Child-Free By Choice

One of the biggest myths is that you must reproduce in order to accomplish something in life. This is simply not true. For those who want to have children, that is their choice. Therefore it should also be a respected and respectable choice to not have children.

There are many reasons why people choose to live child-free. The one I hold closest to my heart is the problem of over-population. We are using up the planet's resources faster than we can replenish them, and some of them once gone can never be replaced. To breed just because you think you have to is to ignore the fact that our planet cannot handle so many people.

Another excellent reason is that we live in a culture of war and violence. There are many who choose not to have children that will grow up to become cannon fodder for religious wars and wars that will be fought over dwindling resources such as oil, water, and farmland.

Perhaps the most controversial reason is that some people are just not suited to be parents. Some have childhood traumas they don't wish to pass on to their children. Others carry genetic illnesses that cannot be cured by medicine yet and until there are cures, they prefer not to inflict such illnesses on children. And still others have plans for a life that leaves no room for children.

All of these are valid reasons for not having children and deserve the same respect, no matter what the reason. In the end, what we do and don't do is our choice and no one else's.

ISSUES AND UNFAIR TREATMENT-ENTITLEMENT

If the kind of discrimination and separation of benefits that frequently occurs between those with children and those who have chosen to remain child-free were practiced on people of color and certain ethnic groups, the outcry would be heard loud and clear. Here are some specific annoyances the child-free have to deal with on a daily basis:

1. Unequal distribution of time off and benefits in the workplace is the primary complaint. A child-free employee should not be expected to pick up the slack at work because a parent has to fetch a child from soccer practice or daycare. If such practices occur then the child-free employee should be compensated fairly for the time they are in effect doing the work of two or more employees.

2. Another complaint is that a belief is predominant in society that someone who has given birth is somehow better or more deserving than someone who has chosen not to give birth. This sense of entitlement creates and us and them situation where no difference exists between people except that one has bred and one has not. This is not a fair, valid or just criteria for measuring worth.

3. Unequal financial benefits for those who breed is a form of discrimination that must stop. Incentives such as higher tax credits for those who have children, no matter how much they make, is blatant discrimination. Tax credits should be based on income and not number of children. Why should a senior citizen struggling to get by on minimum social security payments receive less assistance than an upper middle class couple with several children.

4. The village is not responsible for parenting. This is an annoyance that allows irresponsible breeders to expect everyone to raise their children for them. Part of parenting as an adult, functioning member of society is the realization that parenthood comes with responsibilities and the primary one is that the parent is responsible for raising the child.

5. Adults who have chosen to remain child-free should not have to live in a world where every form of entertainment, reading material, and internet access is limited because children might accidentally stumble upon inappropriate material. It is much more reasonable to expect that parenting includes the ability to monitor your own children's access to things you consider objectionable. It is why televisions and computers come with an off switch. Do not punish adults for your own inability to parent your children.

6. It's time to dispel the myth that you can only be happy by reproducing yourself. This is an insult to the child-free and is simply not true. If happiness were a measurement of worth, then many parents would fail the test.

7. Not everyone is meant to be parents. Accept that as a fact and quit penalizing those who choose not to breed.

8. Understand that there are many reasons people choose not to have children such as concerns for an overpopulated planet and limited resources, the knowledge that one does not have the patience or desire to parent, and the understanding that leaving behind great works of art, music, and literature are no less a legacy than playing your genes forward.