Home » Education » Science » Fun with Science

How to Build a Cheese-Powered Car

Ranked #16,569 in Education, #333,146 overall

Bovine technology is the wave of the future. Yes -- it's a crazy concept, I know, but some of the most groundbreaking innovations sometimes come from sources you would least expect. Such as cows. Yes, milk is delicious, and it provides essential vitamins and nutrients that our bodies require, but can it also power a vehicle? 

Think of all the benefits of moving toward milk-powered technology: no petroleum waste, no smog, and a total absense of hydrocarbons, nitrogen oxides, and carbon monoxide. Truly amazing, I know.

How do you get one of these vehicles? Well, right now, the only way is to build one yourself. And that's why I created this lens -- to help get you started. The process is fairly simple, and can be broken down into 4 easy steps:

Step 1: Make Your Own Cheese

Freshly made cheese not only tastes better, but its ingredients are pure and chock full of energy just waiting to be converted into fuel for your new vehicle. Just as gasoline includes an octane rating, the type of cheese you use impacts the performance of your new vehicle. I recommend that you experiment with several different types of cheese until you perfect your process.

Finding the right cheese

Loading

The cheese-making process

Loading

The cheese authorities

Wisconsin Cheese Makers Association
Home of the cheeseheads, so they know their stuff.
NY State Cheesemaker Guild
My thief rolls a 9-sided die and strikes you with his poisoned Flail of Despair....hang on, wrong kind of guild.
Fresco Cheese
Australian cheesemakers. Throw some gouda on the barbie, mate!
Real California Cheese
All the locals know that its not about Hollywood, the Golden Gate Bridge, Yosemite, or the OC --- its about the cheese.

Cheese accessories that you need

Loading

Step 2: Retrofit Your Vehicle

As with any alternate fuel vehicle, you are going to want to customize your cheese-powered vehicle to make it as lightweight as possible, for better fuel efficiency. You just spent a couple days making your own special gorgonzola - don't waste your resources with a bulky SUV. In fact, I recommend you buy a second car, something small and light. Here are some helpful links.

Finding a new or used vehicle

Loading

Building a light-weight, alternative fuel vehicle

Loading

Finding a spot to test drive your car

Loading

Step 3: Invent an Engine that Converts Cheese into Energy

Ok, here's the true secret to successfully powering your new vehicle -- inventing an engine that converts the cheese into energy. But since you already have the cheese and the modified vehicle, momentum is on your side! Once you've built your engine (you are very smart!), your next step is to protect your invention.

Understanding the patent process

Loading

Build a business to sell more

Loading

Step 4: Get onto the Talk Show Circuit

You've just accomplished something amazing! Now you need to tell Oprah - and the world - all about it!

Go for the big boys first, then move to radio

Oprah
A great place to start, but just be aware that Oprah is likely to give away free cheese-powered vehicles to all of her audience members, so be prepared.
David Letterman
David's show is usually booked solid, so you may need to employ some other gimmicks to get noticed -- such as offering to drop one of your cars off of the top of his building, so they can replay it over and over and over for cheap laughs.
Jay Leno
Jay loves to talk about cars. You will easily get repeat visits to show Jay the advances you're making in your vehicles (turbo cheese? awesome!)

Tell us how cheese-powered vehicles have changed your life!

submit
  • Reply
    aquariann May 17, 2010 @ 8:53 pm | delete
    Fun lens! Not sure I'd be able to sacrifice cheese to power my car, though - it's much too tasty!!
  • Reply
    blue22d Sep 6, 2009 @ 5:41 pm | delete
    Wow, I love it. I love cheese and I am excited to see the other uses. Five stars and a favorite. I think you will enjoy learning about the many uses for the onion: The Mighty Onion. Hope you will visit.
  • Reply
    rms Apr 2, 2009 @ 12:17 pm | delete
    Nice work on this lens! I'm Squidoo's Giant Squid Mentor and I wanted to be sure you were aware of our Giant Squid Lensmaster program. Giant Squids enjoy great perks.
    You can learn more about the program and get some wonderful lensmaking tips by visiting: http://www.squidoo.com/giantsquidmentor
  • Reply
    groovyoldlady Mar 27, 2007 @ 6:26 am | delete
    OK...I LOVE this lens. Since I'm "very smart" I'm going down to the garage right now to see if I can build an engine out of the plastic and glass and metal in the recycling bins.
  • Reply
    Christian Nov 15, 2006 @ 5:11 pm | delete
    A co-worker volunteered a more practical process:

    1. Make your own cheese
    2. Retrofit your vehicle
    3. Purchase engine that runs on methane gas
    4. Feed cheese to lactose intolerant humans
    5. Harness methane gas byproduct from lactose intolerant humans.
    6. Fuel vehicle with methane.
Show All

Was this lens on cheese-powered vehicles helpful to you?

Loading poll. Please Wait...

by

Christian

Technology junkie and closet Barry Manilow fan, Christian's mind is full of useless 80's music trivia and ideas for new entrepreneurial ventures. When... more »

Feeling creative? Create a Lens!

Explore related pages

Related Tags