What are the signs of a cheating husband?

If you suspect your husband is cheating, you are obviously not taking the situation lightly. In fact you've probably given it quite a bit of thought.

When an affair starts, the person being cheated on will immediately detect that something is wrong. Although they may not know exactly what's out of order, they'll have a gut feeling that something is going on behind their back. It's not until later that all the small pieces of the puzzle start coming together and the spouse starts noticing very abrupt changes in their partners behavior. At this point, classic signs of a cheating husband are very obvious.

Unfortunately, it's sometimes hard to distinguish innocent behavior from illicit behavior. You start second-guessing yourself, wondering if you are interpreting things correctly. After all, the last thing you want to do is approach your husband and accuse him of cheating when there is nothing going on.

Here are some classic signs that your husband is having an affair. Although it's possible that there is an innocent explanation for his behavior, if he exhibits some of the following signs, there is a good chance that your suspicions were accurate.

He suddenly becomes interested in his appearance. He'll start watching what he eats, working out, and buying out of the ordinary sundry items such as hair-gel and cologne. His taste in clothes might change dramatically, especially if he's trying to dress for a younger woman. It will be hard to hide this behavior; especially, if you've been married for a while. After all, who knows him better than his wife. This obsession with his appearance might be innocent, but chances are, he is trying to impress someone.

He spends a lot more time online. The Internet is a perfect medium for communicating with his mistress. The appeal of instant communication can be very enticing. After all, in the beginning of any relationship, a couple's priority will always be to maintain as much contact as possible. Take note of any mood changes after he finishes a computer session. Is there any obvious change in his demeanor? For example, a sudden burst of happiness (or sadness).

He always (without fail) erases his cell phone and Internet history. Unless you have something to hide, no one will do this on a consistent basis.

His cell phone keeps alerting him at home. Even though he might tell you that these phantom calls are wrong numbers; don't believe it. Yes, there is a chance that he could be receiving wrong numbers (we all do), but this will be above and beyond what is normal. If he gets a lot of text messages, in particular, simply ask him who it is - don't worry, you have a right.

New techniques and moves are introduced into the bedroom. This is one of the most blatant signs that something is seriously wrong. You should be able to pick up on this instantly if you've been together for some time. After years of the same routine, things just don't pop up out of nowhere.

His work schedule suddenly changes dramatically. You have to be careful here. There could be a very reasonable explanation for why he is suddenly working so many late nights and taking many more business trips. However, this is also an indication that he is burning the candle at both ends while trying to satisfy the demands of two relationships.

You have a gut feeling that something is wrong. Although you can't quite put your finger on it, you know that something has changed, you're just not sure what. This is typical of what a spouse will go through in the initial stages of their partner's affair. Although you should listen to that inner voice, you also need to use your common sense and try to rationalize the situation.

The thought that your husband could be having an affair can be extremely stressful and anxiety inducing. Many times, even though the proof is overwhelming, wives will find themselves torn between the love and trust that has been built up over the years, and the cold,hard evidence before them. You can't afford to let those old feelings cloud your judgment when it comes to infidelity. You need to know the truth at whatever cost.

Be prepared for a rough road ahead as you start gathering evidence to confront your husband. Some of the techniques will require that you be a little deceiving and sneaky. If you cannot bring yourself to invade your husband's privacy, then there is little hope that you will get the kind of evidence you will need.

On the other hand, you didn't ask for all this and you are simply responding to a threat that could destroy your family. Sometimes this is enough incentive to put your scruples on the back-burner, toughen up, and do what needs to be done.

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Gathering evidence to confront your cheating husband can be time consuming and nerve-racking. And some methods produce better results than others.

In the past (pre-Internet and cell phone), there was very little a wife could do to gather any sort of hard evidence against her cheating husband. Much of the problem had to do with the fact that the husband would destroy any physical evidence long before it could be discovered. Besides, where would they start looking?

Today, things are much different. For the wives of cheating husbands, there is a huge opportunity to get the evidence they need to confront their significant other.

So what's different?

In a word: Technology.

What you may not realize is that your husband is almost certainly communicating with his lover via Internet and cell phone several times a day. After all, it offers significant privacy and a whole lot of convenience. Getting the information you need could be as simple as accessing his cell phone, or computer history.

If you have his logon password for the computer, you'll be able to view his browser history and chat history - of course, this is provided he hasn't erased it.

If you can't get his password or he has erased all traces of his activity, an easier (and possibly, more effective) way would be to "borrow" his cell phone and copy every number in his recent calls folder. Keep in mind that he's going to erase the entire history after every communication - provided, of course, that he remembers each time. If he is communicating with her several times a day, it's only a matter of time before you find what you're looking for.

After you've got a list of cell phone numbers, you'll want to do a Reverse Cell Phone Lookup for each suspicious number. Cell phone numbers are not in the public domain and, therefore, are not available through the usual free services. However, there are several excellent companies that provide every detail about the cell phone owner, including their name and address. They buy their information from all the big cell carriers and charge a small fee to access their massive database. You can't get this information any other way.

Here is one of the best in the business:

NEXT STEPS

So, you're fairly sure that your husband has been cheating on you. After all, he is exhibiting most of the classic signs of a cheating spouse - but what's the next move? Having this knowledge isn't accomplishing anything unless you follow it up with action.

Well, there's really only one way to go from here: you have to start planning how you're going to gather enough rock-solid evidence to confront your cheating husband.

Although the signs of infidelity are obviously there, you need more than that. You can't approach him with something as serious as this without having indisputable proof. If your proof is nothing more than assumptions and suspicions, be prepared to have your allegations dismissed and the situation twisted (sometimes even making you out to be the bad guy).

If you are diligent, do your homework, and take the necessary time to gather your evidence, you can feel much more confident when the time comes to approach your husband - there will be no room for denial. When your evidence is so overwhelming, it's not unusual for them to come clean and admit everything - after all, what choice do they have?

Here are three powerful methods to get the proof you need:

Gather Receipts

Make it a point to search for, and copy, receipts, bills, and credit card statements. Oh, and don't forget the cell phone bill. Obviously, you'll want to do this without getting caught, so don't take any unnecessary risks. This paper evidence won't always be easy to obtain, - after all, he likely won't be leaving all kinds of evidence lying around.

Check his car, glove box, under the seat for any receipts. You might be surprised what you find here (hidden mail, love letters, articles of clothing, who knows?). There is a good chance that he will be hiding something in his car - things he doesn't want lying around the house.

Don't forget to check coat pockets, briefcases, and desk drawers in the house. You'll want to copy any incriminating evidence you find and keep the copies in a very safe place (definitely not in the house or your car).

You absolutely must return these receipts after you've copied them. If he suspects that you were rifling through his stuff, you'll never see another piece of evidence left lying around. If he suspects you are on to him, he'll start being meticulous.

Gather Computer Evidence

While this method can provide you with very solid, indisputable evidence, there is one problem: You need his password. Without this, there is not much you can do. However, if you have a logon on the same computer, he might be saving stuff on a common folder that is accessible to you. Check it out, it's worth a try.

Obviously, if you want to get the real evidence, you'll need his primary password. If your husband is having an affair, he will be very diligent about covering his tracks - you can bet that he's changed his logon.

Depending on how well you know each other, you might be able to take an educated guess as to what his password is. The average person is not very sophisticated when it comes to this - they just want something that they can easily remember.

You might even try looking for bits of paper around the computer or in a desk that might have his password scribbled on it.

If you are able to access his account, the first thing you will want to do is gather information from his browser history, e-mails, and any chat/messenger services that he uses. It's almost certain that he's communicated with the other woman at some point online. The evidence is there if you look for it.

Access His Cell Phone

The most incriminating evidence of all is most likely in your husband's cell phone. If he's having an affair, he is most certainly communicating with her through his cell phone. The idea that the cheating couple can contact each other at a moments notice, through text or voice, is very appealing. Do you honestly think that he isn't contacting her during the day?

If you get a chance to access his cell, you'll want to jot down every number in his recent calls, address book, and text history. Don't worry about trying to figure out who belongs to each number - just write them down quickly, and don't get caught.

Afterwards (at your leisure), you can go to The White Pages website (it's free) and enter each number to find more information, including the owner's name and address. Many of the numbers will be cell phone numbers and this information is private. The major cell phone carriers don't publicly list any personal information (name, address) about their subscribers. In order to find out the name and address of the person belonging to that cell number, you need to use a Reverse Cell Phone Lookup service.

They buy the most up-to-date information direct from all the major cell carriers and make this private information available to the public for a small fee. Don't waste your time trying to find a free reverse cell phone lookup website, because they don't exist. If you do luck out and find this number somewhere on the Internet, chances are, the information is incomplete and dated.

So there you have it, three killer ways to quickly get rock-solid evidence to confront your cheating husband.

One of the first questions a wife will ask herself after catching her husband cheating is: How did he find the opportunity, and free up enough time, to actually meet someone? After all, he works all day and at night he's home with you. Where would he find the time?

Actually, the answer to that question is right under your nose.

If cheating is a "crime of opportunity," he might have plenty of opportunity to get to know some coworkers a little better than others. After all, he spends a good eight hours a day with them. It's only natural that relationships are forged and friendships are built. That's not to say that coworkers can't become friends without something happening, it's just that there is always a chance someone will want more.

So, how can you tell if your husband is having an affair at work? Try using the following five techniques:

1. Keep calling during lunch. If you can never get a hold of him because he's always out of the office, he could be spending some quality time with a certain coworker.

2. When he's heading out the door in the morning, suggest that you meet up for lunch. Make it look like a last-minute idea. This way, you leave him no opportunity at all to make up an excuse. If he's meeting her for lunch, he'll probably start stumbling over his words as his mind desperately races to think of a believable excuse. If he seems to become agitated and angry, take that as a warning sign that something is definitely up.

3. Show up at his work unannounced around lunchtime. Make sure you're happy and smiling and offer to take him out to lunch - your treat. Don't do this too often as it could easily be interpreted as borderline stalking. If you catch him off guard and he appears flustered, embarrassed, or angry; you might have something to worry about.

4. If you find yourself in a desperate situation and you absolutely must know the truth before it drives you crazy, you can try spying on him at work. Find out what time he takes his lunch and what time he leaves for the day. As he exits the building, take note of who he is with and how he's acting. Is there another woman walking with him? How friendly do they appear to be? A word of warning: this is an extreme measure and should not be taken lightly. If you get caught spying on your husband, you'll certainly have a lot of explaining to do. Besides that, can you handle the moral implications?

5. Take advantage of any social functions that your husband's company puts on. Examples might be, a Christmas party, a summer picnic, or a golf tournament. If the affair is going strong, he'll want to prevent you from talking or getting to know any of his coworkers. So, in fact, you may never know about upcoming company functions. But if it's brought up (or you find out from someone else), always suggest that you both go - actually, insist on it. Try to get to know some of his coworkers and use your intuition to pick up on any strange vibes between your husband and a certain female coworker. Also, keep your ears open for any suggestive statements from his fellow workers. While they may not openly tell you that he's a little too friendly with one of the secretaries, they may leave clues if you can read between the lines.

So, why do men cheat?

If you've ever been involved with a cheating man, you know how emotionally devastating the truth can be.

Unfortunately, once he's been caught, you are put in a position where you must play hardball with someone you loved and trusted all these years. On top of all that is the realization that things will never (could never) be the same again.

But why do men cheat?

Human nature - It's a well-known fact that more men are preoccupied with sex than women. That's not to say that all men are obsessed with sex, but a disproportionate number are compared to women. The bottom-line is that many men simply give in to their primal urges.

The "new relationship rush" - There are not many things in life that can compare to the new relationship rush. You think about your new partner 24/7 and the world just seems to be a better place. You experience an almost, "giddy" feeling and you feel more alive than you have in years. The feeling is intoxicating and addictive to some people.

He has no scruples - Simply put, some guys just don't think twice about cheating. It comes easy to them and there is no regret or remorse afterwards. How well do you know your husband? Are you absolutely sure that he's not capable of having an affair. Fortunately, for the cheating husband, you can't read his mind or know his innermost thoughts. Although he might display a high degree of integrity on the outside, do you really know what he's capable of? He could have a dark side that he keeps hidden very well.

He allows emotion to guide him - If you already have marital problems, he could very well find comfort in the arms of another - and the worst part is that he will justify it by the way he's being treated in his marriage. He might even convince himself that he has no choice.

Vanity - Even though he won't be showing off his new mistress in public, the excitement of having a new woman on his arms will dominate his thoughts. This is especially true if his new lover is younger than him. If this is what drove your husband to having an affair, then he obviously has low self-esteem issues. Many people will mistakenly assume that he is just having a midlife crisis, but it could run much deeper than that.

Opportunity - As incredible as this sounds, many husbands probably don't even realize that they are capable of cheating on their spouse until the right opportunity presents itself. Once fate delivers an irresistible chance, your so-called, "faithful" husband might jump at the opportunity.

Men cheat for many reasons. Most of the them have nothing to do with you at all. Unfortunately, you are the person that will eventually have to deal with your husband's infidelity. When this happens you need to be strong and firm and accept the fact that he crossed the line and decided that his affair meant more to him than his marriage.

If you suspect your man is cheating on you, you can't waste any time. The longer you sit in denial, the more entrenched the affair will become. You need to be proactive and start gathering evidence immediately.