Vladimir the Pheline Philosopher
Please allow me the honour of introducing myself to you. In brief, I am a domestic short hair, fully black with no hint of grey, 18 years old and in prime condition although prone to recurring bouts of yech breath.
Recently, due to circumstances beyond my control, I acquired a somewhat shorter tail but I fully intend to make this hitherto unappealing nether part an item of de rigeur for all fashion conscious gentlemen of the feline persuasion.
I'm an avid blogger and thoroughly enjoy the web but, to avoid disputes with my can opener, I engage in nocturnal surfing while she is asleep. A deep thinker since my youth, I muse on the intricate relationship between human and cat, global warming and its relationship to arthritic joints, the delicate balance of Nature and on the Meaning of Life.
My treatise on Is it really 42? is a work in progress.Watch out for it in the Best Seller Lists soon.
Adjusting to a Life of Fame
It's not easy, but someone has to do it
I have been receiving fan letters from across the globe.. This is nothing unusual for a philosopher of my international standing but at times the adulation can be a little too hysterical for polite society.(From modesty, I will not repeat the compliments here - however the words 'hero'', 'magnificent' and 'superstar' are common)
It all began when I tackled the Tiger Snake which tried to break into the house. You have doubtless heard of my fight to the death. Fortunately the death in question wasn't mine - I still have three lives left!
I now have my own Fan Page on FaceBook, my own group on squidoo Feline Friends, and you can Follow me on Twitter
The Snake Affair
My deadly and heroic battle
If you haven't read newspapers or watched TV lately, you could be forgiven for not knowing of my pitched battle with a deadly and dastardly Tiger Snake.
Naturally I won the fight, although it was touch and go there for a while.
The woman didn't even know of my heroic effort to save her life, or at least to stop the snake from curling up by her back door. I had to make a hell of a lot of noise before she came out to see what what the fuss was about! (She wears those stupid headphones when she's on the computer).
To cut a long story short, I languished in the vets for 11 days before being released. But here I am, fur almost re-grown, able to jump up on the table and very very hungry.
Speaking of hunger, please excuse me while I investigate my snack bowl...........
Thoughts on Black Cats
My views on humans and black cats
Black cats are often looked upon as a symbol of bad omens, and I hear you harbour superstitions of a black cat crossing your path. You believe this brings bad luck! Once upon a time you said it brought good luck.We've come a long way down the slope since the days of ancient Egypt haven't we. Back then we had real power. We were sacred animals. Boy oh boy, did we get some respect! No one dared to move us out from that warm patch in the sun or stop us sharpening our claws on the couch.
We even had our own goddess. The great cat goddess Bast.
But the respect given to us gradually waned. So did all those other Egyptian sacred animals, we weren't the only ones to go down in the dark. Sometimes, in a dark and weary mood, I hanker for the old days.
Did you know?
.... that if you dislike cats you come back as a mouse in your next life?
Another thought on Black Cats
We signify Change
I can understand that, as a simple human, you could get a bit of a chill about this. You get confused, old race memories kick in, and you imagine we are an omen of death.
Better to think of a black cat as an omen of great change, of a threshold being crossed, a door being opened, a new life awaiting in a liminal moment.
Of course, depending upon your individual pyschological framework, this could be a good thing - or a bad thing.
We Taught Humans the Art of Music
All cats are musical
You humans have a way of conveniently forgetting or altering facts to suit yourselves. Take this nursery rhyme for exampleHey diddle diddle,
The cat and the fiddle,
The cow jumped over the moon;
The little dog laughed to see such craft
And the dish ran away with the spoon
The second line, of course, should read 'The cat has the fiddle.
We are the ones who are musical, not you. The truth is that it was us who taught you to appreciate the finer aspects of the artistic form of auditory communication incorporating instrumental or vocal tones in a structured and continuous manner.
Examples of Classical Cat Compositions
For the discerning human ear
While idly perusing the music collection in my own household, I discovered this collection of feline-inspired pieces. Exhilarating stuff, even if not fully feline-composed.
I recommend it to you .. Purrfectly Classical.
Purrfectly Classical
Notable humans reveal their adoration of cats
*Weyse: Cat Cavatina - *Chopin: The Cat's Waltz
*Martinu: March Of The Cats In The Midnight Solstice
*Ravel: Cat Duet - *Faure: Mi-a-ou -- *Rossini: The Cat Duet
*Ketzel: Piece For Piano Four Paws - *Bizet: Puss In The Corner
*Tchaikovsky: Puss-In-Boots And The White Cat
Rossini: The Cat Duet
Purrfectly Classical
Amazon Price: $18.98 (as of 12/17/2009)
Chopin's cat walked across the keyboard and Chopin liked the melody so much that he created an entire piece called The Cat Waltz around it.
Domenico Scarlatti's cat, Pulcinella, composed a fugue while prancing about on the harpsichord, known as Fugue in G Minor, L499; better known as The Cat Fugue.
(Scarlatti may have helped a little, but the first few bars, at least, are convincingly the work of a talented cat.)
Hear these, and more .....
I will never threaten your popularity by barking at three in the morning and I won't attack the mailman. I won't eat your drapes either, although I may occasionally climb them to see how the room looks from the ceiling.
Essential reading for People
The Mythology of Cats: Feline Legend and Lore through the Ages
Amazon Price: (as of 12/17/2009)
If you're lucky enough to have a feline animal companion, I know you will thoroughly enjoy this book. The authors discuss cats by breeds, with literary excerpts, folklore and legends and will help you in your efforts to understand us better and treat us with the acclaim we deserve. (You may even forget the lamentable alleged demonic affiliations).
The book is 'light' reading, not a scholarly tome aimed at educated cats and, as such, easy to follow for any human.
Thoughts on Food
The first, and the last, thought of the day
My food has to be the right balance of the six major nutrient groups; proteins, fats & oils, minerals, vitamins, carbohydrates and water. Preferably in a combination that tastes good.I usually get a mixture of both wet or dry food over the day. I insist on my cooked breakfast, or at least a can of wet food as my morning meal, but the dry food has to be left out for me to snack on when the impulse takes me. And plenty of fresh water around. Inside and Out.
What would be perfect for me is to have about 10 little dinners each day of little bits and pieces, each meal about the size of a mouse but I've never been able to train the woman to do that. So I get a meal in the morning and a meal at night and nibble on snacks of dry food during the day. We must make the best of what Life brings to us.
You may think me fussy, indeed the term finicky has been used of me, but a cat can never be too careful, especially in the senior years. I make a point of exercising for at least 20 minutes every day, regardless of how I feel, and I overcome post-prandial lassitude by sharpening my claws on the woman's leg.
Is that food in your hand?
Recipe : My Morning Meal
* 1 cup cooked minced ( ground ) beef
* 1/2 cup cooked brown rice
* 1/2 cup alfalfa sprouts
* 3/4 cup ( creamy ) cottage cheese
Mix together and serve.
My Favourite Recipes
Cuisine au Chat
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Five Cat Food Recipes
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It's about time people realised something basic about feeding cats. Cats are carnivores. More to the point, cats are obligate carnivores. Being an 'obligate carnivore' means that I'm designed to get my nutrition from animal-based proteins - that's m...
Vale Scarlett
R.I.P : You'll always be a heroine of mine
She died on October 15th in the home of her adoptive family, much loved, much cared for, and now at rest.Her story was one of bravery, uncompromising love and triumph over all odds. She captured the attention of regional, national and international outlets as far away as Japan, including the most powerful voices of CNN and Oprah Winfrey.
She was the subject of numerous books and articles and appeared in the first aired segment of Animal Planet.
Scarlett was also was honored by Great Britain's Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals.
Full Story : Scarlett, the World-Famous Brave Mother Cat Who Survived a Fire and Saved Her Kittens, Passes Away.
What a wonderful cat, I feel that I knew her personally. I sent her a fan letter a long time back, when I read of her terrible ordeal.
Law of Inertia
A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by some outside force - such as the opening of cat food, or a nearby scurrying mouse.
Crass Commercialisation of Beauty
Vladimir's Views on Beauty Contests
I have strong objections to these Beauty Contests and to the commercialisation which drives them. They promote a dogmatic, unrealistic and shallow standard that sets the precedence for future generations of kittens to 'be like beauty contest winners' if they want to be regarded as beautiful. Next thing you know, young cats will be striving to be hollow-eyed, pale and gaunt. These most unappealing attributes are considered de rigeur for the catwalk.
Beauty contests are degrading both to the viewer and to the contestant and can only be compared to a cat-tle market.
If considered from a philosophical point of view, beauty would simply be known as aesthetics.
I am a philosopher. And I have forgotten why I once thought the female of the feline attractive.
Cat-tle Market
Are you a scaredy-cat?
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Mystery Big Cats of Australia
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They have been spotted in every Australian state, huge black catlike creatures that prowl the remote regions of vast mountain ranges and hidden valleys. Sightings have multiplied of late, perhaps because of the pressures on animal habitats in these...
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Leave me a comment, question or a tickle under the chin.
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- admiralglass admiralglass Nov 27, 2009 @ 8:01 am
- 18 years wow! Me and my sister are only 2 and 4 but we are slowly catching you up:) My owner has had several black cats ever since he was a kid and nothing bad has hapen to him (well not untill he got us since we can be quit naughty when we want to:)) What a prrrrrr fect lens 5* and big meow from us
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Reply
- mulberry mulberry Sep 16, 2009 @ 7:43 pm
- Vlad, you are a wise, and.... well, aesthetic (?) cat. Although the cats I live with are not as philosophical as you, they too like bushwalking (taking walks anyway) and birdwatching. Of course, they fill their time in between with marathon napping and grooming.
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Reply
- Kitsune64 Kitsune64 Aug 8, 2009 @ 4:25 pm
- Hi, Vlad! Fantastic lens you've got here - I thoroughly enjoyed it. You are truly a cat of talent. Yoda sends his greetings, by the way. He would have written himself, but he had some very important napping to catch up on.
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The woman gives 10% of her income - and mine - to continue the work of Fred Hollows in treating avoidable blindness and improving indigenous health.Photo : Khim Rath, who can now see after a successful cataract operation, Kampong Chhnang province, Cambodia.
Blindness is a significant public health issue in Cambodia. Over 160,000 people are blind and an additional 20,000 become blind each year. The main cause of blindness is cataract, which can be treated by a simple 15 minute operation at an average cost of $25 (AUD$35). (That's the price of a crayfish tail).
About Vladimir
Lensmaster Vladi has been a member since April 22 2009, has rated 170 lenses, favorited 56, and has created 51 lenses from scratch. This member's top-ranked page is "Christmas with your Cat". See all my lenses
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Vladimir's Gossip
Fetching RSS feed... please stand byThanks for dropping by........
Thanks very much for dropping by and reading about, well, about me! And about a handful of feline friends of mine.You're more than welcome to leave a note in the guest book above and, if you're a member of Squidoo, you can also rate this lens :) You can also join my Fan Club
It's all much appreciated, Vladimir Ilyich O'Duffy
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