Timeless Communication Habits: Mining Experiences & Relationships for Performance

1. Tap into timeless, universal communication habits that will ignite your performance in work and life.

2. Learn simple, natural habits for mining your experiences and relationships for nuggets of insights that lead to performance.

The last 15 years of my research, writing and consulting has been dedicated to developing simple, practical practices that people can use to enhance their performances in the workplace and other areas of their lives. The habits and skills of story-based forms of communication have been studied in light of how they effect interactions in all facets of our lives.

Based on award-winning research, Nine Story-Based Communication Skills are used to construct a simple, workable framework that encapsulates behaviors we are engaged in all of the time. When these behaviors are focused with a story lens it creates a profound breakthrough in how we share, process, and take in information.

INTERACTION RING
Describes how we use stories to connect with others and communicate.

1. Modeling
Being aware of ones actions and using them to create lasting impressions in the eyes of others. Employing a variety of analogical techniques to bring an idea or concept alive.

Some examples...
I spontaneously use or create analogies to help people connect with me or with the information that I am sharing.
I make room for back-and-forth exchanges in communicating with others to jump start the generation of new meaning.
I acknowledge others for the contributions they make.
I validate others' experiences.

2. Telling
Relaying a story with authenticity that paints a vivid, engaging picture for listeners.

Some examples...
I use anecdotes when I communicate.
I vary the tone and volume of my voice when I communicate.
I allow others to interject their own thoughts and experiences during a conversation.
I invite my listeners to interact with me by adding details, anticipating the direction of the conversation, and contributing comments.

3. Selecting
Picking a story that is appropriate to the situation at hand and that clearly communicates concepts, ideas, or feelings.

Some examples...
I can always find a relevant experience to share.
The experiences I share add to the conversation.
I can find experiences to share that communicate who I am.
I can find experiences that resonate with my listeners.

PROCESS RING
Describes how we work with experiences to transform them into meaningful and reusable stories.

4. Indexing
Developing a flexible, vast, mental schema for retrieval of experiences, and knowledge.

Developing a flexible, vast, mental schema for retrieval of experiences, and knowledge.

Some examples...
I find myself thinking about what I learned from my experience.
I can identify life experiences that have contributed to the development of my values, beliefs, and attitudes.
I am aware of my values, beliefs, and attitudes and how they shape my understanding of new information and experiences.
I share past experiences with others to help them understand my worldview.
I reflect and assess situations as they are occurring.
I review with circumspection my interpretations of what I hear and see around me.

5. Synthesizing
Finding patterns in new experiences and creating connections between them and old ones.

Some examples...
I see interrelationships between all of my experiences.
I make sense of new situations by actively searching and extracting knowledge from previous experiences.
I use my experiences to develop new and lasting wisdom.
I use other people's experiences to develop new and enduring wisdom and insight.
I connect my insights from one domain of activity to another.
I search my mind for similar past experiences to help me make sense of novel situations.
I search my mind for previous experiences to help me to see new and different possibilities in present situations.

6. Reflecting
Reviewing experiences with circumspection and extracting knowledge from them.

Some examples...
I review my experiences to learn from them.
I relive the thoughts and emotions of my experiences.
I consider my experiences without judging them.
I consider my experiences without interpreting them.
I am open to learning from my experiences in new and different ways.
I consciously work to understand my experiences in as many ways as possible, which results in a rich variety of insights.
My current actions are influenced by my insights.

THE CORE
Describes how we open ourselves to be aware and sensitive to stories.

7. Eliciting
Asking questions and finding ways to pull stories from others.

Some examples...
I encourage others to share their personal and professional experiences.
I seek to create a climate of sharing.
I am willing to be vulnerable with others.
I tell my experiences to others in ways that encourage them to be open with me.
I help others to recall their experiences by rephrasing questions.
I help others to recall their experiences by mirroring their language.

8. Listening
Absorbing stories and invoking the imagination to enter them in a fundamental and deep way.

Some examples...
I paraphrase the statements of others as a way of confirming what they are communicating to me.
I paraphrase the statements of others as a way of validating what they are communicating to me.
I ask questions to clarify that I am accurately hearing what others are saying.
I ask follow-on questions to better understanding information that is being communicated.
I refrain from making premature decisions about the value, importance, or quality of another person's experience.
I try to see situations and experiences from the eyes of others.

9. Observing
Practicing mindfulness to become aware of the stories implicit in others' words and actions.

Some examples...
I care about the success of the people around me.
I have a strong sense of my own strengths.
I have a strong sense of my own weaknesses.
I am sensitive to the energy, moods, and thoughts of others.
I purposefully review the details of my interactions with others.

* Discover your natural communication skills and start putting them to work
* Build stronger and quicker working relationships
* Convey your thoughts, ideas, and feelings with clarity, confidence, and sincerity
* Process verbal information with greater speed and accuracy
* Reduce confusion, frustrations, and misunderstandings when communicating with others
* Negotiate differences with poise and openness
* Work more collaboratively with others to achieve better results
* Increase your visibility and respect in the organization by strengthening your listening skills
* Reduce reactive and negative exchanges with others
* Maximize your awareness and sensitivity to others and your environment

OUR ASSESSMENT AND SELF-DEVELOPMENT EXERCISES WILL
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* Provide You With Strategies for Taking in Verbal Information
* Show you how to break verbal communications into three channels of information (content, emotion, intention)
* Increase your powers of observation
* Engage people communicating with you to increase your understanding

TECHNIQUES FOR INTERPRETING THE INFORMATION YOU HEAR
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* Create a mental picture of what you hear
* Relate what you hear with your experiences
* Sort through the interpretations you generate from listening to others
* Draw more reliable conclusions to guide your response to others and interactions

COMMUNICATE WITH CLARITY, CONFIDENCE AND SINCERITY
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* Selecting the right words
* Finding good experiences and examples to share with others
* Hear what you will say before you say it
* Use compelling language and examples to paint a vivid picture of what you want to communicate
* Speak with your actions as well as your words

Stories fold in and out of themselves to reveal subtle worlds of meanings, purpose, and connections.

They are gentle transporters bound by time but that travel beyond the boundaries of what we have experienced at any given point in time.

Stories free us to move through a landscape of change. We leave the dusty road of the familiar and embrace a void where we can find the freedom to chose and perceive new realities and project worlds of our own making.

Stories can either crush illusions we have become enslaved to due to habit or they can lift our veils of fear and familiarity and give us a glimpse of new ways of being. Here we will find a place where we can be our unique selves while in communion with others.
Terrence L. Gargiulo

For more information Terrence Gargiulo's ground breaking research on story-based communications skills be sure to visit his website:

http://www.makingstories.net