How to Have More Fun When You Interact With Others

You will get the most from this lens if you focus on the needs of different people rather than on their behaviors.

When you meet other people's needs, they will usually respond well to you. So, if you meet their needs, they will be more likely to relax and lighten-up so that you can have more fun together.

Remember that everyone (including you) is a blend of the four primary behavioral styles. For simplicity, this lens focuses on only the highest trait in each person's blend.

Beware of making absolute statements. In conversation, I say that people tend to_____, generally_____, or often do_____. In the interest of simplicity, I left most of those qualifying statements out of this lens.

So, read through this lens for an overview and then bookmark it for later reference.

I hope that you enjoy applying this information, and that this brings more fun into your life. I've also included a link list with links to some of my other related lenses.

For even more insights to build better connections with other people, check the lenses that represent your secondary styles as well. (For a more complete picture of your behavioral style, complete a DISC personality test.)

Just for reference purposes, I have included the DISC Model overview here.

For more detail see these lenses:

The DISC Model

Connecting With People

These people are like you in that they are fast-paced. They may be different from you in that they are task-oriented. They tend to focus on results more than on relationships

Look for them to speak at a fast-pace and directly. Expect them to move fast and to make decisions quickly. They probably will not "beat-around-the-bush."

If you don't have much of this style, they may seem aggressive to you. Don't take this as a sign that they don't like you. They may like you very much. They are just focused on results, and often don't worry with "niceties" in conversation.

They need:

• Choices


• Challenge


• Control

These people are probably just like you. They are outgoing (fast-paced) and they are people-oriented. They love to have fun and to interact with other people. You will probably connect easily.

Look for them to speak at a fast-pace and light-heartedly. Expect them to move fast and to make decisions quickly. They might not speak directly, and they may interact on a close, personal level by sharing stories or asking about your family.

They need:

• Recognition


• Approval


• Popularity

These people are like you in that they are people-oriented. They focus on relationships and feelings more than on tasks and data. They are different from you in that they are reserved (slower paced). They dislike direct confrontations and making quick decisions.

Look for them to speak rather slowly and softly. Expect them to use gentle gestures and to make decisions slowly. Be patient. Beware of getting too personal, too fast.

They probably will not speak directly, and they may disengage if you move too quickly for them.

They tend to value family and relationship above everything else. They may evaluate you based on how you treat others.

They need:

• Security


• Assurance


• Appreciation

These people will probably be the most difficult for you. They are likely the direct opposite from your natural tendencies. They are reserved (slower-paced) and task-oriented. They want data and facts not emotions and feelings.

Look for them to speak in a slower, monotone style. Expect them to move cautiously and to make decisions slowly. They may want more information and validating sources (websites, references, etc.) before making a decision. They tend to speak factually and in measured tones. They generally do not like for people to get too close to them.

Beware of reading their body language and tone to indicate that they do not like you. They don't usually show much emotion on the surface. The harder you work to "make them like you" the more you will probably push them away from you. Just give them some space and time to think.

They need:

• Quality Answers


• Value


• Excellence