Coping With Stress

I love this little verse which I keep close by...

Lovely verse which helped me through tough times of dealing with the stress and worry of sciatic pain.

"God grant me the Serenity
To accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can
And the Wisdom to know the difference."

Focus on what you CAN DO . Dont beat yourself up over the rest.

It is important to focus on what you CAN DO.

Of course you may be told about and thinking about all the things you cannot do but there will be things you CAN do and I suggest you focus on those things, do them, and don't beat yourself up about the rest.

Sometimes especially if you are dealing with health issues like back pain, which can cause stress, it helps to re evaluate the tasks in the family and to reassign duties depending on what people are good at and what they can do.

We found it useful to make a list of all the jobs that needed doing and then I could pick the things I could do and the rest to be done by others.

Do a Success LIST

Make yourself a list every day of all the things you are going to do. Make everything on the list acheiveable. It can include things like washing your face, holding a toothbrush, gettig out of bed, talking, kissing your spouse, reading your kids a bedtime story....whatever you KNOW you will achieve.Then at the end of that day tick off all you have done.

Why is this good to do?

It convinces your mind YOU are Successful You will develop a CAN DO attitude and that will serve you well.

We are all different and equally valid in the ways we react emotionally.

People I know who are under stress have described it as an emotional rollercoaster, a see saw experience, frustrating, depressing, challenging,debilitating,frightening, isolating, stressful and confusing.

Also people have said who are coping with the demands of back pain and realising they are learning to cope and using their emotional strength to get through and do each day, was a profound experience changing the way they behaved towards life. Appreciating what they can do, physically more dependant, mentally more independent, being more kind, amazed at the community of support among back pain sufferers, found something within themselves an emotional and mental strength they didnt know was there...

So we all react in different ways, at different times...equally true, equally valid.

I certainly recognize myself in some of these statements. The ways \i felt and feel about what I went through...

Be gentle on yourself and be loving to yourself at all times.

You should never feel embarrassed, guilty, ashamed or less than you were if you are experiencing back or any other pain. You are you a person dealing with stress and with back pain not the back pain only in itself. You are coping with a lot and doing the best that you can.

Try to get to a stage where you are in control and a proactive partner in your care and treatment.

You are unique and special and have every right to be happy.

If you have health issues like back or sciatic pain or any other condition and you are feeling stressed you may find as I do that the pain increases. I always wondered why this was until I started learning more about it. My understanding from what I have read is that stress causes muscles to tighten and tense and that increases pain and then pain increases the tension and stress you are feeling as you hold your body against the pain and so on.

In addition if you have an injury or a condition where there is nerve compression and nerves are already constricted it may not take too much more muscle tension or constriction to cause or increase the pain.

So if your pain is aggravated by tense muscles caused by stress it is important if you can to interrupt this vicious cycle.

Even now that I feel I have my back condition under control I know if I am experiencing too much stress I get a familiar sciatic pain, only slight but I know it is there and it is time to take action. When I had constant severe sciatica I found when I used the physical solution for me in Lose the back Pain along with some of the relaxation techniques here I made faster progress.

I also sometimes just take off to the park and feed the ducks and the fish and relaxation finds me...

Diminishing stress, anxiety and depression by being and feeling Grateful for what we have.

It is not surprising that for most of us we focus on what is going wrong. A Grateful Diary can help to focus on what is still right and good in our lives.Keep a Grateful Diary to focus on the positive things in life in spite of our issues

How to do a grateful diary.

Its simple, its free and it takes only a few minutes....

Each day ideally or every couple of days write down up to 5 things you are grateful for that day in your life. Get a book you will use specifically for this purpose. I like mine to be pretty and decorative so it encourages me to use it, its your choice.

The idea behind this is even though you are dealing with back pain you have things in your life to be grateful for, that others may not have, that make you happy, that you are proud of achieving,that you love, that love you, that you contribute.....

Positive thoughts tend to breed or attract positive actions and if you are trying to cope with back painit is not always easy to be positive, so this can be a good way of making yourself realise what you have that is good, who you are that is good, and focus on the positive about yourself and your life.

It helped get me from a state of total inaction because I was so down and thought my life was over as I knew it to a state where I decided i was worth it to continue seeking a way forward to get my life back.

It can be anything from;

"my dog"
"the food I just ate"
"I can see the beautiful flowers in my garden"
"its a sunny day"
" I can listen to wonderful music"
"my child"
"I can walk further today than i could last month"
" I can read "
" I helped my friend with a problem"

It can be anything and it has to be positive.

Sometimes it can just help to get some " me" time and to listen to beautiful music and relax.

Sit or lie down or whatever is comfortable for you, put on sme peaceful music, what ever you like, make sure you are warm enough and just listen and go with the music. If troublesome thoughts come in just let them go, you can deal with them later,(I imagine them passing away on a cloud) just for now you can r-e-l-a-x.

Some people will want to take this further and meditate and this can be very helpful as well in dealing with stress.

Meditation has so many forms and some are linked to religious beliefs , some are not. In brief and a basic interpretation is that meditation is relaxed concentration on an object, sound, thought etc and is a mind/body/spirit experience. Some meditations demand certain postures and if you follow thse you need to be the judge if you can do them with a back condition. Personally I prefer to go with what is comfortable for me.

Regular daily relaxation and /or meditation is the most beneficial. How long depends on you and what time you have, i find about half and hour to an hour is wonderful when I have the time or I feel I "need" it. Otherwise even just 15 minutes relaxing to music is helpful.

Controlled breathing helps reduce stress, relax, calm and release muscle tension, which can be helpful.

Deep rhythmic breathing can help to bring down stress levels and relax the body. It can calm and relax you and you may find it can help with pain relief.

Sit or lie quietly for a few minutes and breathe normally. Try to quiet your mind, if thoughts come in just observe them and let them go.

Take a deep breath in through your nose, hold for a few seconds and then let it out through your mouth; when you think it is all out contract your stomache muscles and push it further out. Then repeat. Do this for about 3 minutes to start with and hopefully you will feel less stressed,calmer.

You can build up to deep breathing like this for longer periods of time but start off slow and for short periods only.

If you have breathing difficulties or respiritory problems please do not do this unless you have checked with your doctor.

Advantages of doing this breathing are that it can be done anywhere anytime you are feeling tense, anxious or stressed and doesn't cost you anything.

Can be particularly helpful before and during medical examinations, MRI scans etc if you find them stressful to help calm you down.

If you feel stressed about your health or any other reason in your life find out all you can about it. Dont scare yourself but get used to asking questions of the professionals working with you.

I imagined my back pain was all manner of very serious conditions.

Imagination out of control is WORRY. Worry never gets you anywhere.

Pain can certainly grind you down so you are tired and retreat from help. Decide to get support when you need it- friends, family , a good pain discussion forum,whatever helps you to feel empowered. You deserve it!

If you dont understand their medical terms or they use abbreviations you have never heard of ask them. Build up your knowledge so that you become a proactive partner in the discussions and decisions about your body rather than a passive patient.

Its YOUR body,make sure you understand what is happening so YOU can be a proactive partner in your care and treatment.

Read good articles. You will feel more in control and more empowered which is good for your emotional and mental health.

Always remember No one cares about your body like you do.

Always keep hopeful..and yes I do know it is easier said than done. I reached rock bottom and gave up hope for a while. Always keep searching for your solution.

Get the necessary support for depression or anxiety along with the support you need for back pain. If you have both stress and back pain you need to address both.

I know it is not so simple yet it is important to try to find hope and happiness and try to be around positive people in your life.

Max Ehrmann

Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.

Max Ehrmann, Desiderata

Treat yourself every day.

It doesnt have to be expensive or take a lot of organisation but when you are dealing with issues you need to know that life can be good too.

Try to include in every day something that makes you really happy. I can't say what that will be for you but make sure you experience some happiness each day.

You deserve it.

One of the things that helped me when i was in too much pain to leave the house was to have flowers in the house. I couldnt get to be out in nature so i had nature come to me :)

Discussion Forums can really help to reduce stress ,anxiety and isolation.Sometimes if you are isolated or even if you have the most wonderful understanding people around you , you will want to talk with others who are in a similar situation to you, and that is when a discussion forum comes into its own.

It can be very isolating having back pain, sciatica or any other health conditions and it can be very helpful to share views and discuss how you are doing with others who know how you feel.

Regular daily exercises can be a great stress reducer and improve your overall mood. If you are able to exercise without it exacerbating your pain or symptoms or hindering your condition then your mood and emotions will benefit as well.

The problem for many people with back pain and sciatica symptoms is that sometimes the pain is too much to do regular exercise and so the stress builds up.

Before I got back pain I was used to walking miles each day wth my dog and also doing a lot of gardening which was both great physical exercise for me and necessary as my job is very sedentary.

However when i was in the worst throes of back pain I couldnt even walk across a room without pain.

However if you first get clearance from a healthcare professional water therapy can be great exercise for back pain sufferers. It is gentle, supportive of your body, no impact and gives you exercise and a "feel good " factor as well, especially if you also can go in the hot tub!

The idea is to just move in the water walking, floating, moving your arms and legs etc. You do not need to swim. Water therapy can, if safe for you benefit both mind and body, relaxing you and helping you feel better emotionally as well as physically.

Both my neurosurgeon and Steve Hefferon from the Healthy Back Institute recommended that I do water exercise two to three times a week.

Do check with your doctor though as not everyone with back pain will be suited to this.

If you ever feel worried, anxious, suicidal or depressed or just plain fed up with coping with it all do not sit there feeling you have to go through it alone.

There are help lines to listen and advise you.

Is Laughter the best medicine?

Well as long as it doesnt hurt you physically to laugh it can be fantastic for your emotional health.

Laugh at a good film, some antic one of your pets is up to, share a joke with your child, or just laugh for no good reason!

If laughter is not for you just try a great big smile every day, its free and worth a try :)

Sometimes it doesnt hurt to have a good cry.

We often bottle up our emotions so much it can be like a pressure cooker.

Many of us will have been brought up to hide our feelings and to be "brave" and keep a "stiff upper lip" etc.

If you have pain you are going through and coping with a lot. Sometimes you feel like crying and you should...without feeling guilty.

Massage therapy can work on many levels if you have a good therapist. It can be a time for you , a time for pampering.

If done with oils it can help you on an emotional level as well eg lavender is calming, jasmine can help lift anxiety and depression, neroli is a sedative and anti depressant, helping with anxiety, shock and insomnia. These are simply examples.

Please consult with a qualified aromatherapist if you want to use oils for therapeutic reasons.

It can also help some back pain and sciatica as part of your strategy but you must check the massage therapist is competent in working with back pain.

Always discuss your symptoms and condition with them first and check that they are confident working with you. Ensure they are qualified and certified.

Even if you don't want to go for a massage a simple hand massage you can do yourself just with a pre blended massage oil for relaxation can be very soothing.

Reiki(pronounced ray-key)is an ancient healing method, sometimes described as a laying on of hands method. It is to do with the transfer of healing energy through the giver to the receiver.

Reiki can help with physical and emotional wellbeing and should be carried out by a qualified practitioner. Reiki can help to centre,calm and relax you, help with pain and improve health.

I have received wonderful relaxing Reiki treatments and went on to study Reiki One and Reiki Two practitioner level which I am now beginning to practice with family and friends and animals. I hope one day to take this further.

People receiving treatment usually sit or lie down in a comfortable position and except taking shoes off remain fully clothed. It is better as the receiver of Reiki if you wear relaxed comfortable clothing.

Reiki may also in some cases be given as part of or after a massage.

People with certain conditions should not receive Reiki, please check with any practitioner before you book a session.

In the case of illness, you should always consult your healthcare provider. Reiki may be used as a complimentary or additional form of treatment.

Sometimes and for some people it may help to just write down all your concerns, worries, stresses and anxiety.

Sometimes when it is down there it is a cathartic process of letting it all out.

It may also seem a little easier to handle if it is written down rather than swirling around in your head.

I am a recovering back pain sufferer and not a medical expert or psychologist.This lens contains personal opinions that are not intended as medical advice. The contents are not intended to diagnose, treat or give a medical opinion.

This lens cannot medically advise you on depression or stress. It is very important that if you are experiencing depression, stress and anxiety that you see a healthcare provider and if experiencing suicidal thoughts that you ring the National helplines for your country.

I am not a psychologist and am talking in some cases from my personal experiences here about things that helped me when i was going through the stress, anxiety and depression of long term back pain and sciatica, and I will also refer you to works of people or techniques which you may wish to explore.

The information here is no substitute for medical and psychological diagnosis and guidance. Consult a physician in all matters relating to health, particularly concerning any symptoms that may require diagnosis or medical attention. Never disregard medical advice, or delay or change treatment because of something you have read here.

For assistance with back pain, depression or any other medical condition, always consult a qualified healthcare professional.

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