Child Protection Work

My involvement with child protection work is now thankfully surrendered to a higher power. "God takes care of all children" is my bias and personal investment in child protection these days. I say this up front, because I truly believe this, and I know via the experience in child protection that brought me to understand only the anguish of defeat of the personal will, that as bureaucrats, as lookers-in and lookers-on, we cannot play God. We cannot guarantee safety in the same world we often erroneously deem unsafe. When I first entered college social work studies, my motivations were to 'help save children'- but I really didn't know from what. I had no idea that I would later find myself in the position of being completely unable to protect my step-daughter within the child protection system, even with two degrees in the field I had zero power to 'help' her in reality. In a nutshell, when push came to shove I found myself lying in court to protect her, because her protection rose above all else in the code of ethics, in the courts of law; she had come to me and disclosed at the very least extremely negative behaviors from a guardian caregiver, and of that she became the only child there was to protect. I dropped everything in my life to try and protect one child- and that would later come to light as an error on my part because I am not responsible for destiny. For years I did supervised access visits for children in foster care and their parents, and saw that children in foster care were often in worse straights than prior to removal. Not always, but certainly the irony of the situation was painfully apparent. Those kids were safe for the hour they were with me, I was paid to call in the powers that be to put a stop to any violence- but I was only able to do that job with each child a few hours per week over a course of seven years before the duality of the system became too much to bear. Did I help kids while doing that job? Who knows, maybe the interaction was helpful, but the truth was, those kids knew I could do nothing to protect them in reality. As soon as they left the care of the child protection worker, they were once again at the mercy of the world, and and also, a point that was not apparent to me until my step-daughter would make some declarations, at the mercy of their own karma. I discovered this to be the truth in my own family dynamics; I was powerless to control the karma or destiny of another, to 'protect' the destiny of a child, or to frame it as a picture of safety. While they were perhaps well-presented in theory, those options simply did not exist in reality.

The previous summer before we got the knock on the door from child protection workers, my husband and I had been involved in a child custody case spurred when his 13 y/o daughter claimed her new step-father was abusive. Putting child protection first I used my connections to the best of my ability to gain an interview with child protection social workers and the child in question before she went before the judge to say what she'd told her father and myself. I suffered a mental health break down during this time and was unable to return to my job in the social work field. It was at the end of this summer of attending family court weekly, and exhausting our finances that I had this physical and mental collapse. When the child protection workers knocked on my door, I could have agreed that I'd become quite mentally unstable at one point trying to protect my step-daughter. There was no need however, because when we gave permission for the workers to come into the house, and to interview our child at school immediately, the interview occurred and the child protection workers seemed to bolt as quickly as they could; the case was closed in haste with almost a sense of embarrassment and apology. They'd knocked on my door, and met a woman who held the same degree they did, a woman who was going to follow due process because she had nothing to hide. Any truth to the allegations were not relevant to child protection work, had little if nothing to do with child safety, and were clearly, but indefinably, based on retaliation. To the workers' credit, they are not privy to such a sense of things until they pay the actual visit- the called in information alone has no weight. But this is a very costly measure to take for all such 'concerns' - financially, and emotionally. Those two workers spent at least a day coming to our house, going to our daughter's school, and writing up the report. At $20 an hour per worker that's almost $400 cost to taxpayers in wages alone. The result of the custody battle was that my husband won- but even that still had little/no impact on protecting the child. Shortly after custody was gained, the girl voluntarily returned to her mother and step-father without consulting her father. Several months later, in what was a direct consequence of involving the system in the first place, child protection workers were on our doorstep. As I mentioned, I have surrendered the idea of 'my' role in child protection to a higher power. There is no degree on earth than gives one the power to protect another. And there is no agency in the world that can stop the course of one's destiny and one's karma.

1. As a supervised access worker, I watched as one young baby in particular went from thriving to failure to thrive after being removed from his biological mother and transferred to different foster homes. He got worse as he went from each home; what was once a lively little boy excited about his environment had become a withdrawn, sullen little person who looked starved on all levels. My heart ached for him; those were the children I just wanted to bring home, say 'screw the details, I'm just going to love you'.

2. I was involved in one particular case where I was called to testify in court against the father; my testimony to what I'd witnessed occur between him and his child was especially particular to the child's permanent removal from his care. This seemed to me a life or death case; violence, psychopathy were rampantly described by many professionals and I'd witnessed it myself subtly and overtly expressed during the visits. The childrens' behaviors towards their parents vs their foster parents told a story on its own; one that I wasn't 'allowed' to include in my documentations, but could not disembark from my awareness. It was very clear without any court, without any laws, without any bureaucracy that those children were not safe with the people who made them. The courts won, the child protection workers won. Six months later, baby #6 was born; but only the first five children were to be permanently removed by the current court order. If baby #6 was to be protected by the system, the entire process would need to start all over again. And, it did. The cost of foster care, the court systems, income assistance, and workers wages in this case is indescribable. But by then, I, at least, had surrendered.

3. I watched as more than one young mom who'd gotten in with the 'wrong guy' found the courage and strength to leave him while her children were in the care of the ministry. I was blessed by their abilities to cry in my presence, but quickly wipe away the tears and find the strength to be positive for their children during the visits. When love was genuine, it was apparent to everyone, it pervaded the atmosphere. When the system worked, it was because it was enhancing that which was already working- authentic love. When the system 'didn't work' it was because it was fighting a losing battle, perpetuating war, and one that could never be won.