Funny One Liners 16 - Top 10 Clean Funny One Liners

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I try to see the best in everyone. They, however, are trying harder to hide it from me.

Dieting is for the birds. Which is why you hardly ever see a fat bird.

Nothing ever works out for me. The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.

It's not what you do. It's what you get away with.

I was having an awful day at work so I went for a walk to clear my head. The passenger in my taxi was fuming.

All mothers have intuition. Great mothers have radar.

Hard work never killed anybody. But it does keep you off Facebook.

When I was a kid, we were so poor that when the wolf came to the door he brought his own sandwiches.

Proof computers are female: Even your smallest mistakes are immediately committed to memory for future reference.

An ad begs me to try "the toothbrush most dental professionals use" and I think, "That's gross; I'll buy my own."

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