 @ 10:09 pm
- More great T-shirts. I like how you show us how you created them. Thanks for visiting my survey lens.
Squid Directory
SquiDirectory - A categorized Squidoo directory featuring an interesting variety of different subjects ranging from arts and literature, shopping, and eco friendly tips, to vehicles for sale, travel, and everything in between.











