Creative Parenting Tips

When my daughter was little and in day care, the teacher reported that she had been biting and pinching. I stood by and watched her for awhile one morning through the window, and saw that she was just wanting attention. A younger baby was getting fed by the teacher, and my daughter tried a number of things to get attention, which didn't work.

At home, I tried explaining, but that didn't work. Then I had an idea, there had to be something that she could do to get attention in a more positive way. A song! A song that she could sing.

It goes like this:

I sing for attention, please give some to me, me, me.
I used to bite and pinch, but now I can sing, sing, sing.
I sing for attention, please give some to me.

Although she didn't know all the words at first, she knew enough that she could sing, "I sing for attention," she sang. She loved it. She felt empowered that she had a way to get some attention. And it was a way that brought smiles to my face. We had a winner!

When my daughter was nearing the toddler stage and I gave simple instructions, she started just running off to play or do whatever. I didn't want to be yelling after her or chasing after her either, I knew she liked songs and singing, soooo, I started singing instructions. She always stopped for a song and gladly listened. For instance:

"We pick up our toys after our play,
and then we put them away," I sang as I demonstrated what I wanted her to do. And that is how we got the toys put away, a little singing and a little putting away.

When her teeth started coming in, brushing teeth was quite entertaining. My daughter wanted to bite the toothbrush and chew on it. I'm sure it felt good. But I also knew it was important to brush her teeth. The toothbrush song became:

"When we brush our teeth, brush our teeth, we keep our mouth open.
When we brush our teeth, brush our teeth, we keep our mouth open."

And I also demonstrated with my mouth what open meant. : )

Again she listened, and became a lot more cooperative.

My daughter was maturing and noticing more. The thunder that had ocurred the previous summer hadn't phased her. But that Spring day of her third year, the thunder sent her running to me with arms outstretched.

I picked her up explained about thunder, that it was just a noise with the rain. That didn't help a bit. It thundered again and she held on tight.

I knew I need something for her to do so that I could finish cooking the food that was on the stove. I got an idea.

I sat her back down on the floor and told her we could make our own thunder. I started saying, "Boom, boom, boom," and then I added stomping my feet. She started giggling and saying, "Boom, boom, boom," and stomped her feet too. She was happy again and ran back into the living room making her own thunder.

When wanting a child to stop doing a thing, I've found that I get better cooperation when I tell them something I want them to do instead.

An example is when standing in line in the checkout and the child goes to reach for something - try saying any of these or a variation of it. It's best to focus attention on the behavior, whatever it is, that you want to achieve.

+ Put your hands in your pockets.

+ Here, hold this.

+ Hold onto the cart. Help keep the cart still.