Prevent Teenage Drinking

We have lost our Jonathan forever.

Our family is not that different from millions of others and, in fact, if you look at the statistics, are quite ordinary. We are now part of the statistics on families who have lost a teenager due to underage drinking.

The story is, unfortunately, a familiar one to anyone who reads a newspaper or watches the TV news. Jonathan, like so many young kids, got caught up in what he thought was a good time and lost his life at 16 years of age. What a beautiful young man he was and he will be forever 16.

There is another dark side to this story that makes it even harder to bear. Jon and his friends should never have had access to the alcohol in the first place, but it was made available by adults who thought it was entertaining to see these teens acting out until it wasn't so funny anymore and kicked them out to make their way on their own.

Without going into the unbelievably awful details, they should not have been on their own and, because they were, Jonathan died.

That's it. There is nothing more to be said except it is our goal as a family to do all we can to prevent this happening to other teens and their families.

Yes, a beautiful monument for a beautiful young man. But there should not even be a need for this monument. Jon, like so many other teens, got caught in a situation partly of his own making, that's true. He was invited to a party that night hosted by adults who fed alcohol to a number of teens and proceeded to urge the teenagers to do things they thought were funny and to just generally act out for their entertainment! Finally, when the teens were becoming too rowdy, they were kicked out. Kicked out to find their own way or maybe drive a car. There was a real lack of responsibility for what the adults had created when they gave alcohol to inexperenced drinkers.

So, now we have a beautiful monment to look at. I cannot even begin to tell you how much we would rather be able to look at our beautiful Jonathan.

Some people are just dense, I guess, and I place myself at the top of the 'dense list'. I have a story to tell you from a lesson learned the hard way, in fact it was the hardest way.

Drinking. Never thought much about it in any deep way, it just was. My family all drank socially or so I thought growing up. When I was small, my parents, aunts, uncles and their friends always went out on Saturday night to dances and they all drank. Some not so much, but for others, I now realize it was a lot. Looking back with an honest eye, I know that three of my uncles were most probably alcoholics. And in the later years of her short life, so was my dear mother.

Their younger years were in the 1930's and 1940's, the WWII years. They worked hard and played hard on the weekend. There was always beer and hard liquor in the house and usually the first question to a visitor was "what would you like to drink'. Any time after having coffee was time for a drink. Some of the funniest stories in the family were about things they had done when drinking. One of which I will now share with you.

It seems that one winter night before the war, my mother, father and two sets of aunts and uncles were out one Saturday night having a great old time. On this particular night they got stuck in the snow. Well the two uncles got out to push and my dad steered the car. As my uncles related it, between gales of laughter, my dad had to drive because he was too drunk to push!

You have to admit it is a funny story, but it could have been tragic. It's the type of decision people make when they have had too much to drink.

Now, don't get me wrong here, everybody worked, some in war ordnance plants making ammunition and my dad and four of my uncles were in the U.S. Navy or the U.S. Army for the duration of the war.

Everyone took care of their kids and their houses, the meals were cooked, the laundry was done and the houses were cleaned. Their kids went to school regularly and were taught to obey and respect the teachers and get good grades (or else!), they were in Boy Scouts and GIrl Scouts, took swimming lessons, played in Little League, etc. These were responsible parents. They really loved their kids and families. but it was the nature of the time they were living in; none of my grandparents had any drinking problems themselves. Maybe growing up in the depression had a lot to do with it. Everybody thought a party was PARTYING!

Consequently when I grew up, it didn't seem out of line to go to a bar and drink beer at 18 and dance the night away. Everybody I knew did it. It was a culture of drinking.

But we paid. Our family paid big time.

My simple belief system has helped me get through the aftermath of losing Jon. Six short months before we lost Leanne, our 29 yr. old granddaughter, also in a horrific manner.

I believe God was nudging me along to make some decisions that would make me a stronger person by strengthening my faith. Sometime in the 2003-04 time period this emptiness was getting worse and I knew I needed to fill it with the Word of God. I remember clearly resolving to go to a church on Sunday to see if it was the right fit for me and if not, to keep trying until I found 'the one'. The first Sunday at The Red Brick Church immediately felt like home.

The pastor at the time was filled with The Spirit and he inspired me greatly. I was 'home".

My life became calmer because I let God back into my life. There is no one to blame but me for my drifting away.

Now, back to the losses of Leanne and Jon.

God creates us, yes, but I firmly beleve that He endows us with free will. We put ourselves in situations and we make our own choices. God knew there were going to be choices made that would hurt our family and He wanted us to be prepared.

He could have nudged and lead and I may very well have ignored Him. I am so thankful that I did not because now that I have exposed myself to hearing and studying God's Word, I know that I will see Leanne and Jonathan again in God's Kingdom. Now, if that isn't enough to make your soul tingle I don't know what will.

So, I know who will be greeting me first thing on The New Earth, my two beaufiful grandchildren!

Thank you God, for my family and Your abiding love.

Note: This picture was taken on Easter, 1993 of all the grandchildren we had at the time. Leanne is the oldest, holding the baby of the group. Jonathan is the little guy on the outside right with the beautiful mop of dark hair.

A parents' nightmare. The telephone call or the knock on the door late at night by the State Police with the awful news that is every parents' worst nightmare. Here, again, education, involvement, supervision and talking are your tools to use to hopefully prevent the call or that knock on the door. There are many anti-drinking and anti-drinking and driving organizations for information. Just google "organizations against drunk driving' .
We need to do all we can to prevent what's pictured here.

Parents of Glenbard North students (Jonatha';s school) have created "The Glenbard Parent Series" which is dedicated to making parents aware of the temptations that are before their kids every day. The list of these temptations does not get smaller, are very harmful and, in some cases, deadly. A Glenbard North student became a victim of medical marijuana two months ago, a substance I had heard very little about. Over the last few years other Glenbard North teens have been lost to substance abuse; a teen has died from a heroin overdose, one from an ecstacy overdose and another after he smoked medical marijuana and crashed his car into a house. Then, there is my grandson, Jonathan, who drowned after becoming very drunk on hard liquour.

The Glenbard Parent Series has received national praise for its accomplishment in managing to do something few schools or organizations have been able to do consistently and that is getting:parents to attend educational forums.

The Glenbard Parent Series most often has guest speakers on parenting topics andnit has been filling the high school auditoriums. Tonight, January 25, 2012, the guest speakers are parents or family members of five teens who have lost their lives due to these substances. Jonathan's Dad will be one of them..

From the local newspaper the Daily Herald:

"Glenbard Parent Series programs always focus on bringing in speakers who will share information in a way that's not accusatory or academic, but conversational and relevant. That's the organizers' hope with this program featuring grieving parents.

That's why numerous local businesses have partnered with the Glenbard Parent Series, and others have contributed money to the effort. Some programs are offered in Spanish, and free baby-sitting is always provided. The programs are promoted to, and often attended by, families in the surrounding junior high and elementary schools."

So, you can see how a successful endeavor has come about; This is a blueprint for other communities.

"Every single time a speaker comes, they say the same thing: 'There is no other program like the Glenbard Parent Series in the country,'" Ross said. "This is a community cooperative resource ... and it's truly remarkable."

Peer pressure is so hard to stand up against when you're a kid. It's really important to be seen positively by your peers. If the kids they hang with think it's cool to drink, well, that's pressure. How can we adults arm them with the strength they need to confidently resist and not be a follower?

Medline Plus has extensive information on facts on underage drinking; statistics, causes, prevention, etc. It is easy to understand and extremely substantive on this issue

www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/underagedrinking.html

Here a few suggestions to help in keeping your children safe.:

Be involved with your kids, talk with them beginning early on so there will always be an easy and open relationship between you. Stay involved with their daily lives, know their friends and take interest in all of their activities. Try to sit down to at least one meal a day as a family so you can discuss their day. It's reassuring to children to know that you are interested and care about what they are doing.

Talk to them about the advantages of choosing their friends wisely; how the choices they make can lead them in the wrong direction and possibly get them into a dangerous situation. Give them some guidance about the qualities they should look for when making new friends.
You should monitor what they are doing, This includes at HOME!

And finally, set some rules. They should make sense, be clear and enforced consistently with consequences that fit.

Whatever we can do as parents to prevent a tragic event, is worth the time it takes. BE INVOLVED!