Chinese Fortune Cookie Sayings

This site has a ton of Asian wedding favors, including custom fortune cookies you can have printed with your own sayings inside. Very cool idea!

Click the image to check it out:

"There is a true and sincere friendship between you and your friends." (Meaning they only talk about you behind your back.)

"You find beauty in ordinary things, do not lose this ability." (Only out of habit... waking up next to the same person for the last 20 years will do that to you.)

"Ideas are like children; there are none so wonderful as your own." (As all your co-workers are so happy to point out every chance they get...)

"It takes more than good memory to have good memories." (Yep, a fifth of tequila certainly helps.)

"A thrilling time is in your immediate future." (We said one fifth of tequila, not two!)

"Your blessing is no more than being safe and sound for the whole lifetime." (I guess the winning lottery numbers would be asking too much?)

"Plan for many pleasures ahead." (Hopefully, you didn't get this one on the day before you show up to serve your sentence at the county jail...)



"The joyfulness of a man prolongeth his days." (I'm not even going to comment on this loaded statement.)

"Your everlasting patience will be rewarded sooner or later." ("...sooner or later" - that's classic fortune cookie ambiguity if if I ever saw it.)

"Make two grins grow where there was only a grouch before." (And it becomes clear what happens to Hallmark card writers when they get laid off.)

"Something you lost will soon turn up." (Hopefully, not your ex...)

"As the purse is emptied the heart is filled." (Obviously written to promote bigger tips.)

"Be mischievous and you will not be lonesome." (As our night with the tequila proved...)

"Your artistic talents win the approval and applause of others." (I guess this would apply if my job was writing fortune cookies for a living.)

"Pray for what you want, but work for the things you need." (Can't argue with this one; it actually makes sense.)

"Don't forget, you are always on our minds." (Ah, a fortune cookie message for schizophrenics.)

"Your greatest fortune is the large number of friends you have." (And yet another one...)

"Don't ask, don't say. Everything lies in silence." (So that's where Clinton got the idea for "Don't ask, don't tell"!)



"Be prepared to accept a wondrous opportunity in the days ahead!" (Arrrghh! Must mean someone is going to try to get me in Amway again!)

"Fame, riches and romance are yours for the asking." (Obviously, this one was written for Paris Hilton, because I can't think of a single person it would apply to besides her.)

"Good luck is the result of good planning." (You are a freaking genius!)

"Good things are being said about you." (That's because I read a lot of fortune cookies. They tend to be strangely complimentary - it's kind of creeping me out now that I think about it.)

"Smiling often can make you look and feel younger." (Or, in the case of Joan Rivers, it can ruin $75,000 worth of plastic surgery.)

"Someone is speaking well of you." (There's that damned fortune cookie stalker again!)

"The time is right to make new friends." (This one goes out to the entire Bush cabinet...)

"You will inherit some money or a small piece of land." (I love how it says "some" and "small" - I mean, it would be irresponsible of a fortune cookie to get your hopes up TOO high, right?)

"Your life will be happy and peaceful." (Translation: "Your mother-in-law is moving out.")

"A single kind word will keep one warm for years." (But a snappy retort is a heck of a lot more fun.)

"He who laughs at himself never runs out of things to laugh at." (Uh, thanks Chinese Rodney Dangerfield.)

"If your desires are not extravagant they will be granted." (Once again, the responsibly conservative fortune cookie writer makes his mark.)



"Nature, time and patience are the three best physicians." (Hey, it's the Bush health care plan!)

"You will have a very pleasant experience." (The fortune cookies that follow this theme just crack me up, because the folks who write them have raised ambiguity to a high art. Way to go highly ambiguous fortune cookie writer person!)

"You will spend old age in comfort and material wealth." (Now, don't go get hit by a train or anything or you'll screw it all up!)

"You will step on the soil of many countries." (Worst fortune cookie saying for a soldier...)

"You will take a chance in something in the near future." (Hopefully, not in a moving vehicle...)

"Your great attention to detail is both blessing and a curse." (Gah! Check your use of articles for goodness sakes!)

"A friend asks only for your time, not your money." (Now family, on the other hand...)

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