Funeral Celebration

DEATH LEAVES A HEARTACHE DIFFICULT TO HEAL;
LOVE LEAVES SWEET MEMORIES NO ONE CAN STEAL.

The photograph was taken by Bo Fahrenbach
Sister Bay, Door County, WI.
July 6, 2007

The photo's title is 'Infinity'. Can you tell why? The infinity sign is naturally made with branches.

"Death is for infinity; love is forever."
Bo Fahrenbach

I have seen many of the following ideas at Celebrations of Life. They became special memories and keepsakes for the bereaved.

1) You can symbolically place an empty chair in the room or park before the ceremony begins. Some families place a photograph of the deceased on the chair.

2) If your loved one wrote poetry, created art, sang or played a musical instrument, you may want to include appropriate creations as a display, read his poem or sing or play his favorite music. Try for an upbeat and positive outlook.

3) To focus on life, consider making a memory table. This can hold remembrances of the deceased - favorite photos, perhaps organized in a photograph book or displayed on a cork board or bulletin board; momentoes from work, sports or hobbies; a special piece of clothing or a well-worn cap; awards or trophies. Add whatever else seems like a good idea.

4) Ask others to bring photographs too, especially copies that you can keep. Display these during the Celebration.

5) Take a candle walk at dusk.

6) BUTTERFLY WARNING: The practice of BUTTERFLY RELEASES is not recommended by The National Butterfly Association. The introduction of butterflies into the natural home of other butterflies can harm both groups, and the balance of nature can be affected to the detriment of the butterfly population.

8) Pass out pencils and note cards to everyone. Each card should have a writing prompt, such as "I remember the time when..." or "One of the things I loved best about..." Collect these at the end of the celebration for a family keepsake.

An empty chair faces those who come together for A Celebration of his Life:

A line of folks, each holding a candle lit with blessings of intimate thoughts,
wend their way through restful dusk into the garden, quiet in their memories;

A table holds remembrances of his happy life:
a golf ball sits on a nest of multi-colored tees;
bowling trophies stand in metallic casts, a highlighted trophy for his highest game - a 283;
there in front is his favorite fishing cap and a photo of him with the fish that didn't slip the hook;
at the center of the table, a studio photograph rests, one of him and his family which was taken several years ago, his arm around her back and the two daughters, all smiling wide into the camera;
love letters are wrapped in a black velvet ribbon carrying words written to her from Taipan during WWII;
a huge card from the celebration of his 75th birthday signed by dozens of well-wishers;
his drafting tools and silver pen he used for 40 years when he worked with blueprints and tool design.

The celebration and presence of the celebrants, those who loved him and those he loved,
are etched forever in the mind of the woman he left behind.

Healing tears of joy and sorrow streak her cheeks and all around everyone hugs each other in a burst of emotion.
Her doctor said time will lessen pain, but whatever the doc claims, his heart will always belong to her.

I hope your brief trip through my lens was beneficial. If I can encourage only a few of the funeral planners in the US to plan an affirming Celebration instead of a sombre service, my efforts writing this lens will be well-worth it.

If you found the idea of a Celebration of Life agreeable, you may want to borrow or purchase a book on planning. Write down when, where, who. Some ideas will appeal to you. Write down as much as you want. Then place them with a close relative or friend.

When the time comes, everyone will be able to plan smoothly for they will know your wishes. Much better to plan ahead rather than guess what the deceased wanted.