Child Discipline

There has been a lot of talk recently about corporal punishment and some governments are considering banning corporal punishment of children. Corporal punishment of children involves smacking or spanking children when they are disobedient.

Let us explore the difference between discipline and punishment and look at the advantages and disadvantages of bringing up children using punishment and discipline.

There is a great deal of difference between punishment and child discipline.

Punishment involves causing pain or discomfort to a child in order to get them to change their behaviour. The thinking behind this, is that if the child is hurt they would think twice about misbehaving the next time. This often works, unfortunately it is only a short-term solution. Punishment works when the child has been hurt enough to dissuade them from repeating the unacceptable behaviour. However it only works for as long as they are afraid of their parents.

The problem with using punishment as a means of changing unacceptable behaviour is that children learn that parents hurt them if they don't obey the rules. The difficulty with this method they don't understand why those rules are in existence. In response to this method children learn not to get caught when misbehaving. This means that when no one is watching they are likely to misbehave and so their behaviour becomes sneaky.

Discipline as a means of changing unacceptable behaviour is not about inflicting pain or punishment. Discipline is about teaching, training, and guiding. When parents discipline children the purpose is to teach them the difference between right and wrong. It involves not only teaching them the difference but helping them to understand what the consequences of their actions are. The ultimate goal in child discipline is that the child internally develops self-discipline and self-control and understands how to behave appropriately in the future. Through discipline children learn why rules exist and how breaking rules not only impacts them but also others.

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When disciplining children, is important to build a strong foundation that is based on family rules and expectations of behaviour. These rules and expectations need to be determined by the parents. Any behaviours that are not permitted need to be clarified. Once this has been decided upon, the parents need to develop a discipline plan that is flexible enough to be adapted as the children grow older.

By having a discipline plan, consistent discipline becomes much easier. Without a discipline plan set in place, when inappropriate behaviour occurs a parent will often enforce the first consequence that they think of. If that consequence is not part of a long-term plan, or does not consider the age of the child or the circumstances, then ultimately parents have created another problem for themselves.

The use of a preplanned discipline strategy can be a help to a parent in unpredictable situations. Consistency expectations and consequences are less confusing for the child, and also provides a structure for the parent to rely on rather than reacting to the situation in the moment.

When raising children said it is important that parents take a pro active approach to children's discipline. Not all unacceptable behaviour is based on defiance or disobedience. The wise parent will try to prevent predictable and unacceptable behaviour, particularly if the child behaviour is age specific. Some behaviours often occur as a child's way of letting a parent know that some part of their daily life is not working for them. Because of their age a child is not often able to explain exactly what is wrong with them as the ability to verbalize has not yet fully developed. So the behaviour such as refusing to go to bed, crying or having a tantrum is not actually about disobedience. When parents learn to anticipate certain situations that caused this response by the child they can prevent this unacceptable behaviour from happening in the first place.

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