Cube Farm Survival Guide

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Cubicle Farm Healing Through Commiseration, Humor, Research, and Retail Therapy

Do you feel like you're just a cog in the big wheel that is today's office? Even the smallest companies have their cubicles and their partitions and their 'collaborative work environments' (yak). Here are my musings on my own personal office sentence, some links I came up with to some sources of info and fun products for cube dwellers, and links to my CafePress shop, Cubicle Farm (including an original comic strip). Look for window posters to humanize your cube, great books to help you bone up and arm yourself against the adminisphere, and lots of other cubicle necessities that I find useful (and fun). It's a CubiGanza!

Welcome to My World



Once upon a time at the cube farm, we were told by the Powers That Be we were getting all new office furniture. We were, naturally, very excited, because the furniture we'd been in and on for, oh, probably since the company's inception was cracking and leaning and just plain offensive to look at. So, Hooray! Much celebration.

And now we cube farm cowpokes work in ... wait for it ... a Collaborative Work Environment. Right, one of those great ideas the adminisphere comes up with that sounds great and looks great, but when the truth trickles down to the actual drones who use it, it isn't such a terrific idea after all.

Here's what ours looks like (you have to use your imagination):



Still cubicles, just stuck together in pairs. I guess it would be great if we actually collaborated. As it is, we all try as hard as we can to re-create our little private spaces. Could it be that we miss our cubicles?? Well, to make a long story short, we were assigned desks based on who wanted to be closest to the A/C, who didn't get bothered by foot traffic, and who needed to be close to the window (the graphic designer, so she had natural light to work by), etc. What ensued was the opposite of collaboration. We've become experts at shutting out our workmates. We use earplugs, headphones, anything to create the illusion that we're alone in our virtual offices. But the furniture is lovely to look at, I guess.

To Do Today!

Let k8 know about your own crazy, stupid, funny, annoying, wonderful cubicle situation. It might show up in a "Cubicle Farm" cartoon! (See module below.)

I Need Some New Material!

It's just possible that my own cubicle life isn't the only one in the world.

Puh-LEEZE let me know a story about your work life in a cubicle -- or any kind of office. You know, the guy who sharpens his pencil 20 times a day, the woman who walks back and forth by your cubicle 10,000,000 times a day... stuff like that. Or whatever! C'mon, it'll be fun.

  • Kelly Aug 10, 2011 @ 10:29 am | delete
    Not only am I in cubical hell next to a group of LOUD people who are too lazy to use the interoffice IM system, they decided it was a brilliant idea to use one of the empty cubes as a microwave station. So, from 11-2 every day we are treated to a workplace lunchtime microwave fusion. This often resembles a smell something akin to reheated freezer burned shrimp that had been sitting out rotting for a few days.
  • The Talk to the Wall Girl Mar 24, 2011 @ 12:15 pm | delete
    my co-worker and I are on the same project and to discuss stuff we have to walk around to eachothers desks as we are separated by a cubical wall, sometimes we take turns climbing ontop of our desks to look over and chat as it feels silly talking through a wall! I found your site googling "Cubical Windows" as we'd like a sliding portion of the wall so we can chat through the wall and not have to walk around or climb on desks.
  • Cube Ranter 65 Jun 6, 2010 @ 8:37 am | delete
    I can't stand the all day talkers and the weekend TMI cubies. I socialize, sure, but not 8 hrs everyday. My solution--doesn't always work though, still get interrupted--I have a pair of Marshmallow earphones (COMFY & BLOCK OUT EVERYTHING!!!), got mine at Walmart and i love them. The cell phones drive me nuts, I have mine on vibrate all the time. What makes them think I want to hear ringtones and personal info ALL DAY LONG, 5 days a week?
  • Margo_Arrowsmith Oct 6, 2009 @ 5:42 am | delete
    Great lens! Well done and wonderful idea. I just hope you did the lens while in your cube!
  • Pastiche Sep 15, 2008 @ 7:01 am | delete
    My cubie days are long gone (so is the computer company where I was pubs manager - DEC). We devised all sorts of overhead "art" landmarks to help others find us in a sea of grey-brown office-boxes. "Look for Kermit on a swing by the windows" or "Take a left at the restrooms and look for the Pink Flamingo with a purple scarf" were just a few mapping keys. Love this lens! You're invited to join the new group, Senior Geek Squids. 5*s
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Cubicle Etiquette Delineated

The List

OK, cell phone vibration is not #1 on this list, but it's #1 on MY list (so there). This is a very good list, however. Please take it to heart.
The List
You may want to write these down and carry them with you at all times. Just a suggestion.
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The Great Cell Phone Debate Rages On

You may be wondering where all the seething anti-cell-phone stuff went. It moved to its very own lens, Cell Phones Are the Root of All Evil Please come and throw in your 2 cents.

Must-Have Cubicle Gifts on CafePress

Wear, show off, enjoy Cubicle Farm office humor products

Even if you have your own office you might find these fun gifts funny, to have or to give to those cube dwellers less fortunate than you. They're from my CafePress shop "Cubicle Farm."

Brain in a Meeting Mousepad

Remember the old PSA, "This is drugs. This is your brain on drugs"? I've borrowed its idea to explain your brain activity during a meeting. Any questions?

Price: $15.99 Buy Now

Kitchen Window Small Poster

You'll be amazed at how a *picture* of a window scene creates the illusion that the Powers That Be decided to give you a window in your cubicle!

Price: $17.99 Buy Now

Coffee Stain Tile Coaster

My desk usually has so many coffee rings on it, I wouldn't be able to find my coaster. This might be a good gift for the neat freak in the next cube (heh heh).

Price: $8.99 Buy Now

Stet it Large Mug

What can I say about this wonderful word, the one way a proofreader can wield some power? 'Stet' says it all. (Not to be confused with 'Stat')

Price: $15.99 Buy Now

Cube Sweet Cube Small Poster

May as well admit it: Your cube is your home. Argh.

Price: $17.99 Buy Now

Powered by CafePress

"Cubicle Farm" by k8

An absolutely funny cartoon/comic strip about life down on the cube farm

We're talkin' Stress Balls

These warrant their own section

Handstands Morf Stress Relief Balls

Handstands Morf Stress Relief Balls

American Covers 04100 Morf Stress Relief Balls - W more...0 points

Handstands Morph Stress Relief Balls

Handstands Morph Stress Relief Balls

American Covers 04200 Morph Stress Relief Balls - more...0 points

Porcupine Massage Ball

Porcupine Massage Ball

The porcupine ball has hundreds of sensory nodules more...0 points

ergoBeads Hand Exerciser and Stress Ball - Color Black

ergoBeads Hand Exerciser and Stress Ball - Color Black

ergoBeads Hand Exerciser and Stress Ball Ergonomic more...0 points

Toysmith Bug Out Bob Stress Reliever

Toysmith Bug Out Bob Stress Reliever

Who doesn't love Bug Out Bob?0 points

Pink Noise

What is it and where can I get about a thousand?

Wow, I was all set to paraphrase the definition from Wikipedia, but it's way over my head, so here: you can read it for yourself:

Wikipedia's definition of pink noise

"Speak English!" you're probably thinking. OK. Try this, from blackholemedia, where you can even download some pink noise!

"It's the hottest sensation to sweep the nation: Pink Noise! Also known as a signal with even power distribution on a logarithmic frequency scale, pink noise masks background noise to help you concentrate. Now with source code and white noise, for those less colorful. Drown out annoying roommates and co-workers today!"

Now we're talking, right? I also found some pink noise on Amazon. And for good measure I threw in a little white noise, our old friend:

Cubicle Essenticles

Hand-picked for your cubicle survival needs

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Faux Windaux

Believe it or not, a pretty window poster can really help if you're stuck in a cubicle with no real view to the world outside. Try one!

Island View, Windows Art Poster Print by Randy Van Beek, 8x6

Island View, Windows Art Poster Print by Randy Van Beek, 8x6

Art.com is the world's largest retailer of art pri more...1 point

2 Art Prints Ocean View Window Cool Spring Flowers Floral Picture Sea Poster

2 Art Prints Ocean View Window Cool Spring Flowers Floral Picture Sea Poster

Set of Two Art Prints This listing is for a set of more...1 point

Harbour View, Windows Art Poster Print by Jock MacInnes, 16x20

Harbour View, Windows Art Poster Print by Jock MacInnes, 16x20

Art.com is the world's largest retailer of art pri more...0 points

Window View Poster Print

Window View Poster Print

Last Name: Goerschner. First Name: Ted. Paper Widt more...0 points

Window View, Art Poster Print by Christina Keating, 12x16

Window View, Art Poster Print by Christina Keating, 12x16

Art.com is the world's largest retailer of art pri more...0 points

Solid Wood Poster Frame, Plexiglas® Window, Medium Oak Finish, 24 x 36

Solid Wood Poster Frame, Plexiglas® Window, Medium Oak Finish, 24 x 36

Solid Wood Poster Frame<br />Clear Plexiglas more...0 points

Toys!

Heaven knows cubies need to take time to play once in a while

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Comic Relief and Useful Knowledge for Office Survivors

Hoops and Yoyo!
You just have to see them, hear them, experience them. They're a combination of cuteness and hilarity. Come on. You need some fun. (See a sample below!)
Letterman's Top Ten!
Top 10 Drawbacks to Working in a Cubicle
Do You Know Your Cubicle Etiquette?
It's a cubicle world now, so we need to learn how to live together in it. Do you know the rules? Did you know there were any?
Feng Shui for Cubes!
"A cubicle is a much trickier Feng Shui situation than an office room. Cubicles are unfortunate paradigms of vulnerability for the individual worker." Read on!
Reduce Distractions!
See? You're not crazy, and you're not the only one who can't concentrate on what you're doing in that cubicly work environment of yours! (This is the HTML version; it includes a link to PDF too.)

Hoops and Yoyo!

Put on your headphones, make sure the boss isn't watching...

... and treat yourself to a little comic relief. I adore these guys. I dare you to keep a straight face!

Hoops & Yoyo Sarcastic Wednesday 0 points

Cubicles on Video

Anybody who has been fortunate enough to escape the cube farm or who, amazingly, doesn't know what one is, here you go. You lucky duck.

My Cubicle

My Cubicle 0 points

Friday in the Cube Farm

Friday in the Cube F... 0 points

Panning around the cube

Panning around the c... 0 points

Read up on the Subject

Some laughs, useful info, and cathartic reading material

The No Asshole Rule: Building a Civilized Workplace and Surviving One That Isn't by Robert I. Sutton

The No Asshole Rule: Building a Civilized Workplace and Surviving One That Isn't by Robert I. Sutton

No joke, you need this book if you work for an ass more...1 point

The Cubicle Survival Guide: Keeping Your Cool in the Least Hospitable Environment on Earth by James F. Thompson

The Cubicle Survival Guide: Keeping Your Cool in the Least Hospitable Environment on Earth by James F. Thompson

'Veteran cubicle laborer Thompson has gotten into more...0 points

Cubicle Farm Fantasy: An Indian IT worker's dream about escaping the rat race by Ranjit Sankar

Cubicle Farm Fantasy: An Indian IT worker's dream about escaping the rat race by Ranjit Sankar

'This book follows the life of the author as he de more...0 points

Going Postal:: The 50 Warning Signs by Scott Milzer

Going Postal:: The 50 Warning Signs by Scott Milzer

'Does your boss "cc" all his corresponde more...0 points

You need some signage

Futurama Tin Cubicle Sign - You're Not Paid to Think!

Futurama Tin Cubicle Sign - You're Not Paid to Think!

You're Not Paid to Think: A Mindless Worker Is a H more...0 points

ADVANTUS People Pointer Cubicle Sign

ADVANTUS People Pointer Cubicle Sign

People Pointer Cubicle Sign<br />Create your more...0 points

Advantus Open/Closed Sign W/Clock, 11-1/2

Advantus Open/Closed Sign W/Clock, 11-1/2"x 6", Red/White/Black

I use one of these because I always take my breaks more...0 points

Quartet Magnetic Letters/Numbers/Symbols Set, Helvetica, 1in., Set Of 128

Quartet Magnetic Letters/Numbers/Symbols Set, Helvetica, 1in., Set Of 128

Quartet Magnetic Letters/Numbers/Symbols Set, Helv more...0 points

13

13" Bilingual Site Safety Hanging "Closed for Cleaning" Sign, 44" Wide x 13" High. EA

Durable, bright yellow, bilingual English/Spanish more...0 points

Rant on!

Tell me what gets you miffed about cubicle life. Or you could just say hey, that's all right too.

  • Susan52 May 25, 2009 @ 7:32 am | delete
    It's been many, many years since I worked in a cube, but I definitely appreciate your cube humor! Great lens, very entertaining. Oh, is my office corner of the bedroom a cube? Come to think of it, it looks a bit like some of your pictures!
  • coolrate Jun 18, 2008 @ 1:33 pm | delete
    Great informative lens. Please check out this site Leg/foot/calf massager to surf information about the best deep, powerful massage for your legs, calves and feet at very low price.
  • poddys Feb 27, 2008 @ 12:54 pm | delete
    This is great, 5 *****. I'm living in a cube right now - actually in there right now! So much nicer in an office...
  • shanejohnsoncartoons Feb 27, 2008 @ 1:21 am | delete
    Check out MyLifeInaCube.com for (un)funny observations from my work cubicle.
  • marasco2001 Aug 29, 2007 @ 11:20 am | delete
    Great lens! For everyone that has ever worked in a cubicle, we understand the humor in your lens. Thanks for the smile!
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k8company

My own personal cube farm is a small publishing company. I'm a typesetter/word nerd/techie by day and a CafePress shopkeeper by evening, night, and wee... more »

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