Back in the day I worked in restaurants, we were always talking about scripting a movie about all the bizarre stuff that happened. Ask any server/bartender/cook - they have stories. Years later I worked in a temp agency. Same thing - gotta be a hit sitcom.

My guess is anyone who works with the public in any way has their quota of dinner table anecdotes. People can be incredibly human. Mean, dumb, demanding, sweet, charming and lonely. Working customer service at Kyle Design, we we don't talk about scripts, but we do talk about "educating the public" about shopping on the web.

We are lucky enough to make lovely, functional art items that people purchase as gifts, for wedding parties, for decorating their homes and even for themselves. We get so many compliments - people taking the time to call or e-mail about how pleased they are with their purchase. I know that doesn't happen for a lot of businesses.

We also get the people who are not happy. They expected something different. We failed them and they react.

Oh baby, do they react.

So this is a little missive from customer service:

If we have made an error - we did not do it to ruin your life. We get distracted, confused and sometimes these things just happen. We are really, really sorry. We will hop right in to fix it. We will ship the correction out to you with no charge. We will do what we can to fix it. Please, please, please relax.

You see, many people who are not happy call or e-mail and start off on the offensive. They are curt, they have demands to be met - they are not nice. We are nice. We actually do offer excellent customer service and want to make our customers happy. But when attacked - well, we are humans, too. And sometimes we get caught up in what feels like a personal attack.

So, to receive good customer service here are my recommendations:

We place a LOT of information on the site about the products, the choices and our policies. Take time to read it and become knowledgeable about what you are ordering, especially for custom items.

Most web based companies, like ours, answer their own phones. We are happy to answer your questions and help you understand our products. when that is done - place your order on the website. We are not staffed for order entry, we had to add a fee for taking phone orders to off set the cost of our time spent. If you want your order quickly - order online.

When you call or e-mail, be polite, set a positive tone for the communication.

Have all the information about your order with you, especially the order number.

If there is a problem with the order, start out your call or e-mail with the belief that the problem can be resolved, outline what was wrong and state what you would like as a resolution.

A return because you don't like an item is different than a return because there is something wrong with it and we will act accordingly.

Be aware that every company has return policies. Take time to read them so you will be informed when you contact the company.

If you are prepared and nice and ready to discuss a resolution, 99% of the time it will be worked out. No - you can't always get what you want, but if you are willing, we can all end up with a happier resolution.