Chasing Butterflies: My Favorite Memory of My Grandmother

My grandmother and I always had a good relationship, but we lived too far apart to see each other on a regular basis. She lived in Brooklyn, NY with my grandfather, and I lived with my parents and sister down in South Carolina. Despite the distance, she would always make it a point to come down to visit us once or twice a year to see how we were doing. I can always remember how sad it would be when we had to take her back to the airport, even though I knew that I would see her again.

One time we drove up to New York to spend some time at her house. At the end of our trip, my mother had finished loading up the car and she says I just refused to get in. She was used to seeing me cry whenever I had to say goodbye, but for some reason this time was different. She decided that I could stay up in New York for a couple more weeks with my grandparents. The whole experience was priceless. I got the chance to see all of the major attractions like the Statue of Liberty, the Twin Towers, and the Empire State Building.

Finally it was time for me to go back home. I can still clearly remember my grandmother walking me onto the airplane and telling the elderly gentleman sitting next to me to watch out for her grandson. Little did I know we would not have to fly to see each other for much longer...

Time passed and I eventually made it to high school. My grandmother also eventually made it down to South Carolina. She had reached retirement and made the decision to move down South so she could be closer to all of us. Although my grandfather was unable to shake his New York state of mind, my grandmother was right at home planting vegetables in her back yard and sewing in her spare room. It was like a match made in heaven.

When I hit 10th grade, I ended up in biology and that's when I got the assignment that changed it all...the bug collection. As if biology was not hard enough, we also had to collect 50 unique insects, and pin and mount them in our own display cases. Anything short of 50 would result in a failing grade.

The first 20-25 bugs were no problem, but after that we started to have some issues. Bees and ants are everywhere, but do you know just how hard it is to find 50 distinctly different insects on a timetable? My father told me that I needed a change of scenery if I was ever going to find a different set of bugs. Eventually we decided I should try going over to my grandmother's house to see what was lurking in her yard.

I spoke with my grandmother over the phone, and she was overjoyed that I would be coming over to see her. She thought the project was interesting, but also very humorous. Now that I look back on it, I imagine it had to be pretty funny to see her teenage grandson running around her backyard trying to catch every bug in sight.

The original plan was to just stop by for a day or two, catch my bugs and then go on from there. However, with each day that passed it become more of a ritual. I would come home from school, grab my net and head over to my grandmother's. I would run around the backyard for a while, usually not catching anything, and then eat dinner with her before heading back home. After a while it did not even matter that I had not caught a single butterfly the whole Spring. We would talk about everything. I gained so much more insight into the woman I already loved. I felt like our relationship went to a whole new level thanks to this project.

In any case, it was finally time to hand in my collection. Due to a few trades (think baseball cards), I was able to get to the 50 bug goal and turn my project in on time. I will never forget getting my final grade (B+) and telling my grandmother how I did. As happy as we were that I was able to complete the assignment, I think that deep down we were both sad to see it end.

I guess that is when the truly special part of our relationship came through. I continued going over to her house after school even though I no longer had to catch bugs. We continued to share stories about what was going on in our lives. Our friendship and bond as grandmother and grandson grew even stronger than it had ever been before.

Years went by. I graduated from high school. I graduated from college. I grew older, and my grandmother did the same.

Just after I graduated from college, she told me that she had breast cancer and was just happy that she had lived long enough to see me get my degree. Of course I downplayed it, and told her that she would still be around to see much more than that. I guess she really knew what she was talking about though. Not even a year later, she lost her battle and passed away.

I'll never forget sitting next to her in her hospital room during her last days. During one moment she just looked at me as if to soak it all in. The memories of our time together flew through my head. There was so much I wanted to say to her, but one sentence seemed to sum it all up.

"It's OK Me-Ma, one day we'll catch butterflies together again."