Death and Do-It-Yourself Funerals

As expressed in my profile most of my immediate family is deceased. I have briefly outlined my experiences of each of these family deaths, as each one was so very different and hence my reactions were very different.If you would like to read these personal experiences you can go to my blog following the link below.
From each of these experiences though I have gleaned a variety of perspectives of death and dying. They have also moulded whom I am today and led me to this place where I want to create a space where information can be shared and peoples access to this information at a time of grief can be made easier.
- I will be reviewing books on the subject of home death, death doulas, and do-it-yourself funerals.
-I will be creating links to the relevant Legislation and paperwork involved in undertaking your own funeral, specific to Perth,Western Australia.
-Presenting information related to the Natural Death Movement, which has been around for years in England and the United States but of which Australia is yet to embrace. I know it is happening at the grassroots and that there are people in Australia creating organizations, lobbying for natural burial sites, tending to their deceased loved ones at home and performing their own funerals.
-I would also like to hear from anyone who has anything to share on the topic so that we can create an information network.

THE CIRCLE OF LIFE.
The main theme in my life thus far has been the birth, life, death, rebirth cycle or the circle of life. It has created and moulded my life experiences and is a big part of who I am. It is these experiences, which have led me to creating this blog and all that I will express within it. Grief has become a very familiar and old friend, one that I know intrinsically. It is from this place that I have developed a desire to find out more about how we can care for our dying in a more natural way and reclaim the process of tending to the dead. Thus, placing that role back into the family and the community, with a vision of creating a more healing and enriching experience for all involved.
I have been a strong advocate for home birth and birthed all of my children at home. This experience has been profound for my family, my community and myself. I now believe that the essence of the home birth experience could be infused into the experience of death. Both of these experiences are rites of passage that transform us. They are times when we enter the veil and walk between the worlds...when we are stripped of all of our masks and reborn into a new form.

"Here is the circle of rebirth. Through you all passes out of life, but through me all may be reborn again. Everything passes; everything changes. Even death is not eternal. Mine is the mystery of the womb that is the cauldron of rebirth. Enter into me and know Me, and You will be free of all fear. For as life is but a journey into death, so death is but a passage back to life, and in Me the circle is ever turning." (STARHAWK, 'The Spiral Dance'19

SINGLE FUNERAL PERMIT
METROPOLITAN CEMETERIES BOARD Perth WA.
I have recently been in touch with the Fremantle Cemetery to find out what is required to undertake your own funeral. If you choose to do-it-yourself you need to apply for a SINGLE FUNERAL PERMIT with the Perth Metropolitan Cemeteries Board whose main office is at Karrakatta Cemetery Perth. They have a kit which has all of the information regarding what documentation is required, what requirements they want met, as well as step-by-step instructions, price lists and contact lists for medical referees, coffin makers and the relevant Government Departments. I obtained my kit from Fremantle Cemetery and I would think that all the metropolitan cemeteries would have it available. I would contact them first just to be sure though. The kit outlines the requirements for both Burials and Cremations. There appears to be more paperwork involved when doing a cremation. Below are links to some of the Government Departments that you tend to deal with.

When my daughter Leteisha died I wanted to paint her coffin. At the time I did not know what was available so I ordered a basic white coffin through the funeral directors. I gathered our family together and we put our handprints on the sides and the kids decorated it with stickers. This was a very healing process for our whole family. I painted the top and felt very connected to Leteisha's spirit.
As an Art Therapist it reinforced what I already knew to be true in that, the creative art making process is very healing and allows the depths of our psyche to express itself.
I would now recommend getting a coffin that is plain pine wood or one of the eco-friendly type that are available on the internet. You could even have a go at making your own. Try and use non-toxic paints and be conscious of what glues and adhesives you use as these pollute the environment when buried or cremated.
Gather your family, friends,and community and have a special time together. It is a great opportunity to share stories about our loved one and to perhaps create something that is reflective of their personality. Most importantly see it as an opportunity to grieve and start the healing process.

I recently attended a friends Memorial Service. My friend had struggled with Breast Cancer for over 3 years and graciously and courageously faced death. The Memorial Service was written and created by her before she died. It was so beautiful. She had a partner and two young daughters and the service was designed for them. It was held in a park and a friend conducted the service, we honored and remembered her. There was a photo board full of photos. We were asked to write a blessing for her which was then attached to a balloon and released. We were also asked to write positive statements for her children which were placed on a wishing tree and which would then be given to each of her girls for their memory boxes. There was no coffin as she had chosen to have an unaccompanied cremation. The Memorial Service was then followed by a Wake.
It was truly a celebration of her life and we were all given a postcard with a collage of photos of her to take home for our own Memory boxes.
I wanted to share this story as it highlights some simple things that we can do to create a beautiful Ceremony. It was a very child friendly service and inclusive of the children which was wonderful.
I wasn't sure what to do as a gift for the family so my daughter and I made little gift bags for the two girls with little worry dolls, candles, tealight lanterns, a rose quartz gemstone and a beautiful angel to place somewhere special.

I recently attended a workshop about Enduring Power Of Attorney, Orders for Administration and yet to be approved Enduring Power of Guardianship and Advanced Health Directives (Living Wills). They are currently trying to pass the Bill through the Western Australian State Government.
Basically, a Living Will is a written request of any medical directives you wish to have made on your behalf if you are considered to not be able to make sound decisions for yourself. For example if you want to choose not to be resuscitated in certain situations. A Living Will can also encompass lifestyle decisions and presumably you would be able to leave clear instructions on how you would like your funeral conducted.
Until this Act is passed though what one can do is discuss your wishes with family, write it all down clearly, get your GP to sign it to say that you were of sound mind when writing your wishes and consider someone to be an Enduring Power of Attorney for you. If you elect someone for this role, discuss your wishes with them so that they know what you want. If you want to have something that is very specific and complex it would be advised to seek Legal advice and have a Solicitor write up a Living Will for you, keeping in mind the expense invoved.
For more information I would recommend attending a workshop that is offered by the Fremantle Community Legal Service. They also offer workshops on Wills.

BOOK REVIEWS
DEALING CREATIVELY WITH DEATH. A MANUAL OF DEATH EDUCATION AND SIMPLE BURIAL.
This book gives a simple overview of the death process. It covers topics such as death education, living with dying, simple burial and cremation,death ceremonies and other related topics. It is a good resource as it lists references to other books and relevant organizations. It also has sample ceremonies. It is however American based information.

MIDWIFE FOR SOULS. SPIRITUAL CARE FOR THE DYING.By Kathy Kalina.
Kathy Kalina is a nurse who works in the Hospice Care area and is 100% Catholic. Her book is very God and religious focused but is still written to enable people to understand the dying process and how to spiritually assist people who are dying. She makes a fantastic comparison between the birthing process and the dying process. It is an easy read book with beautiful stories and great information. The back of the book is filled with prayers that you can refer to if assisting a dying person. It is specific to Hospice Care and people who are terminally ill.

COMING TO REST: A GUIDE TO CARING FOR OUR OWN DEAD by Julie Wiskind and Richard Spiegal.
This book is a great book...very simply written and structured and has some wonderful checklists to help people get organized if a death is impending. It is an American based book and the laws relate to USA only.

SACRED DYING: CREATING RITUALS FOR EMBRACING THE END OF LIFE by Megory Anderson.
I love this book...Megory talks about her experiences as a Death Doula, vigiling with dying people in either their home or hospital/hospice. She talks about how important it is to create a sacred space for the person who is dying and creating rituals to assist them in their process. These rituals are to help them resolve issues that are preventing them from letting go and dying. Other rituals are designed to help the person move easily through the dying process. Her focus is always on the dying person's needs and attending to the spiritual aspects of dying, recognizing their beliefs and honouring these. It is a very easy to read book and her personal experiences are inspiring.

FUNERAL RIGHTS.WHAT THE 'DEATH-CARE'INDUSTRY DOESN'T WANT YOU TO KNOW. By Robert Larkins.
I have just finished this book and it is the best resource I have found so far. Firstly, it is relevant to Australia and gives great insight into the workings of the Funeral sector and its history. It outlines the practical steps one needs to consider when organizing and making decisions around what sort of funeral you would like and how to care for the deceased. Included in this are step-by-step actions one needs to take when doing a Do-it-yourself funeral. There are lots of personal accounts and resource lists and so much more. Coming from a legal background Robert presents all the relevant legal information and authorities that one needs to deal with in regards to death and your Funeral rights.
I would highly recommend this book.