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So How Do You Cope? Do You Deal with Autism or Asperger Syndrome?

From the lens How I've Coped with Aspergers.

  • Atreyusmommy May 15, 2012 @ 1:31 pm | delete
    This is an amazing lens. I pinned it, shared it on facebook and also added it to my featured lens list on my lens called "Would you like to be part of a support circle for amazing moms and dads..." under Aspergers. Thank you so much for sharing this
  • GonnaFly Apr 26, 2012 @ 5:18 pm | delete
    Oh my. What an eye opener. Thanks so much for this very helpful lens.
  • bloomingrose Apr 25, 2012 @ 6:11 pm | delete
    Back to give this great lens an Angel blessed. I also pinned it to my Psychology board so that more people can find relief. I have a son with Asperger's and sometimes I just cannot help him.
  • andreaberrios Apr 12, 2012 @ 12:59 pm | delete
    My son was diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome. Very interesting lens and thanks for sharing your story! :)
  • Ashley Mar 29, 2012 @ 6:24 pm | delete
    I have AS my self and I tend to have facial and emotional problems: 1.) being that I'm very sensitive, I do tend to get more upset than excited. 2.) That I show my happy side around dogs,cats,and other animals instead of being around peers my age. 3.) That I shouldn't find a job while I'm in school (as a request by my psychologist). 4.) I'm mainly in the house unless I'm at school, gym,doctors office,or volunteering. 6.) Needing more alone time than most people
  • Einar_A Mar 18, 2012 @ 9:13 pm | delete
    I have always been "different" and have never had a desire to fit in or be what most people would call "normal," and I really appreciated your article. Your "Really, I Don't Get It, Say What You Actually Want" section made me smile, because those examples sounded so very familiar to me. Thanks!
  • JimDickens Mar 11, 2012 @ 10:09 pm | delete
    Yes I got it and have had it for over 60 years. Didn't know what to call it but now I do. I channeled some of the aspects into a career by using my literalness to program computers. There is no way to work around the social ineptness and discomfort so I just got kinda used to it. Eye contact is a false indicator of integrity if there ever was one. I like to focus on the eyebrow or nose
  • hotbrain Feb 1, 2012 @ 12:03 pm | delete
    Very helpful tips here! I don't have Asperger's but I have trouble with face recognition (prosopagnosia) and sometimes I struggle with social circumstances but not to the same extent. I've linked this lens on my lens about prosopagnosia because I think sometimes the two problems occur together and maybe it'll be helpful to my readers. I'm going to check out that peoplewatching book, it sounds interesting!
  • Paula7928 Jan 27, 2012 @ 10:14 pm | delete
    Great lens! I didn't know much about Aspbergers prior to reading it so it was very educational for me.
  • canoz Jan 18, 2012 @ 8:22 am | delete
    This is an amazing lens. So well put together and helpful. Very readable, interesting and educational. I have certainly learned a lot. Thank you.
  • sybelle Jan 3, 2012 @ 10:33 pm | delete
    It seems that I have gone through life not knowing I was "not normal". As I grow older and educate myself, many answers to life's mysteries get answered and the Gestalt, or enlightenment seems magical. "OH! SO THAT'S WHAT WAS GOING ON!"

    You just gave me one of those moments... I used to attribute it to my "being literal". As I read the part about hints, it dawned on me! I don't do well with hints! I always act upon other people's words for what they are, literally.

    The best example I have of this. I might have been 3 years old. My mom had to go shopping in town and while we were in the stores it had rained. As we walked home (small town) there were puddles on the sidewalks. At one point I stepped on a puddle. My mom said: "Oh, great, why don't you back and jump up and down in the puddle and get your nice white shoes and pretty dress all wet with the dirty water?"

    Yup, you guessed it. I was DELIGHTED on being given permission to mess up my shoes and dress for the sake of fun and, boy, by the time I was finished there was no puddle left! Given that we were in public and several people had stopped to watch, my mom had no choice but to join the spectator's laughter and delight. She learned real quick no to "give me permissions" like that anymore.

    Thanks for the eye opener. :)
  • sborg Dec 23, 2011 @ 12:44 am | delete
    This lens is priceless. As an NT, I desperately need to be educated by those who are living with and coping with Aspergers. I want to understand the good parts and the hard parts. Because, you see, I write, teach, parent, and counsel about Aspergers, and I seek to be a helpful coach and counselor to those on the autism spectrum. However, my true education in being helpful comes from learning from those who write about their experiences on the spectrum. Thank you!
  • EmmaLouiseB Dec 13, 2011 @ 12:48 pm | delete
    Another one of your lenses that is close to my heart. My best friend's two sons both have Aspergers and it can and has been extremely difficult; not just for us but for them too. Thank you for writing this lens I think it is extremely well made and full of useful information.
  • sockii Dec 11, 2011 @ 8:46 pm | delete
    Wonderful information and really well written. While I've known more than a few people in fandom through the years with AS, you've really explained many aspects of the condition I did not fully understand.
  • flycatcher Nov 30, 2011 @ 9:46 am | delete
    I have a friend with AS who I have known for many years now. Despite our long friendship, there are some aspects of his condition that I simply haven't been able to grasp until I read your lens. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
  • JoeCinocca Nov 23, 2011 @ 1:21 am | delete
    I've been told that I have symptoms of AS. Uncontrollable noise or loud yelling by people tends to trigger a type of "flight or flight" scenario for me. My neice has AS and is now in a private school and does the therapy routine. You are absolutely right about Autism groups and the lack of community for AS sufferers. I really appreciate you taking the time to talk about your condition. This definitely helped me understand more symptoms and some solid tips on what to do in the future.
  • Evelyn_Saenz Nov 21, 2011 @ 8:48 pm | delete
    Squid Angel blessed!
  • aesta1 Nov 14, 2011 @ 7:43 am | delete
    I don't know much about autism or asperger syndrome so I appreciate your lens and sharing. You have clearly outlined what I need to know. Blessed!
  • klaird Oct 27, 2011 @ 12:08 am | delete
    Great Lens! I know Amazon.com sells a variety of Facial Expression and Emotion Flashcards. You should add an Amazon module underneath your "Learning Facial Expressions" module that features some of these emotion flashcards for sale, since almost half of the people who have voted in your poll say they have Asperger's, they might want to buy some to help learn facial expressions as you suggested.
  • lakern26 Oct 15, 2011 @ 10:49 am | delete
    I've just learned that someone very near and dear to me has an Autism Spectrum Disorder. We weren't exactly surprised by the diagnosis --- we know that some behaviors don't come as naturally to him as they do with other people, some of which you've mentioned above. Unfortunately, without experiencing those problems ourselves, we're often at a loss as to how to help. Your insights here are invaluable. Thank you for being brave enough to share your story.
  • jetengine Oct 7, 2011 @ 11:12 pm | delete
    This has helped so much. I have asperger's. All
    my life I wondered WHAT IS WRONG with me. Social interaction became such a problem I would bring a book
    Or newspaper to a party so I would have something to do while I was being ignored. If someone actually greeted me I felt like saying " Hello. Do you come with a book of instructions ? Because I don't know what to do after Hello. Now I know why. I start therapy next week. I hope I can meet other Aspies. At last. People I can relate to.
  • nuestraherencia Aug 13, 2011 @ 11:35 am | delete
    Thank you for sharing your life with us. I believe that the best way for kids with autism to be "helped" not "changed", is to listen to the voices and views of adults with autism. Those who have been there. Those who truly know what it's like.
  • greenreviews Apr 17, 2011 @ 4:32 am | delete
    I have learned to cope with my NVLD kinda like how you described dealing with aspergers
  • LeanneChesser Apr 1, 2011 @ 10:32 am | delete
    I have blessed this wonderful and personal lens. Thanks for sharing your experience.
  • Yawapi Mar 31, 2011 @ 9:27 pm | delete
    Very well done, thank you!
  • darciefrench Mar 19, 2011 @ 9:59 pm | delete
    Dear Kylyssa- I can't thank-you enough for your writing. Your insights into the mind of a person with Aspergers are so valuable. What you say about avoiding eye contact because eyes are the windows to the soul is so familiar to me. I actually avoid socializing because I don't really want to know what's going on inside of most people- usually appearance and essence don't match up and I'm left with the truth of that. And it's true, if you avoid eye contact, people get paranoid and self-defensive. Perhaps Asperger's can function as a way of self-defense. I do hope you keep writing. I feel as if I have a friend in you.
  • Wednesday_Elf Mar 15, 2011 @ 9:55 am | delete
    Better late than never.... finally compiled my SquidAngel Lens from my 'angel flight' back in the Fall of 2010 :-) So.... returning to tell you that this lens has now been 'featured on' and 'lensrolled to' "SquidAngel Blessings by an Elf".
  • jamesnodturft Mar 14, 2011 @ 8:42 am | delete
    Great article! I will add that vocal intonation is a big, big issue. My son worked with a speech therapist on recording his voice and playing it back so that he knew what it sounded like. Often he sounds very rude without intending to. Just as you rehearse interactions, rehearsing vocal intonation can vastly, VASTLY improve relationships.
  • tandemonimom Jan 3, 2011 @ 9:06 am | delete
    My 15yo daughter was recently diagnosed with AS. She is a gifted artist - I guess it does explain why she's willing to sit and draw for a minimum of 6 hours each day ("willing to" should read "unable not to" LOL). Fortunately as an artist she studies faces and doesn't have quite as much trouble with reading expressions as you seem to, but her empathy and expressiveness are similar. Thank you for sharing your story.
  • dawnmichael Dec 16, 2010 @ 11:50 am | delete
    Kyllssa, this was a wonderful piece of work and I applaud you for it, being so easy to understand the way that you have written it. I want to also thank-you for the comments that you have left for me on the forum. I knew that you were a unique and special person by your comments, your questioning and your logic. My writing is emotional, personal and empathic and I could see you in your writing tying to understand it, hitting me with the logical/technical side which is more of my weakness. Your suggestions I take to heart and I appreciate them. I am looking forward to reading more of your articles and yes I do know and have worked with people with Aspergers syndrome and most have been duel diagnosis along with Tourettes syndrome.
  • nDee Dec 12, 2010 @ 10:52 pm | delete
    You have provided such valuable insight into Asperger Syndrome. Thank you so much for sharing your personal story.
  • GrowWear Oct 30, 2010 @ 12:28 am | delete
    Have only recently heard of Aspergers...in the last year or two, but this explains so much in the way of better understanding of our fellow man. If these techniques you use work, and I see no reason why they wouldn't, then people need to get in there and teach the diagnosed children. I agree with you; your life would have been much easier had you been taught theses things early.
  • jaktraks Oct 22, 2010 @ 2:11 pm | delete
    Excellent lens! Several of my clients have Aspergers so I know everyone with that diagnosis is unique - in spite of having similar perceptual challenges.
  • KarenTBTEN Oct 8, 2010 @ 1:27 am | delete
    Just stopping back by to give this valuable page a SquidAngel blessing.
  • kaazoom Oct 5, 2010 @ 11:15 am | delete
    Thank you for sharing your experience of having Asperger syndrome. I agree with you; doctors should have more understanding about what it is like to have the condition. You have described what it is like for you, which is so helpful those of us who don't have it. Thank you for giving us an insight into your world.
  • nenierhea Sep 27, 2010 @ 11:12 pm | delete
    Your lens caught my attention. I'm so glad that I learned a lot from this lens. I wonder If you also have taken vitamins and supplements before?
  • NarrowPathPublishing Sep 20, 2010 @ 3:10 am | delete
    Thank you for writing this lens. I have Asperger's, and I have a LOT of trouble with facial expressions and facial recognition. I live with my best friend who is not autistic but is definitely "outside the norm" and we get along pretty well, although she gets annoyed with my inappropriate facial expressions at times. I have trouble making other friends and do NOT do well at parties or places with lots of noise.
  • LisaAuch Sep 9, 2010 @ 10:09 am | delete
    My best friends child has diagnosed High end Autism, he is very bright and the proudest day was when he started P1 mainstream, he sure is Auntie Lisas' Cuddly Boy! I will send this over to my friend as inspiration for her. Thankyou
  • Wednesday_Elf Sep 4, 2010 @ 8:03 am | delete
    Your writing is outstanding and I truly admire you, not only using the written word to share your coping mechanisms for your Asperger Syndrome, but just generally sharing yourself to help others understand and cope. You've done a great service here by making people more aware of Asperger's. ~~Blessed by a SquidAngel~~
  • Craig Aug 29, 2010 @ 7:36 pm | delete
    Excellent lens! One trick I've learned for the eye contact issue is to focus on the spot just above and between the other persons eyes, where a "third eye" would be on their forehead. That way you aren't really making eye contact, but to the other person it looks as if you are. Helping my son with these issues is also a challenge, but it's easier because we share the syndrome. I try to share my experiences at my Aspergers parenting tips blog; hopefully others can benefit from my experiences. Having aspergers isn't so bad once you learn to deal with your particular symptoms. Thank you so much for sharing this lens; it's great!
  • cherylsgifts2go Aug 2, 2010 @ 5:47 am | delete
    I was very interested in your lens as my grandson was diagnosed with Aspergers. Strange too that I received this lens while he is staying with Grandma for a couple of weeks, perfect timing. Thanks for all the information which I shared with my daughter. Great lens!
  • NanLT May 31, 2010 @ 8:25 am | delete
    Excellent! There is much one can learn about Asperger's here. All of my boys have varying degrees of Aperger's Syndrome.
  • skiesgreen May 16, 2010 @ 11:32 pm | delete
    Already gave it 5* but have returned to bless it and feature it on Sprinkled with Stardust
  • theraggededge Apr 28, 2010 @ 4:55 am | delete
    Your strategies are wonderful and inspiring to others. You are a gifted teacher who can use your own negative and positive experiences to enhance the lives of other people (both those living with and without Aspergers) and help them to cope. Squidoo and writing online, in general, are the perfect places for you to spread your teachings.

    As a chronically shy and socially awkward person when growing up, I can relate to having to use scripted reactions/responses to just get through the day. I preferred to live in my head than to interact with real people. I still do.

    Blessed :-)
  • lollyj Apr 26, 2010 @ 3:25 pm | delete
    This is a beautifully written lens. I learned a lot from reading about your experiences.
    Your courage and honesty are inspiring.
    Congrats on the purple star.
  • CoolFoto Apr 24, 2010 @ 7:30 am | delete
    Congrats on your Purple Star. It is brave of you to share your struggles with us. This info will help lots of people!
  • Norma_Budden Apr 23, 2010 @ 9:02 pm | delete
    Congrats again, Purple Squid. I'll add this to your feature later but, for now, I think you'll want to visit: http://www.squidoo.com/luvmyludwigs-purple-stars
  • wishfulthinking777 Apr 23, 2010 @ 12:44 pm | delete
    This is a beautiful lens. I am so glad that you are able to communicate what it is like as a person with Aspergers to live day to day. My step son has Aspergers (he is about to turn 12) and he often has trouble coping. This is quite an awkward age anyways, and the Aspergers makes it more so. If I could get him interested I would have him read this...but unfortunately reading is not one of his favorite things to do right now. Thank you for the beautiful lens!
  • rms Apr 22, 2010 @ 6:14 pm | delete
    Your Purple Star has been awarded by our Purple Star Queen of the week, luvmyludwig.
  • luvmyludwig Apr 21, 2010 @ 10:56 pm | delete
    Kylyssa, every time I read something you've written it effects me so deeply. You are a special person with a talent to express yourself with the written word. I don't know what it's like to have Aspergers, but you have enabled me to see what it's like through your eyes. I see a couple similarities between Aspergers and Bipolar Disorder. It is much easier for me to form friendships online because I have a way to edit myself. In a face to face encounters I sometimes react in inappropriate ways or say something "off" when I'm hypomanic or manic. And face recognition gives me trouble too. A person's hair tends to stand out in my mind more than the face and that causes problems because of hair cuts and such. Thank you for sharing your story. I know it has helped me better understand Aspergers and I have even more respect for you than I previously had (and I'm always had a lot of respect for you). I really admire your strength.
  • Airinka Apr 10, 2010 @ 10:53 am | delete
    Useful information! Thanks!
  • WordCustard Jan 17, 2010 @ 11:27 am | delete
    A very clear and insightful description of the challenges that you and other people with Asperger Syndrome face. You communicate wonderfully with the written word and do so much to foster understanding.
  • Sylvestermouse Jan 14, 2010 @ 6:27 pm | delete
    This is absolutely amazing! I admire your courage and your tenacious determination. This is truly an awesome insight into your everyday life and struggle. Thank you for helping us to understand Asperger Syndrome. In reading your lens, I couldn't help but wonder how many people with Asperger Syndrome go without a diagnosis, thus without any help or understanding. "Angel Blessed" and added to my Squid Angel Mouse Tracks lens.
  • dc64 Jan 14, 2010 @ 12:54 pm | delete
    I tried to leave a comment, but I lost my internet connection after I hit the 'Add Comment' button, so just in case it did not go through, I'd like to say how great it is to see that there are quite a few of us on the Autism Spectrum here. Lensrolled!
  • HikiCulture Jan 2, 2010 @ 12:31 am | delete
    I'm glad you're creating these insightful lenses about Aspergers.

    Being an aspie, I highly appreciate this.
  • bloomingrose Dec 15, 2009 @ 10:11 pm | delete
    Once again, a wonderful lens. Your difficulties with this disorder have certainly not affected your intelligence or writing ability - you are a very bright and articulate woman and it is wonderful that you are using your abilities this way.
  • WeddingZazzle Dec 6, 2009 @ 10:20 am | delete
    Wonderful lens. I have built many autism lenses myself and I dont think there could ever be too much attention brought to the world of autism. Thank you for sharing.
  • Quirina Dec 4, 2009 @ 4:33 pm | delete
    Kylyssa, I find your account of your own experiences extremely interesting. Thank you for sharing!
  • AddaptAbilities Oct 2, 2009 @ 6:07 pm | delete
    A lot of really great information. Thanks for all the work you put into this.
  • sandralynnsparks Oct 2, 2009 @ 6:43 am | delete
    Kylyssa, this is wonderful. I've given it five stars, and lensrolled it to my lens on synaesthesia. Thank you...a lot of people don't realize just how Asperger's works; we need the descriptions to be just as clear as you need descriptions from us.
  • prosperity66 Oct 2, 2009 @ 2:35 am | delete
    I cope with nothing else than asthma, Kylyssa :) But I regret of not being an angel (a real one) as I would bless and cure anyone who has to cope with troubles and/or diseases!
    Dom.
  • skiesgreen Oct 2, 2009 @ 12:39 am | delete
    Very nice insight into the problem. Great topic and thanks for sharing it 5*

by

Kylyssa

I am a "retired" florist turned freelance writer. I enjoy cooking, keeping saltwater fish, and baking fun cakes. I have had some unusual life-experien... more »

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