Divorce Strategies
Divorce is never easy. And Collaborative Divorce is not for everyone. But the strategies included in this lens are meant to offer alternatives to the finger pointing and hostility that tend to arise when couples divorce. Mediation services and family law facilitators can also be of great service to families who are separating.
This lens is not meant to serve as legal advice, and anyone who finds themselves in a divorce or custody situation should certainly seek the advice of legal counsel if necessary.
Come out a Winner
Collaborative Divorce Helps All Kinds of Families
Give Up the Idea of Win-Lose
Collaborative Divorce is a process that more and more couples are discovering. Rather than heading to divorce court, both parties sit down with attorneys and discuss and resolve issues like asset distribution, child custody, and even family and spousal support.
The Benefits
The traditional divorce process creates wounds that can go on for years, sometimes forever. A Collaborative Divorce involves a financial consultant, a child specialist, and a coach or therapist for each party. Generally both the husband and wife will each have their own attorney. The Collaborative Divorce isn't necessarily cheap, but it generally will cost you much less than an acrimonious and drawn out court battle.
Employing a Collaborative Divorce strategy allows you to wrap things up QUICKER. You won't be subject to the calendars and schedules of the divorce courts, where even the simplest scheduling can be drawn out over the course of several months.
Perhaps the best part of Collaborative Divorce is you can create arrangements that sometimes court judges cannot and will not grant.
Life After Divorce
Keys to a Healthy Divorce
No more finger pointing.
Don't keep score.
Don't tear down the other parent.
Focus on what IS, not what WAS.
Be willing to forgive.
Putting Your Kids First
Often times the distrust or pain that parents feel toward their ex-partner can lead them to act in ways that actually do emotional harm to their children. Collaborative Divorce keeps the focus where it belongs: on maintaining healthy relations once the parties have separated.
Collaborative Divorce seeks to find ways in which the parties can act together, while living separately, to build and maintain a strong family unit. Divorce doesn't mean your family is "breaking up." It simply means that your family will look differently than it used to.
Currently, Collaborative Divorce is available in all states except for Idaho, Montana, North Dakota, South Dakota, and Wyoming.
Resources from Amazon
You're not a Part-Time Mom Or Dad
Every parent knows that there is nothing easy about parenting. Everyone makes mistakes. The key to a solid relationship with your children is making sure they feel loved and accepted. This allows them to understand and forgive any mistakes you might make.
Are You Making These Mistakes?
Help build your child's excitement toward visits at the other parent's home. Talk frequently about the other parent, in glowing terms, so your child will see your ex-partner as someone who loves them and supports them, even when they are not physically around.
Tips for the Non-Custodial Parent
Making Promises... Be careful not to make promises that you cannot keep. If you promise to see your kids "next weekend," make darn sure that you do. Kids, especially after the separation, will be looking to you to be consistent, nurturing, and loving.
Be There... When it's your time with the kids, be there. Not just physically of course, but emotionally. Don't have your kids for weekend visits, and then fill up your time doing things without them. Don't pick up extra work shifts when you have the kids, don't make social plans that don't include them, and don't relegate your visit to an entire weekend in front of the television. Show your kids that you are delighted that you have the time together. Spending your time with your children is of course a legal right, but more importantly to them, it's a genuine privilege to have these amazing people in your life. Make sure you treat that time as special.
Is Collaborative Divorce Right for YOU?
Divorce Attorney FAQ: "Why choose Collaborative Divorce?"
San Diego collaborative divorce lawyer and mediator Shawn Weber answers the Frequently Asked Question: "What are some of the advantages of choosing Collaborative Divorce?" This San Diego, California collaborative-law attorney can be reached at (619) 234-2121 or http://www.bravefamlaw.com.
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Parenting is Forever

Just because your relationship with your partner ends, it does not impact your responsibility, emotionally and financially to the children. Both parents should make every attempt possible to continue their vital role in their childrens' lives. Kids need to experience the love, support, and interest of both their parents. Kids have the absolute right and need to feel the love of both parents, no matter who they live with.
When going through a divorce it is perfectly normal for you to feel isolated, angry, lonely, guilty, or disappointed. You might feel anxious about your ability to provide financially and emotionally for your children. How you feel about yourself will absolutely impact how your children feel about themselves.
True Story!
I divorced without drama - so can you!
From a personal standpoint, I can tell you that while the decision to separate and divorce might not be easy, you can consciously choose to divorce with dignity. You have the power to greatly reduce the stress to your family and your finances.Sometimes it means compromise. But in every case, it means living with self respect, and allowing your ex or soon-to-be-ex to maintain their dignity as well.
When my ex-husband and I separated we decided that we could always earn more money, we could always buy another house, we could always buy more "stuff"...but we would never have the opportunity to "do it over" and erase the psychological and emotional trauma we might put our children through if we let things get ugly. Decision Made.
After 3 years, my ex and I have never had a harsh word between us, and we maintain our focus on co-parenting our children in a healthy, and loving way.
I wrote an easy to follow, step-by-step guide on how to move through your divorce with dignity. You can grab your copy here.
Divorce Blogs
Visit these blogs to learn more...
- Public Funds for Collaborative Law will help Courts become the ...
- "A Collaborative Family Law approach allows separating couples and their lawyers to sit down together to reach an agreement face to face in a muc.
- Collaborative Divorce – Breaking Up Doesn't Have to Mean Breaking ...
- Munish Rathee Ferris consulting work, some sites customers, he worked in Seattle divorce lawyer, Sonoma County divorce lawyer, mediator, and St. Louis. Related posts: Collaborative Divorce ? Breaking Up Doesn't Have to Mean Breaking the ...
- Collaborative Practice Group of Pasadena: Why a Collaborative ...
- One significant contrast between a case litigated in the court system and a Collaborative agreement merely submitted for signatures is the anonymity provided the parties in the process. Many divorce lawyers advise their clients to say ...
- Foul Ball or Home Run? Collaborative Divorce Can Be Your Choice!
- One option is the collaborative divorce process, where spouses can choose to work together to create a mutually acceptable solution in the spirit of peace and dignity. Foul ball or home run? You can decide!
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divorce_documents wrote...
This will definitely help alot of people think through the divorce process more carefully. Can't believe you has created such a well-written site in such a short time. I am in awe!
Reasonable_Divorces wrote...
Great lens! You've put together a lot of helpful information here. I'd love for you to visit my lens and say hello when you have the chance.
geterdonegirl wrote...
excellent content....relevant and up to date....Thanks!
ZoeyJordan wrote...
in reply to DickPrice Thanks for stopping by Dick. Collaborative Divorce, as a legal remedy, is NOT for everyone, and the process is not even available in all states. However, I think we can all agree that name calling, finger pointing, and hurting the other parent only adds to the hostility and trauma to the family unit. My goal is to offer folks another way to put their family first, even through a very painful experience like divorce.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
Zoey
DickPrice wrote...
Collaborative Law is a great process, but it may not work for everyone. It can be used for difficult cases and no one should assume that it will only work for the easy cases where everyone is already pretty much in agreement. Another blog on the subject is Texas Collabortive Law Blog at www.texascollaborativelaw.blogspot.com.











