Unstoppable Speakers

All speaking, except those moments when you talk only to yourself, is public speaking. Every time you talk to somebody- your husband or wife, parents or children, you colleagues, friends, strangers and even enemies, is public speaking. The truth is, the principles of public speaking, be it for one-on-one or one-to-one million are the same.

Aristotle, in his book Nichomachian Ethics, claimed that there are three parts of communication. I mentioned Aristole for the hope that it will make me sound more erudite. He said that the three parts of communication are Ethos, Pathos, Logos.

Ethos refers to the character of the person. The most important element in communication is You. Your credibility and your believability dictate whether people will listen or not to what you say. You may not speak so much, but people listen to your every word because they trust you, they respect you. This reminds me of Mo. Theresa who speaks so little, but her few and simple words comfort the dying and inspire the living.

When you see yourself as small, no matter how big your words are, the world will see your message as small and unimportant. When all of your attention is focused on how to make great impressions with your words, your grammar, and your actions for fear that people will judge you less, you become small.

Examine your character. Know the real you.. You are a king. You are unique.

You are important. You have a message to tell. You are salt and light.

The second is pathos. Pathos refers to your compassion with the audience. Touch the emotion of your audience. You may be able to preach the whole encyclopedia on leadership, but if you won't be able to touch their emotions, communication will not happen.

What's in it for me? Provide the answer to that question. When you speak to another person or group of persons, always remember that these people have needs. Like most of us, they are hurting too. Man needs nurturing. Man needs guidance. Man needs freedom. Man needs security. And most of people, if you want them to listen to you, man must feel that you really care.

Do you know why I use gestures, facial expressions, and body movements? And why I give you those notes? That's because I love you. I love those who are visual learners among you who learn better when they see something. And I change the tone, pace, the volume, and pitch of my voice, because I love those auditory learners among you who learn better when they like what they hear. And I want you to write and move because I love those kinesthetic learners among you who likes to move and learns through action. You are one of the major reasons why I am standing here. Have compassion towards your audience. Listen to them, serve their needs, and they will listen to you.

The third is Logos. Logos refers to the content, the factual content of your speech. Among the three elements, this is the least important. Most people, especially those with low-esteem and those who don't care so much about their audience, focused on this element. Your logos supports your message. You should not neglect them. You can provide statistics, stories, anecdotes, and other concrete examples to establish the reasons of your message. Though least important, we should never, never, never sacrifice our logos. Logos provides structure and direction.

I think it is stupidity to worry about speaking in public. Not that those who are afraid to speak are stupid, but the very idea itself sounds illogical to me. This does not mean that I was never afraid to speak in public. I have my share of stupidity too!

But the idea that we are all Imago Dei, that is, we are all created in the image of God made me think that to be afraid to speak in front of people is some sort of an insult to the Creator. If we are created in the image of God, then every opportunity to speak must be a celebration of our creation.

I know that some people are afraid to speak because they are afraid to make mistakes. They are afraid to look "stupid" in front of people. They are afraid that they will fall short of the expectations. One time I heard that it is better to shut up and let the people think that you are stupid, than to speak and leave no doubt about it. That seems logical.

But in a second glance, something is wrong with that. It assumes that our idea about our being ill-equip, our being "stupid" is true. It affirms our low self-esteem and keeps us from celebrating the miracle in us, the beauty in us, the Imago Dei in us.

I hope I make sense to you now. If not, it is fine with me. This is a journey, and I know you will soon understand. Or that I will soon learn to express myself to you even more clearly.

For now, I just want you to celebrate your being you. You are beautiful. You are the greatest miracle.

Have you ever noticed that we see what we expect to see?

Our values, beliefs, and thoughts create what we see and do, which determine the result we get. The results in turn, confirm our beliefs and thoughts. They become self-fulfilling prophecies.

We go through life seeing what confirms our mental models and ignoring what Contradicts them. If we can't ignore conflicting information, we will reinterpret it, or twist it so that it is more consistent with our mental models.

There is nothing sinister in this. It's completely natural. Our subconscious works hard to avoid what psychologists call cognitive dissonance-feelings of acute discomfort and confusion which arise when a deeply held value or belief is challenged.

Our values, beliefs, and thoughts combine to guide our actions and communications and to determine the results we get.

I have Raul in mind.

Raul (not his real name) sought my help four months ago. He is a director of a government agency. Part of his job is to deliver inspirational messages to the employees so they will become more motivated public servant.

Raul is an expert in his field. I have observed that he has lots of content (substance) in his messages. However, most of the times, people find him boring. He speaks in a monotone. His voice is very soft , and sometimes inaudible. He does not use gestures and does not show facial expressions.

I asked Raul some questions and found out the following.

a. He does not speak loud enough because he found that his soft voice is very effective when conversing with his clients (especially the angry ones) one on one.
b. His teachers taught him that it is not good to be loud and to call attention to oneself.
c. He does not use gestures because he is not used to it. In his words, "when I used gestures I feel like I am acting-it is not me."
d. He does not show facial expressions because of the nature of his work-also he was trained that way since he was young.
e. He believes that he is not meant for public speaking that he had been avoiding every chance of delivering speeches.

I impressed on him that changing some of his beliefs must be his first step into becoming a better communicator. His single step into a journey of a thousand miles.

We examined his beliefs, thoughts, and values. The clearing process was not easy as it involved revealing himself to me. However, we cannot change our results if we will not muster the courage to change some of our values, beliefs, and thoughts.

Confidence in communication begins inside us.

How confident are you?

I just had a short conversation with an HR manager. She said that they are planning to build a toastmasters club in their company. As to when, she was not sure. She said that the employees wanted to be confident first before joining toastmasters.

I told her that one of the purposes of toastmasters is for its members to gain confidence in communication. You will not read from its manuals that you have to be confident first before you can join the organization.

I think this mistaken notion came from the idea that all toastmasters are confident and proficient speakers . Toastmasters are people from different walks of life. Some members are confident; some other members are not. They are, in every aspect, like you and me-all human beings. Some toastmasters gain confidence in weeks, others in years. Still some others, in decades. Why the last ones learned after decades? I suspect that they have the wrong idea that they were already great speakers. Really great speakers in Toastmasters keep on growing the last time I checked.

Yes, delivering speeches before a crowd like toastmasters may help you gain self-confidence. But don't think that a certain number of speeches will give you the confidence that you need. At best delivering speeches every week will widen your comfort zone.

Last week I shared that the best body language is authentic and natural. You know what, your body language also shows when you are confident. And the best way to build your self-confidence in public speaking is%u2026by being yourself.

For your body to communicate most effectively, your emphasis must be on the important message that you want to impart to your audience. My mentor Vic Santiago told me before that speaking is performance. I do agree. But more important than our performance is our message to our beloved audience. I used to tell my students that they must "speak to not to impress, but to express." I had to stress these words because I realized that their fear in public speaking came from their false idea that they must impress everyone-their teachers, their classmates, their friends, their parents, and maybe even their cats and dogs when they practice at home.

Confident gestures a confident speaker make. To express is bring out your thoughts and feelings and emotions; to express is to share yourself with your audience. When it is yourself that you share, people will see only the genuine and the confident you.

Someone told me that he was okay when communicating with friends and people known to him, or even to a small group of people. But he freezes every time he faces a large audience. I told him what I am telling you now. He is a confident communicator to his friends not because they are small in number. Number has nothing to do with confidence. It was when he is true to himself that he was confident. The only difference between a small audience and a big audience is that your gesture and body movements in big audience are projected. You need only to amplify your behavior when you speak before a large group.

It is easier said than done of course. Our software is a product of long brainwashing that to be confident we must be like to be someone else, copy his actions. We fear the judgment of the crowd that we act on what we though would pass their taste. But if that is true, we should have been confident by just imitating great speakers and leaders. The big irony is that really great speakers and leaders have told us that we must be ourselves if we are to bring out the best in us. We have been listening to the midgets.

Let your body speak for the confident you. Be yourself.

Every time I conduct my STAND UP! SPEAK OUT! workshop, I notice that many participants were struggling because of their wrong notions about communication. These misconceptions limit their professional and personal effectiveness. Let's discuss these misconceptions.

MEANINGS ARE NOT IN WORDS. I still remember how our teachers forced us to memorized English Words. One teacher made us look for five "new words" everyday, list all the definitions, and use them in sentences. One thousand words and five thousand sentences in a year--did not make us better communicators! No, I am against learning new words or new language. However, we cannot rely on words alone when it comes to communication.

Meanings are not in words. Your perception about the world is not the same as mine. Our experiences give colors and hues, life and meanings to words. And because your perception determines the meanings you attribute to words, in communication the message SENT is not necessarily the message RECIEVED. And for your listeners, real communication is the communication they recieved.

When I was still a young teacher, I taught in the manner I "learned" from my teachers--through words. When I asked my students, "Do you understand?", they all nodded their heads in affirmation. Examination results, however, told another story.

If you want to become a better communicator, examine if you are a master of your words or a slave to them.

MORE COMMUNICATION IS NOT ALWAYS BETTER. Too much talking is dangerous to your communication health.

There are people who believe talking more is better. I observed that some speakers have too much love for the sound of their voices that they glued the mike to their hands and rooted themselves on the podium. I also meet this kind of people even in a very disciplined club of Toastmasters. Some, after my evaluation, confessed that they have so much to say the audience need to hear them all to understand their message. However, the audience got bored, irritated, and I believe recieved another message--the speaker does not know how to manage his time, the contenct of his message, and himself.

Yes, more communication is not always better. Sometimes, more communication (or talking) makes matter worst. Observe where most people find themselves when they just keep talking about their problems. Greater problems, right? Sometimes, it is much better to stop talking. Overtalking is noise.

Be silent. Listen.

NO SINGLE PERSON OR EVENT CAUSES ANOTHER REACTION. Observe how many reactions you will get from people by saying the following words: I LOVE YOU. I guess, the reaction will vary from one recipient to another. Just like the first misconception above, some people believe that the the words they say, or their actions, cause another person's reaction. Whatever we do, or say, simply contribute to how other people react. Since communication is transactional--a two-way traffic-- we cannot claim that we are the stimulus to another's reaction. When you say something that hurts them, you cannot say that "you" hurt them. The persons recieving your message, as I said in the first misconception above, have big control over the meaning of your message.

COMMUNICATION WILL NOT SOLVE ALL PROBLEMS. Mag-usap kayo (Talk to each other). I always hear this advice in solving problems between people. I agree that communication helps in solving problem. However, it is best to bear in mind that communication will not solve all problems. Problems of people are not only caused by miscommunication.

I was once asked by a teacher why one student failed in my class (Algebra). I explained to her all the reasons: zero in assignment, incomplete quizzes, and failed exams. I reminded her also that we had been consulting the students' parents and I had been talking to the student to refrain from cutting classes. The teacher appealed for my "generosity." Then she appealed to the Principal, then to the Dean of the school. Both invited me to their offices and made me explain. Both appealed for my "generosity." The parents are generous to the school.

Communication will not solve all problems. World peace could have been attained if it were so.

COMMUNICATION IS NOT A NATURAL ABILITY Yes, no one is born a natural communicator. Though it is natural for man to speak, to relate with one another, the ability to do so is a product of experience and training.

I learned that many participants in STAND UP! SPEAK OUT! workshop thought that some great speakers are natural. They are outgoing and intelligent. On the contrary, various researches have shown that many great speakers/communicators are introverts, and that intelligence grow with the ability to communicate.

One time a friend, a manager of a big company, told me that he could not understand why he became a manager. He was afraid to speak in public and he avoided every situation that would make him speak in public. I replied," I think that is why you are a manager. If you were not avoiding those opportunities to represent your company, you could have been one of the VP's now."

by Jef Menguin, ATMG/CL

What are the benefits of effective impromptu speaking skills?

* Improve oral expression of thought
* Develop confidence in public speaking
* Think quickly on your feet
* Develop leadership and communication skills

Techniques to Delivering a Better Impromptu Speech

The following techniques can help to give you more confidence in giving impromptu speeches and that will in turn reduce any nerves or butterflies you might have at the time.

1. Give yourself time to prepare. Take deep breaths. Rise slowly from your chair and walk slowly to the lectern (or stand behind and away from your chair). Use this time to collect your thoughts and decide on the purpose and plan of your speech. Think about the opening sentence.

2. Feel confident. Look around at audience and smile. Stand tall. Don't slump, don't fidget, don't grasp the lectern, don't put your hands in your pockets. Speak and act in a confidently.

3. Pace your delivery. Give yourself time to think ahead. Speaking slowly will give the audience time to absorb and react to what you are saying. It also helps you reduce umms and ahhs.

4. Focus. Keep the focus on the subject while talking. Don't think of any negatives (eg being unprepared). Talk directly to the audience and adapt to their feedback. Maintain good eye contact with the audience .Be brief and to the point. Don't ramble or say too much on the subject. And speak at the audience's level.

5. Observe logical speech structure - Opening, Body and Conclusion

An impromptu speech is simply a mini-speech and therefore it has an Opening, a Body and a Conclusion.

Opening. Open by addressing the Chairman or Master of Ceremonies

Example: Mister/Madam Chairman

Brief introduction/opening sentence - Use attention getting sentences. You may pose questions, recite a famous quotation or a poem.

Body .Cover the main points (Try to establish one central theme). Use clearly worded simple sentences and try to link the points.

Conclusion. Be brief and look for an elegant closing that links back to the opening. End by acknowledging the Chairman or Emcee

6. Sources of Content

Personalize. Audience can relate more easily to personal topics - they probably have similar experiences.

Your opinion.

Humour. This breaks the ice with the audience and relaxes you.

Current events, something you have read or seen (newspaper, book, TV), knowledge of pertinent facts

IMPORTANT: There is a good chance that you will be unexpectedly called upon to give an impromptu speech at a meeting. Try and pre-empt possible topics that may arise, such as those from current events or contentious issues. Have an emergency speech available.

Inform, Influence, Inspire Any Audience, Anytime, Anywhere

How often have you admired and envied those who speak before groups with such ease and confidence? Do you find yourself wishing that you had the talent to motivate, persuade, and hold the attention of a group?

You can have it: confident speaking is not strictly for talented naturals or geniuses or loud people. Speaking is for everyone who has a message to impart; a purpose to fulfill, and an idea to sell. You will learn in this workshop the three secrets to successful speaking and the many techniques and methods based on them that will have you off the sidelines and standing up with ease and confidence!

Plus, this workshop presents you with special advantages not available in any other training course: the principles and practices presented are based on the careful study and rich experience of the facilitator in his years of actual practice in teaching, mentoring, and training!

No matter how much you doubt your own speaking abilities, you will amaze yourself with these principles, tips, and techniques that will help you make effective presentations in any situation, from one-on-one discussions to speeches before large groups!

Yes, you can speak with confidence!

WHAT YOU'LL LEARN?

Three Secrets to Speaking Success
This workshop is founded on the three principles common among superstar speakers and competent communicators. Most people violate one, two, or all of these principles. These three secrets to successful and confident speaking serve as the foundation of the rest of the workshops.

You've Got to be Confident--Hiding Yourself Is Not an Option
You are confident when you trust your own abilities, have a general sense of control of your life, and believe that, within reason, you shall. This workshop will show you the logical steps to build your self-confidence and to increase your self-esteem.

You Can Converse With Ease--And Avoid Miscommunication
It is possible that most of your public speaking assignments are within your organization or company. It may not be too difficult especially when your organization is already within your comfort zone. It is also equally possible that you will be invited outside your comfort zone.
How do you strike a conversation with a stranger? Learn easy steps from this workshop

You Can Think on Your Feet--and Walk Away Smiling
You don't have to be a genius to shine or even make sense during interviews, Q&A, emergency meetings, and cold calling clients. The three secrets to successful speaking and the techniques in handling impromptu situations will bring out the best in you. You will learn from the exercises and feedback that Jef Menguin will provide. You can speak with clarity, coherence, and conviction.

You Tell and Show Me%-- Understanding Audience Differences
Each audience is unique. You must know your own speaking style, the styles of different types of audience members, and how to adjust to each for better communication.

Wow and Wee - And the Voice of Confidence
You will explore several techniques for adding vocal and visual variety to your speaking. Goodbye monotone. Hello confident speaker.

You Can Do It - Preparation and Practice
You will present various kinds of information from the beginning until the end. If you intend to attend just to watch Jef speak, you will surely be delighted. But don't blame him if you will not learn. Learning is change in behavior, eliminating maladaptive techniques, and developing new skills. The workshop is based on learning by doing, and having fun while learning. Come and watch yourself learning the skills you wanted to gain.

You Can Inspire Them - Bring Them to Your Good Sense
Ultimately, the goal of communication is share with people your concern, your love, and your self. Beyond this workshop, you will be encouraged to make good use of the speaking skills you will learn here. Yes, you can change the world. Joining this workshop is just part of it.