Communicating for Peace and Harmony
If you communicate in a warm, friendly, and patient way; this lens is for you. If this describes you, you probably like to interact with people in a way that creates peace. You probably do not like intense or fast-paced conversations.
This lens contains specific communication tips to help you communicate with others to create peace and harmony.
Communicating For Results
Communicating For Fun
High Value Communication
What You'll Find In This Lens
- Are you Reserved and People-oriented?
- Making the Most of This Lens
- Recognizing Dominant People
- Tips For Communicating With Dominant People
- Recognizing Inspiring People
- Tips For Communicating With Inspiring People
- Recognizing Supportive People
- Tips for Communicating With Supportive People
- Recognizing Cautious People
- Tips for Communicating With Cautious People
- The Most Important Thing You Need to Know
- Other Relevant Lenses
- More Relevant Lenses
- Resolving Conflict in Teams Blog
- Positive Principles Newsletter
- Links to Other Sites With FREE Resources
- Recommended Reading
- Your Thoughts? Feedback? Comments?
Are you Reserved and People-oriented?
If you said yes, then this lens is for you. It has insights, ideas, and tips to help you create a more peaceful and cooperative environment when you interact with people.
Making the Most of This Lens
You will get the most from this lens if you focus on the needs of different people rather than on their behaviors.
When you meet other people's needs, they will usually respond well to you. So, if you meet their needs, they will be more likely to relax and cooperate so that you can have more a more peaceful environment.
Remember that everyone (including you) is a blend of the four primary behavioral styles. For simplicity, this lens focuses on only the highest trait in each person's blend.
Beware of making absolute statements. In conversation, I say that people tend to_____, generally_____, or often do_____. In the interest of simplicity, I left most of those qualifying statements out of this lens.
So, read through this lens for an overview and then bookmark it for later reference.
I hope that you enjoy applying this information, and that this brings more harmony into your life. I've also included a link list with links to some of my other related lenses.
For even more insights to build better connections with other people, check the lenses that represent your secondary styles as well. (To get a better view of your behavioral style blend, complete a DISC personality test.)
Just for reference purposes, I have included the DISC Model overview here.
For more detail see these lenses:
The DISC Model
Connecting With People
Recognizing Dominant People
They are Outgoing and Task-Oriented
These people are probably very different from you. They are fast-paced and task-oriented. They tend to focus on results more than on relationshipsLook for them to speak at a fast-pace and directly. Expect them to move fast and to make decisions quickly. They probably will not "beat-around-the-bush."
If you don't have much of this style, they may seem aggressive to you. Don't take this as a sign that they don't like or appreciate you. They may like you very much. They're just focused on results, and often don't worry with "niceties" in conversation. They will like you more if they sense that you will get results.
They need:
- Choices
- Challenge
- Control
Tips For Communicating With Dominant People
They want to know WHAT. They focus on RESULTS.
- Speak confidently and assertively. Look them in the eye and speak directly to the point.
- Answer their challenges without withdrawing. Remember that people with high D tendencies often show their interest by challenging. If they don't challenge you, they are probably not interested in what you have to say.
- Stay engaged with them. If you withdraw or shutdown, they may develop a negative perception of you. They don't want a fight. They do want assertive interaction.
Recognizing Inspiring People
They are Outgoing and People-Oriented
These people are similar to you because they are people-oriented. However, they are outgoing (fast-paced). They probably speak, move, and decide faster than you do naturally. They love to have fun and to interact with other people. You will probably connect easily.Look for them to speak at a fast-pace and light-heartedly. Expect them to move fast and to make decisions quickly. They might not speak directly, and they may interact on a close, personal level by sharing stories or asking about your family.
They need:
- Recognition
- Approval
- Popularity
Tips For Communicating With Inspiring People
They want to know WHO. They want you to LIKE THEM.
- Gently keep the meeting focused. Help them stay on track with the main purpose of the conversation.
- Stay engaged so that they feel that you like them. Similar to people with strong D traits, they often evaluate others by the level of interaction or engagement they receive during a discussion.
- Since you are both people-oriented, you will probably connect with how they feel about things. Remember to look them in the eye and smile during your conversation. They really need positive feedback from you.
Recognizing Supportive People
They are Reserved and People-Oriented
These people are just like you. They focus on relationships and feelings more than on tasks and data. They dislike direct confrontations and making quick decisions.Look for them to speak rather slowly and softly. Expect them to use gentle gestures and to make decisions slowly.
They tend to value family and relationship above everything else. They may evaluate you based on how you treat others. This will probably be your easiest connection.
They need:
- Security
- Assurance
- Appreciation
Tips for Communicating With Supportive People
They want to know HOW. They focus on PACE and PEACE.
- Offer reassurance and appreciation. Like you, they want to know that they appreciate and accept them.
- Beware of letting the conversation get off track. Help them stay focused on accomplishing the purpose of your meeting.
- Show gentle confidence. Lead the meeting, if necessary, to keep things moving forward. After discussion, they often appreciate having someone else make the final decision as long as everyone's feelings are considered fairly.
Recognizing Cautious People
They are Reserved and Task-Oriented
These people are like you in that they are reserved. They are a little different from you in that they are more task-oriented. This may be your secondary style.They want data and facts not emotions and feelings.
Look for them to speak in a slower, monotone style. Expect them to move cautiously and to make decisions slowly. They may want more information and validating sources (websites, references, etc.) before making a decision. They tend to speak factually and in measured tones. They generally do not like for people to get too close to them.
Beware of reading their body language and tone to indicate that they do not like you. They don't usually show much emotion on the surface. Just give them some space and time to think.
They need:
- Quality Answers
- Value
- Excellence
Tips for Communicating With Cautious People
They want to know WHY. They focus on DATA and FACTS.
- Answer their questions. Their questions don't indicate that they don't appreciate you. They just need information.
- Show confidence in you presentaion. Like D's, they also look for confidence.
- They may be a little skeptical of new information. Show them some validating information (reports, graphs, websites, surveys, etc.) and they will probably be ok with you.
The Most Important Thing You Need to Know
You have the most common primary behavioral style. More people are like you than any other style. When you show confidence, people who are different from you will better appreciate what you have to say. Your quiet confidence can create peace.
Other Relevant Lenses
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Personality Profile Tests For All Ages
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Personality Assessments provide objective and descriptive rather than subjective and judgmental ways to understand our behaviors and behaviors of other people. Taking an online personality assessment gives you the opportunity to learn more about your...
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4 Sure Fire Steps to Connecting With People
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Connecting with other people is the first step in building a relationship with them. Whether you meet people at a business networking meeting, the grocery store, or in your office; you have to connect with them to build a working relationship with th...
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Connecting With People Better
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Connecting with people can often be a challenge. This challenge increases when we attempt to connect with people who are significantly different from us. When you learn a few key communication tips and insights, you can connect with people much more...
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Introduction to the DISC Human Behavior Model
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Your leadership style, communication style, and parenting style are heavily influenced by your personality style. The same is true for other people. How you communicate with people, build relationships, raise your kids, network at business meetings,...
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How to Build Rapport With Other People
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Rapport is the deepest level of relationship, and different people move from initial connection to rapport in different ways. Since different people reach rapport by different routes, your success at building rapport with someone can be somewhat hit-...
More Relevant Lenses
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How to Have More Fun When You Interact With Others
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If you communicate in a friendly, light-hearted way; this lens is for you. If this description fits you, you probably want to have fun when you interact with other people. You probably feel frustrated when other people do not engage with you. In thi...
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Five Ways to Become a Great Listener
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Great leaders. Great parents. Great supervisors. Great team members. They are all great listeners. Lots of people are great at hearing. Fewer people are great listeners. Listening is a skill, and skills can be learned. Learn great listening skills b...
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High Value Communication Skills
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If you communicate in a factual, unemotional manner; this lens is for you. You probably like for people to communicate with you in a logical and straight-forward fashion. You may get frustrated when they do not deliver high value communication with y...
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Get Better Results From Your Communication With Others
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If you communicate in a direct, bottom-line manner; this lens is for you. You probably want to get immediate results from your interactions. You probably get frustrated when other people do not produce results quickly. This lens contains communicati...
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The Coach - A Leadership Book Written As A Story
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I am passionate about leadership and leadership development. I believe that the health of businesses, non-profits, classrooms, sports teams, and families all hinge on the quality of their leadership. Using a story based approach, I have described key...
Positive Principles Newsletter
Fetching RSS feed... please stand byLinks to Other Sites With FREE Resources
- Principle Driven Consulting
- My website.
- FREE DISC Profile
- A FREE DISC Personality Teest to get an estimate of your personality style.
- JJ Communications
- My friend and colleague in Canada. JJ is a body language and interview specialist.
Recommended Reading
Positive Personality Profiles: Discover Personality Insights to Understand Yourself and Others
Amazon Price: (as of 12/28/2009) 
Sell Naked On The Phone
Amazon Price: (as of 12/28/2009)
How to Win Friends & Influence People
Amazon Price: $10.20 (as of 12/28/2009)
Silver Boxes: The Gift of Encouragement
Amazon Price: (as of 12/28/2009)
Your Thoughts? Feedback? Comments?
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Reply
- RelativePerspectives RelativePerspectives Jun 26, 2009 @ 1:07 pm
- Thanks for the wise and wonderful communication tools. Great website too. In my opinion, 5 stars for Peace!
Relative Perspectives
JN
by recoveringengineer
Hi, my name is Guy Harris. I am a trainer, speaker, author, and consultant. I am a certified human behavior specialist and a workplace conflict re... (more)
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