Should I Stay or Go

If you are not sure whether to stay or go, chances are good you may be settling. So many times the signs are there, but we ignore them. We feel the distance, or the hurt for words not said, endearing things that are no longer done. We settle. Often we try to move the relationship ahead with words, complaining, sometimes even pleading. We spill our hearts and things get better for a while but it is often short lived. The cycle continues.

Is this as good as it gets? I don't think so. What does it feel like to be adored? What does it feel like to not have the doubts and insecurities and to just know? How good would it feel to go through a day without wondering where is this going? Surely something better is out there, but to have the courage to go after it is so much easier said than done.

We fear the unknown and if we walk away from our comfort zone, we feel stark naked and vunerable in the unknown. Is the comfort zone the best place for you though? I think that sometimes we have to take chances and make changes. The universe is a big place and perhaps or more like probably there is something better waiting for us around the corner. If you truly are the one he can't stand to lose, he will come after you. He will go to the ends of the earth to find you. How would that feel? Wouldn't it be better to know the truth now so you can begin to live it.

I started a support group for women struggling through a break up. That group lives by the rule of no contact. There are hundreds of women there, they come and go. The truth of the matter though is that by going through this break up and remaining in no contact, the women begin to realize that they were only getting crumbs and the whole pie was always out of their reach. The men in their lives held onto the whole pie and just tossed out crumbs which they picked up and scarfed down like starving children in a foreign country. So you decide, do you want crumbs or the whole pie? Below I will share some comments. Some alterations have been made to protect the ladies privacy. Know that you are not alone.

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

Make a promise to yourself right here and now and do something different so that you get different results!

Be the atomic bomb in his life.

Give him silence.

If he truly loves you it will bring him to his knees and you will see a difference and get results.

If he does not love you, then you will know it.

He will not react to your silence and you will be freed to move on.

Don't you want to know this now so that you can start to live your life and find someone who deserves you and will treat you the way you deserve to be treated?

That's what we all want for you.

That's what we know is around the corner for you if you stand up for yourself.

Melinda

We have always been able to work things out but he does not change

Did you read what you just wrote ? HE DOES NOT CHANGE.

Why do you want to go back to THAT ?

Is not calling him going to make a difference?
I think I answered this on the thread you started. It depends on if you want to go back to a guy who disappeared on you !? Is back with HER - whether something or nothing is going on with her physically is irrelevent. He moved back in with her !!!

Sweetie, it is time to make a stand...and get this man out of your life..... a life you have given him control over.

Take that control back.... until you can control your emotions.... go INTO NO CONTACT

Cassie Joe

In a nutshell, No Contact puts the whole relationship in prospective either party can not gain being close in time, distance and pressured by the outcome.
It also works backwards for men and women.
Women go through the hardest times in the beginning of NC, while men wake up about the time we are over them.
The old saying applies here: "If you love something let it go. If it was yours it will come back to you."
If a man loves you and you were wrong in letting him go, he will find you even if you are in the rice fields of China. We call that moving mountains.
If he doesn't truly love you, he won't look for you. He will forget you. I know that hurts the most but it also allows you to move forward and be available to the man who will love you the way you deserve to be loved.

Betty

This is just a few of the many supportive posts in this group. It has been in existance since July. I have watched many women stay strong and move onto happier lives when they decided not to settle in life and go after what they deserved. I have watched as they transform right before my eyes. Amazing, but you have to take that first step and say those words, "Consider me gone".

I recently read a book that is in the link below. I am not putting it's title here because the book is about so much more than the title suggests. It's about not settling and it outlines how to get what you want out of your life and a relationship. It is truly amazing and moving. There is no sugar coating in this book, but a lot of straight talk dotted with humor. It is a book to live by if you are single, dating, or in a relationship. Angie and Lisa said it best in their thank yous to the author of this book.

Thanks to Nicole Gayle for helping me so much...since I have started reading her books/emails, I understand myself and men better and she makes me have a laugh on the way! Amazing...Lots of love Angie

Thank you Nicole, you have passion and sense of humour which I dont see in other authors...Thanks to you I am remembering the old confident funny girl I used to be(before love knocked me down). I am so grateful to Caroline for refering me to you! xxx :)

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Lisa