Custody Relinquishment

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Currently there are thirteen states - Colorado, Connecticut, Idaho, Indiana, Iowa, Maine, Massachusetts, Minnesota, North Dakota, Oregon, Rhode Island, Vermont and Wisconsin - that have passed laws that prohibit child welfare from requiring custody relinquishment in order for parents to obtain mental health care for their children.

Such laws do nothing to improve access.

Shared Parenting means biological or adoptive parents or legal guardians and foster care providers share responsibilities. Responsibilities are for the physical and emotional care, education and medical well-being of child/youth who meets DDD eligibility criteria and who is in a voluntary out of home placement as is described in the shared parenting agreement.

Shared Parenting Plan is a written plan between the parent, and a foster care provider and DDD. The expectation is of sharing responsibilities for care of a child/youth, including exchanging information on a routine basis about medical, education, daily routines and special situations in the life of the child/youth.

Voluntary Placement offers a variety of supports and services to a child residing in a licensed setting outside the family home. This occurs when a child's disabilities are so severe that the parents make a request for out-of-home placement, due solely to the child's disability.

Important: The parents retain custody of their child and work jointly with the licensed provider to provide a shared parenting model to best support their child.

Voluntary Placement Agreement is a written agreement between the department of social and health services and a child's parent or legal guardian authorizing the department to place the child in a licensed facility.

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It is a very sad day in a mother's life when she is told that her child - our future - her's, mine AND yours - is not worth fighting for anymore. It is a very sad day when a child and his mother's hope are dismissed with a few simple words.

It is very sad the burden this child has already had to bear in his short life - the rejection from his peers, teachers, elders, siblings, family members, and countless others. Even his own mother has thought, even threatened, to turn her back on him at times. The difference between his mother and these other cowards in this child's life is his mother keeps fighting with some unexplained strength that she pulls from deep inside her heart and soul.

It is a very sad life this child and this tireless mother has to live when the ones appointed to help them through this bloody war also turn their backs on them, admitting defeat so very easily. Our future looks mighty dark to me - how about you?

It is a very sad day when this child and mother cry out for help, but no one is there to listen anymore.

It is a very sad day when this child, with his gun, returns to a school and starts shooting, not seeing friendly faces, but faces of other children who taunted him for years. Children who haven't visited the dark places he has seen. This child sees teachers who embarrassed him in front of his peers for years - teachers who were supposed to direct him on his path into a bright future. This child sees counselors who turned their backs on him and his mother when they both cried for help so many many times.

It is a very sad day when other parents lay blame on this mother, the school, the guns. Who is to blame? You search your heart and find that answer within yourself.

It is a very sad day when this young man takes another path. He continues to endure the ridicule and torment - continues to bottle it up inside. He has stopped crying for help and has decided to live with his demons alone. This young man continues life alone with these demons until he does some terrible crime when one of these faces appear before him once again. You see the news, you know the figures of the over-crowded prison system. The murder rate is increasing. You put two and two together.

There are many paths this young man may take. How can these paths be cut off and lead to a happy life - a life without pain and torment, without ridicule and hatred, without hopelessness and worthlessness? This is a question that lies before each and every one of you today.

It is a very sad day in a mother's life when she lays her son down for the last time. She places a kiss upon his cheek for the last time. She tucks a silk cover over him for the last time. She closes the door on her beloved son for the last time. She places a flower on this door and weeps for the other children who should not have to follow the path that her son found himself on. She also sheds tears of happiness because her son will endure the pain and suffering no more. He has closed his eyes for the last time and may finally sleep in peace.

It is a very sad day in our future when our society continues to let our children slip into darkness this way.