Vladimir the Cultured Cat

I have been receiving fan letters from across the globe.. This is nothing unusual for a philosopher of my international standing but at times the adulation can be a little too hysterical for polite society.

(From modesty, I will not repeat the compliments here - however the words 'hero'', 'magnificent' and 'superstar' are common)

It all began when I tackled the Tiger Snake which tried to break into the house. You have doubtless heard of my fight to the death. Fortunately the death in question wasn't mine - I still have three lives left!

I now have my own Fan Page on FaceBook, my own group on squidoo Feline Friends, and you can Follow me on Twitter

Black cats are often looked upon as a symbol of bad omens, and I hear you harbour superstitions of a black cat crossing your path. You believe this brings bad luck! Once upon a time you said it brought good luck.

We've come a long way down the slope since the days of ancient Egypt haven't we. Back then we had real power. We were sacred animals. Boy oh boy, did we get some respect! No one dared to move us out from that warm patch in the sun or stop us sharpening our claws on the couch.

We even had our own goddess. The great cat goddess Bast.

But the respect given to us gradually waned. So did all those other Egyptian sacred animals, we weren't the only ones to go down in the dark. Sometimes, in a dark and weary mood, I hanker for the old days.

.... that if you dislike cats you come back as a mouse in your next life?

I remember when Freya, the Scandinavian goddess used to get around in her chariot pulled by cats. No problems with oil resources then. But apart from being a good time girl up there in the frozen north, she was also the leader of the Valkyries, and demanded her right to choose those men destined to be devoured by death.

I can understand that, as a simple human, you could get a bit of a chill about this. You get confused, old race memories kick in, and you imagine we are an omen of death.

Better to think of a black cat as an omen of great change, of a threshold being crossed, a door being opened, a new life awaiting in a liminal moment.

Of course, depending upon your individual pyschological framework, this could be a good thing - or a bad thing.

I will never threaten your popularity by barking at three in the morning and I won't attack the mailman. I won't eat your drapes either, although I may occasionally climb them to see how the room looks from the ceiling.

My food has to be the right balance of the six major nutrient groups; proteins, fats & oils, minerals, vitamins, carbohydrates and water. Preferably in a combination that tastes good.

I usually get a mixture of both wet or dry food over the day. I insist on my cooked breakfast, or at least a can of wet food as my morning meal, but the dry food has to be left out for me to snack on when the impulse takes me. And plenty of fresh water around. Inside and Out.

What would be perfect for me is to have about 10 little dinners each day of little bits and pieces, each meal about the size of a mouse but I've never been able to train the woman to do that. So I get a meal in the morning and a meal at night and nibble on snacks of dry food during the day. We must make the best of what Life brings to us.

You may think me fussy, indeed the term finicky has been used of me, but a cat can never be too careful, especially in the senior years. I make a point of exercising for at least 20 minutes every day, regardless of how I feel, and I overcome post-prandial lassitude by sharpening my claws on the woman's leg.

I like to start my day with a good old fashioned breakfast. The woman sometimes prepares this the night before.

* 1 cup cooked minced ( ground ) beef
* 1/2 cup cooked brown rice
* 1/2 cup alfalfa sprouts
* 3/4 cup ( creamy ) cottage cheese

Mix together and serve.

Scarlett, the calico cat, made international headlines in 1996 when she repeatedly ran into a burning building to rescue her five kittens.

She died on October 15th in the home of her adoptive family, much loved, much cared for, and now at rest.

Her story was one of bravery, uncompromising love and triumph over all odds. She captured the attention of regional, national and international outlets as far away as Japan, including the most powerful voices of CNN and Oprah Winfrey.

She was the subject of numerous books and articles and appeared in the first aired segment of Animal Planet.

Scarlett was also was honored by Great Britain's Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals.

Full Story : Scarlett, the World-Famous Brave Mother Cat Who Survived a Fire and Saved Her Kittens, Passes Away.

What a wonderful cat, I feel that I knew her personally. I sent her a fan letter a long time back, when I read of her terrible ordeal.

These Ragdoll cats are contestants in an international feline beauty contest in Bucharest. (Xinhua Photo)

I have strong objections to these Beauty Contests and to the commercialisation which drives them. They promote a dogmatic, unrealistic and shallow standard that sets the precedence for future generations of kittens to 'be like beauty contest winners' if they want to be regarded as beautiful. Next thing you know, young cats will be striving to be hollow-eyed, pale and gaunt. These most unappealing attributes are considered de rigeur for the catwalk.

Beauty contests are degrading both to the viewer and to the contestant and can only be compared to a cat-tle market.

If considered from a philosophical point of view, beauty would simply be known as aesthetics.

I am a philosopher. And I have forgotten why I once thought the female of the feline attractive.

The woman gives 10% of her income - and mine - to continue the work of Fred Hollows in treating avoidable blindness and improving indigenous health.

Photo : Khim Rath, who can now see after a successful cataract operation, Kampong Chhnang province, Cambodia.

Blindness is a significant public health issue in Cambodia. Over 160,000 people are blind and an additional 20,000 become blind each year. The main cause of blindness is cataract, which can be treated by a simple 15 minute operation at an average cost of $25 (AUD$35). (That's the price of a crayfish tail).

Images : Susanna Duffy : Free Foto : LOL Cats : Xinhuanet