Courtesy is Contagious, the title of this lens, is from a short-lived California public service campaign in the 1960s. Billboard pictures showed a smiling driver allowing a fellow driver to merge. Radio spots promoted courtesy. Kindness toward strangers now seems as quaint and out-of-date as hippie-inspired '60s fashion.
     Global warming isn't the only crisis we face. Like the polar ice caps, courtesy is diminishing and disappearing. It's not too late to turn things around. The purpose of my lens isn't to convert the miscreants of the world. I only want to encourage my readers to hang on. Don't give up. Don't go over to the dark side and become one of them--the miscreants. There's still time to make the world a better place on a microcosmic scale.
     I emphasize driving habits because other than sleeping and working, we spend most of our time behind the wheel--time that typically brings our quality of life crashing down, seldom the euphoric experience we see in car commercials.

For proof of the decline of courtesy look no further than your nearby supermarket. As you wait your turn to pile your groceries onto the checkout conveyor, you may notice that the person before you didn't place the small plastic divider after their items. Did you know that only a few years ago it was common courtesy to do this?

This simple act of courtesy died out like a bad fad. It could be that too many people just gave up. Why should I put the divider down when no one else does? It's an alarming sign that our culture is lurching toward greater callousness. What small act of courtesy will be next? Waiting in line? Will people just descend in a mob where once they patiently queued up?





It's already happening. People used to politely wait their turn to board San Francisco's cable cars. At some point, boarding cars became ugly scenes of pushing and shoving. I saw women get knocked to the pavement.


They had to install crowd-control devices. We need to get a handle on this before the culture becomes a preview of post-apocalyptic hell.

Preventing a road warrior future depends on all of us. On my daily commute, I have to fight my way into the flow of freeway traffic. Seeing my intention to grab a spot on the roadway, the trailing motorist will race to fill the slot I was heading for. It happens to all of us. How easy it would be to give up and become a NASCAR wannabe like them.

But there is a practical side to driving tactics. Traffic actually flows if you leave a couple of car lengths in front of you so people can merge. You have to leave ample space for slow-witted drivers too timid to take the initiative. They are so bullied they think you are trying to fake them out. If you leave enough space it finally dawns on them they can change lanes if only they will step on the gas.

In my 20-mile commute, I probably let two or three dozen drivers use the space in front of my car to change lanes or enter the freeway. The drivers behind me sometimes go nuts, both male and female. They curse. You see the veins on their necks popping out. They flip me off and give me a good blast with the horn. It especially drives them crazy when there is an obstruction. I slow to let other cars get around the stalled car, the dead body, whatever, to loosen the bottleneck. Sometimes you get a wave of thanks. Maybe a miscreant has been won over.
     Isn't that practical? Wouldn't you want someone to release you if you were stuck behind a freeway blockage? They never think of that. They just go ballistic. The poor sap who winds up behind an overturned car gets what he deserves. If he wants to escape, let him fight his way out. Maybe it will cause another wreck.

Don't get me wrong, road warrior outbursts get my hackles up. I'm human. I want to lash out in return. Before getting in the car every morning, I have to remind myself: Don't let them get to you. Keep cool. Life's too short.
     I think most people would agree that flowing traffic is better than a standstill. Gridlock develops when every driver tailgates, preventing lane changes and freeway ingress/egress. Up ahead, a guy signals for a lane change. Screw him! Let him try his luck somewhere else. I take a back seat to no one!
     Letting people use the space in front of your car is the gridlock cure. It's purposeful courtesy. It's just basic common sense, but when it comes to driving, common sense is anything but.
     With gas surging toward $5 a gallon, more people may be receptive to driving habits that cut fuel consumption. Electrical Engineer William Beaty might be the world's foremost authority. Read his tips.

We've entered an era in which politeness and courtesy are seen as wimpy, letting others trample your rights.
     A coworker I was riding with blocked traffic as she attempted a maneuver. "I never used to do this," she said, "but I'm learning to be more assertive." I see, assertiveness means being a jerk. No, I didn't say it. She held up dozens of cars but strangely, no one honked. It's the New Courtesy. People will only honk if you do something polite, like stopping for pedestrians.
     Under the New Assertiveness it's OK to hold up traffic for your own selfish purposes. Your fellow motorists get it. They won't honk. It's no longer thoughtless or rude if everyone does it, so no one gets upset. What's rude is to honk or to express disapproval. That can get you shot or beaten to a pulp with a tire iron.
     Misguided assertiveness has replaced the outdated We're-All-in-This-Together ethic. You see it where drivers line up in a green-arrow left turn lane. In the past, drivers sensed a responsibility to clear the intersection quickly to help fellow drivers get through the light. When you're the eighth car in line you appreciate the alert response from those ahead of you.
     The new attitude is "I'll take my sweet time. I'll dawdle. No one's going to rush me. I have my rights. I'll do some texting while I'm waiting. Maybe I won't notice when it's my turn to go. Who cares? Let 'em honk! I'll go even slower. So what if I make those jackasses behind me miss the light?"
     Stuck behind a line of dawdlers, with precious seconds ticking by, you know you're running out of time. You'll have to sit through the light again. Isn't it tempting to give 'em a good blast with the horn?
     You don't dare. People have had their throat slashed for less. Such is life in the Age of Assertiveness.

Drivers who obey traffic controls and vehicle codes can become victims of road rage. My worst incident was when I stopped for a pedestrian at a crosswalk*. The people in the car behind me pitched a fit. When they raced around me screaming curses (with the windows closed) and flipping me off, they looked angry enough to kill. All because my act of courtesy^ cost them maybe 5 seconds. Oddly, they were a presentable-looking young couple, probably nice people when they're not riled up.
     Wouldn't it be easier to change my driving habits to please the miscreants? It's a moral dilemma for any motorist. You may fight it at first. After all, Mama always said to mind how you act when no one is watching. That's the real proof of who you are.
     When you finally give in, it feels good. You've gone over. You're free to indulge all your worst impulses. It's OK. All those people who think you're a nice guy will never find out what you're really like.
     The threat of road rage could be the biggest deterrent to highway courtesy. Nothing sends a miscreant into orbit like "bad drivers," people whose driving habits don't meet their zany standards.
     The worst bad drivers are slowpokes like me. On city streets, I only go ten miles over the speed limit. Miscreants whiz around me, gunning their engines. Some honk, curse, and flip me off.
     It's common knowledge that ten miles over the limit is the threshold of eligibility for a speeding ticket. Why should I start worrying about tickets just to keep the miscreants happy? I wouldn't be crazy enough to actually go the limit. That would be cruisin' for a bruisin'.

*Until the early '90s pedestrians had the right away over vehicles in California, making California one of the last cradles of courtesy to go over to the dark side.

^It's not really courtesy to stop for pedestrians. You're supposed to.

An exception is two-lane thoroughfares that offer miscreants no escape. Of course I pull to the side and let them by. I don't want one of those lunatics beating me to a pulp. I'll never forget the time on the way to Big Bear Lake in California when I saw a poor old couple being harassed by miscreants.
     Big Bear has a population who commute to jobs in Los Angeles. It takes at least two hours each way. They have mastered flying "down the hill" at the highest possible speed. Woe to anyone who makes them slow down, even for a few seconds.
     The old folks poked along on a two-lane stretch. The guy riding their bumper was having a psychotic episode while a tail of several more cars chimed in. It amounted to a motorized lynch mob. I'll never forget the look of terror those old folks had. It gave me chills.
     That's what we've come to. The poor old man might have had a heart attack from the stress brought on by those miscreants. In their eyes, he would have had it coming. Tough luck old man.
     It's scary to contemplate the brutality of a world without courtesy. It's something I don't think I'll live to see, but that's where we're headed. As with global warming, we have to turn it around.

I'm a closet agoraphobe. The worst part of going out in public is knowing you will encounter miscreants, people so self-absorbed they have lost any sense of appropriate behavior. They are seemingly unaware of any impact their actions might have on others.
     Take a hospital waiting room, for example. There may be people with relatives undergoing life or death surgeries, people waiting for a family member to die. Do you think that would slow down the cell phone addicts who insist on having loud idiotic conversations? They lack the sensitivity to notice the emotional context of a setting. It's all about them. It's today's mean-spirited definition of assertiveness in action.

Walking into my local library not long ago, I was behind a young mother and her two children. The daughter looked about ten. The toddler started to fuss. The girl patiently instructed the youngster, "You have to be quiet. This is the library."
     I was heartened that a few children are getting the right message. They will become part of the Courteous Underground, a few dedicated politeness fighters who will carry on the struggle for civility for generations to come.

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