Childfree by Choice

When my husband and I made the decision not to have children (a decision we discussed during our engagement), I didn't realize how that would impact my life. I had never heard the term "childfree" at that point. I knew that I had never really had a desire to have children, something that was talked about when I was a teenager. My mom even mentioned that I had never been very "motherly". As I began to fall in love with boys during my high school years, I realized that I would probably have children for the sake of the man I loved. Having reached that conclusion, I spent the remainder of my high school and college years assuming that I would have children. Imagine my surprise and delight when my fiancé and I got into a discussion about children and I learned that he didn't really care whether or not he had children. We both determined to wait before taking any "drastic measures" to see if we changed our minds, but both felt confident that we would not have children. In early marriage, I heard the "you'll change your mind" comment when stating we didn't plan on having children. This comment would irritate me for it assumed that the other person knew my mind better than I did. As time went on, it became clear that choosing not to have children was a decision that few people make. I began to realize that the decision not to have children was a major lifestyle choice, one that would impact the rest of my life. Choosing the "childfree" lifestyle put me in a minority. It also seems to be a controversial and even volatile topic, ranging from it being considered a sin to being perceived as selfish.
Many of those who choose not to have children get asked the question why. There is not always a simple answer. There can be multiple reasons for choosing not to have children. Health issues are one reason and a reason that many consider valid. Others get married later in life and feel that having children is too risky for their age. For me the decision had mostly to do with lack of desire. Some choose not to because of financial reasons, others because of concern for the environment and over-population. Whatever the reason behind the decision, it is a personal decision and one that most childless couples take seriously.