Coping with stress and self help systems

In today's busy and hectic life, it seems stress (anxiety) is an excepted state most of us live with.
While, to some it may be motivating and a driving force, for most, stress is something we do not welcome nor enjoy.
Learning to cope with stress can be stressful in itself. In this article I will explain how stress manifests itself and how, using 5 simple steps, you can help yourself in coping with stress.

Before I carry on, please let me explain.
I firmly believe there are basically 2 types of stress.
1. Underlying Stress
2. Immediate Stress

Underlying Stress:
This type of stress is with us every hour of every day.
It is the type of stress we feel due to situations that affect our lives all the time and we may not have any control over.
As an example, the current economic downturn generally is a stressful situation we all find ourselves in today.
Will we, as a Nation, recover from this?
Will we ever see the good times return when money seemed abundant and times were good for most of us? Or will we continue to financially struggle for years to come?
Or we hear of a major disaster somewhere in the World.
We are naturally concerned for the people that are affected even though personally we do not know them.
So "Underlying Stress" is background stress and no matter what we do, we will always be affected by it. If we didn't, we wouldn't be Human.

Immediate Stress:
This type of stress is very personal and the most intense we will experience.
This is the type of stress we feel when the Boss asks for a report NOW!
You know that it is not ready
Or the type of stress we feel when we arrive late for an important meeting.
We can easily identify this as being different to "Underlying Stress" as "Immediate Stress" has a sudden impact and as quickly as it appears, it can disappear once certain mental states change.
As an example, Your Husband/Wife calls you on the phone to tell you they have just crashed the car. Immediately your stress levels rises as you panic about your partner's safety. After hearing their voice and knowing they are safe, the stress levels then lower.
So immediate stress is very intense and very quick to affect us, however, as fast as it appears, it can then disappear.
As you can see from the diagram below, we have an "Underlying stress" level and then occasional busts of "Immediate stress" levels. Note how Immediate Stress levels peak but very quickly lower.



One of the first things many suffers have to face is actually recognising they are in-fact suffering from stress. This can be difficult for some people as they see this as a weakness and not a condition imposed on them.
Most of us like to think we can cope with anything that life throws at us, not letting pressures affect our general mental state. How wrong that is!
But we have to remember that in an idea life, stress would not exist. Why would we want to live in a World full of pressures if alternatively we could lived in a World where pleasure was the dominant force?

~ pressure to perform at work or at school
~ threats of physical violence
~ money worries
~ arguments
~ family conflicts
~ divorce
~ bereavement
~ unemployment
~ moving house
~ marriage

The everyday meaning of "stress" is being under too much pressure, usually from work or other commitments. It can have psychological and physical symptoms such as poor sleep, irritability and anxiety.

Now some people say they thrive on stress, personally, they can keep it. I hate the feeling of stress as I do not enjoy the symptoms that are associated with it.

So how can we cope with stress and is there a way to remove stress totally from our lives.
Well, totally removing stress from our lives is not realistic.
Some think that stress is a new condition, coming from the heighted life styles we live today. I question this as I am sure even "Caveman" had a stress in their lives.

So, if we can not remove it, how can we cope with stress?

Thankfully there are several effective ways in which we can cope with stress.
None of these are difficult and take no effort to try. None of the involve massage though this can be an option for some.

1My first recommendation is to actually being "TRUE" with yourself and be aware that you suffer from stress.
If you do not do this, you will never be able to cope with stress. Remember, stress is a condition of the lives we live and not a personal reflection of your own strengths and weaknesses

2 Find a friend to talk to. Just having a supportive ear for many is enough to begin to cope with stress. Sometimes just talking to a friend literally halves the stress we feel.
Now this is great if you both work together and you both feel stress from the jobs you do.
The same is sharing your feelings with a spouse or partner. You have to also remember, friends are there for the good times as well as the bad.
I like to think of this as a buddy system, were 2 people agree to support each other with problems they face and therefore halving the stress they feel.

3 Learn to take the 3rd Person approach. Sounds a bit unusual but this involves mentally stepping back from a situation and viewing it from someone else's eyes. If you can see yourself in a stressed state, you can then see what outside influences are affecting you and therefore look for ways to remove or disarm the stress.

4 Do exercise. Just by taking a walk can remove the stress we feel and is very effective.
Being Human we have instinctive responses to certain situations. One of those is an inbuilt response to danger. It's called "Fight or Flight".
You know the feeling when something happens and you feel sick and adrenaline seems to rush through your body. This is a natural reaction to danger.
In the past, if we were faced with danger, we could either run away or stay and fight
As the body prepares to "Fight", adrenaline is produced to act as a natural pain suppressant should we be injured. Adrenaline also heightens our senses making us quick to react.
Now I am not suggesting you should stand your ground and fight the situation that is giving you stress, I suggest using the "Flight" method to deal with the stress. Taking a walk gives the instinctive feeling we have, satisfaction that we are moving away from danger, therefore the adrenaline levels lower as we know we are not going to be fighting.

5 Take advice from the professionals. Yes you could go and see your Doctor who may advise you to join a self help group or may prescribe drugs to help.
Prescribed drugs can help, however, unless we find a way to remove the stress, taking medication only masks the problem. Once we are off the medication, the stressful situation is still there and can still be counted as a potential threat.
It's far better to totally remove the situation that gives us stress or find ways to naturally cope with stress. Medication can only help us to cope with stress while we find was to remove the stress.
For some, seeking professional help may not be the answer. Some may wish to try the self help processes.
There are several systems that have a real positive effect and Richard MacKenzie Direct is just one of the systems I have used personally and have found great benefit from using.

So let me summarize and add a few more points you should consider and remember.
1. Stress is a condition to situations we find ourselves in.
2. There are two stress states, "Underlying Stress" & "Immediate Stress"
3. To cope with stress we must firstly accept we are suffering from stress.
4. Coping with stress can be stressful
5. The feeling of "Fight or Fight" is a natural condition we all experience.
6. Coping with stress can be accomplished by following some simple steps.
7. Professional help can help but medication should only be a short term solutions
8. Self Help advise is available and I recommend Richard MacKenzie Direct

To learn more about coping with stress, please look out for my other pages soon to be published on Squidoo.

Here is a list of affordable stress relief systems I know of and I'll also give you a quick review of each. All you need to do is read and find the one that best suites you.

Richard MacKenzie Direct:
This is a great resource for self help Stress Management.
Richard also offers other self help systems such as "Stop Smoking", Slimming Hypnosis", "Anger Management" and more.
All these systems are downloadable in MP3 format so there's no waiting for CD's to be posted and to arrive.

Mind Sync
A little bit of a different approach from Mind Sync. They use meditation to help change your mindset thus giving you a different perspective on situations.
This again is downloadable directly from their website.

Conquer Stress
Chris Green gives you some excellent ways in coping with stress and anxiety.
I love this product and have read some excellent feedback from it.
Chris also gives some additional advise online and I would recommend you begin here.

Get 400 Breakthrough Stress Tips
This is an excellent book written by Gaynor McTigue.
Her book offers 400 top tips to help cope with stress in the World we live today.
I'd get it, print it out and keep it close to hand at all times. It's a real Gem!

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time; Enjoying one moment at a time; Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace.