When Fathers Play with Kids
Ranked #3,174 in Parenting & Kids, #101,973 overall
Dads Play Is Important for Kids' Development
Involved Dads Mean Children Are More Likely to Reach Their Potential
When fathers, or father substitutes, play and are involved with their children from birth, the benefits are immeasurable! Fathers are more likely to play by rough housing, tumbling, helping their kids explore their own strength and take risks within safe bounds -- all of which build a child's confidence and problem solving skills.
Although naming such play "Dad's play" may be a stereotype, as in some families it is Mom who is more likely to be wrestling with the kids on the floor, in general, fathers are more often the ones who engage in such vigorous active play.
This is not to say that a father's rough play is more important for his child than when he engages in the quieter reading, singing, and conversational play. Both types of play are important for a child's healthy development. Both types of play can be engaged in by either Mom or Dad. However, mothers and fathers tend to engage in these different types of play with different styles. Even the tone of voice which fathers use affects children in different ways.
This lens will explore the type of play that fathers do with their children. My purpose is to encourage fathers to keep involved with their children from birth all through their growing up years. Watch other fathers playing with their children. Share with me some of the findings of how play helps a young child develop.
If you are a dad, keep involved for the sake of your growing relationship with your children. But most importantly, keep involved with your children for who they are themselves. Whether we realize it or not, we influence who our children grow up to be by the interaction we have with them when they are young.
I have included some links to father-friendly sites at the bottom of the page. They are organizations of fathers and father advocates. Check them out for more resources about fathering.
Come on, fathers, let's play!
Contents at a Glance
The Bonding Hormone Can Be Found When Dads Play with Newborns, Too!
Oxytocin Has Been Shown to be Present in New Fathers
We've all seen new parents who seem to be so in love with their sweet infants -- mothers who ooze affection, fathers who are animated and fun even when the baby is very new.
It turns out that parents who behave in these two gender-specific ways have more of the powerful hormone oxytocin in their blood than do parents who are less engaged with their newborns. Oxytocin used to be thought of as a woman's hormone because it is associated with childbirth and breastfeeding. Newer studies, however, have shown oxytocin to be present in new fathers, too.
The August 15, 2010, issue of Biological Psychiatry shows the work of Ilanit Gordon of Bar-Ilan University in Israel who led a team studying 80 couples six weeks and six months after the birth of their first babies. During home visits with the families, researchers obtained blood samples and also took notes on parenting styles, noting such behaviors as gazing into the baby's eyes, speaking in "parentese" -- the slow, sing song voice parents often use when talking to their babies -- touching, changing baby's position, showing the baby objects, playing, etc.
Oxytocin levels, which are thought to aid in parent-child bonding, were consistent in both men and women within a couple, and increased as the baby grew older. However, oxytocin levels were linked to different parenting styles for men than for women. Mothers who showed a more affectionate style had the highest oxytocin levels among mothers, while in fathers, those who engaged in more stimulating play were the ones whose blood showed the highest level of oxytocin.
Diaper Dude
A Funky Diaper Bag Designed for Men
These products are really Dad Friendly. There's room in each bag for diaper changing paraphernalia, but also snacks, bottles, etc. when you're the one taking baby to the park or traveling together. Great gift for a new dad or for a dad who has his priorities straight.
Fathers and Their Children: A Few Facts
Statistics About Dads and Kids
These statistics appeared in the publication West Kootenay Kids and come from BC Council for Families (see website link below).
Nine out of ten dads (in British Columbia) attend the birth of their child.
Mothers report their main support after the child's birth are dads.
A dad's heart rate and blood pressure are affected by a smiling or crying baby in the same way that a mom's are affected.
Pre-schoolers who spend time playing with their dads are more socially adept entering nursery school.
When dads are involved with children aged 7 to 11, those children tend to do better academically at age 16.
Children whose dads are involved with them before the age of 11, are less likely to have a criminal record by the age of 21.
Talking with Daddy: Play and Language Development
Fathers and Their Children
Dad and Baby Playing at a Picnic
What Is Your Favorite Memory of Your Own Father?
Tell Us About Your Dad
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jercow75
Jan 28, 2012 @ 10:33 am | delete
- I don't have many memories of time spent with my dad that didn't involve the television. I do remember helping him while he was cutting wood. No, I didn't get to use the chain saw, but I helped lug wood and took attempts at splitting it. I think it was one of the few times I remember it being just us. I've really tried to focus on the time I spend with my kids. I want their memories of me of a dad who did his best to love them at all times to the best of his ability. Great lens.
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tiff0315
Mar 12, 2011 @ 7:14 pm | delete
- Lensrolled you back! This is great!
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DecoratingforEvents
Feb 14, 2011 @ 10:53 am | delete
- Spreading *Cupid Kisses* on Valentines Day!
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MomwithAHook
Jan 14, 2011 @ 10:37 pm | delete
- Blessed by a Rocketmom SquidAngel. I don't have a lot of memories of my father as we aren't very close [he is one of the old school type of fathers] but one I seem to always recall for some reason is one rare moment while in church. I was tired and he let me lay my head down to rest on his lap. A very rare moment so is probably the reason it stands out to me.
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Pastiche
Jan 12, 2011 @ 2:41 pm | delete
- I have so many memories of my dad and me when I was a kid. He taught me many things and spent lots of time having fun with all 6 of us. Fathers are very important to children - I get reminders every time I watch my granddaughter with her daddy. They have a special bond that's been there since before birth.
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Be Sensible: When Is Rough Play Too Rough?
The first rule is never to shake a baby. In the first year of life, a baby's neck is not strong enough to resist sudden jerks and the brain tissue is delicate. You can cause damage to the child's developing brain, especially when you shake the baby in anger.
As Dr. Vincent Iannelli states on his website promoting his book The Everything® Father's First Year Book, "When an adult shakes a baby in anger, the force may be five to 10 times stronger than if the child had fallen." The consequences can be severe and include blindness, deafness, cerebral palsy, seizures, severe learning or behavioral problems, or, in the worst case scenario, even death.
Know Your Child and His/Her Limits
Don't Overdo It!
This can be true for a boy as well as for a girl. There is not something wrong with a child who feels this way. It is just his style and the way he experiences the world. Be wary of his limits. Encourage him to explore his physical capacities without pushing him too far.
If you respect a child's sense of his own limits, you can encourage him little by little to get comfortable with his body and to even learn to enjoy more vigorous play. If you continually push him beyond where he feels comfortable, however, just the opposite may occur. He may put up his defenses and never learn to enjoy physical play.
And it bears repeating -- even if the child may enjoy it, avoid play that may cause damage to the developing brain -- this may include throwing a baby into the air, swinging him around by the arm and leg, or jogging with him on your shoulders. Think of the strength of his neck and the way his brain may be hitting his skull. You can have just as much fun blowing on his belly and laughing on the floor. Consider your baby's age in deciding whether something is too rough for him.
What Type of Father Play Is Helpful for a Child's Development?
Can Rough and Tumble Play Cause an Increase in Aggression? Well, It Depends . . .
This article is based on research about what type of rough and tumble play is good for kids and what type can lead to aggression and poorly regulated emotions. It seems that how a father manages rough play is key. A father needs to show leadership and to set clear limits.
- Father Involvement Research Alliance
- How a father manages rough play determines whether this type of play helps a child's development of peer competence and emotional regulation or whether the child just becomes more aggressive. A father needs to show leadership and to set clear limits.
Fatherhood Books
When Dad Is Not Home
"I want my Daddy!"
Whatever the reason, trying to help children understand that you are not abandoning them or leaving because they were naughty is very important. A child does not always understand and may blame herself for her father's absence. This is when phone conversations are a lifeline. Little notes and messages are important, too.
Links to Useful Parenting Information
- Zero to Three
- Zero to Three is dedicated to passing on the most current information about child development to parents, early childhood professionals, and policy makers. This link brings you to their free parent brochures and guide that you can download. They also have a newsletter that you can sign up for if you wish that brings you information about the development of your child as he or she grows. Very useful.
- Parents as Teachers
- This is the home page of Parents As Teachers, the home visiting parent support program available in many locations in North America and some places worldwide.
- Baby Brain Map
- This site, part of the Zero to Three website, is an interactive baby brain map that lets you know what is happening in a baby's developing brain at different parts of his development from prenatal to age three. Fascinating!
Places You Can Get Information and Support for Your Role as Father
- The Fatherhood Initiative
- "The mission of the Fatherhood Initiative Program is designed to equip fathers with the necessary skills to play an active role in the care and support of their children. . . ."
- This is the website of the National Fatherhood Initiative.
- This website has a lot of content about a father's influence upon the healthy development of his children. From the About page,"NFI President Roland Warren is fond of saying, "Each child has a hole in his/her soul in the shape of his/her dad." Moreover, research has shown us that, on average, without involved fathers, kids are more at risk to be poor, become teen parents, fail in school and come in contact with the criminal justice system."
- BC Council for Families
- British Columbia's website with information and resources about and for families. They have just introduced the Fatherhood Series, a set of six brochures for fathers:
Dads and Babies: Connecting with Your Infant
Dads and Toddlers: Connecting with Your Toddler
Dads and Teens: Connecting with Your Teenager
Dads Away fro Home: Keeping Connection When Work Takes Dad Away
Rookie Dad: Ten Things Every New Mom Should Know
Rookie Mom: Ten Things Every New Dad Should Know - FamilyDads
- eNewsletter from one dad to another!
Explore These Lenses About Parenting and Kids
Read and Play with Your Children
Thanks for Visiting My Dads Play Lens
Leave Me a Note -- How Can We Encourage Fathers?
Can you think of a way we can encourage fathers to remain involved with their children?
Are you a father? What kind of support do you need for the job of being a dad?
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Wbisbill Jan 16, 2011 @ 8:15 am | delete
- My children are grown, but I always made it a high priority to spend quaity time with my kids... Still do! Very important!
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LoKackl
Sep 27, 2010 @ 9:43 am | delete
- Dads play is an important topic. Well done!! Angel blessed.
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ajgodinho Sep 17, 2010 @ 7:57 pm | delete
- I'm not a father, but have taken care of my nephews and nieces since I was 20 years old. Also, I have a close friend who has a son and I play with him a lot when I go visit them. He just loves playing with me and I enjoy spending time with him...getting down to his level. He just loves it because he sees the deep involvement. In fact, now he wants me to play with him all the time. It is demanding and requires some sort of sacrifice, but it does some much good that and the child is so happy. Children grow way too fast, so I encourage dads to not miss out and get more involved.
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Index for Dads Play
by sheilamarie
Fathers need support and encouragement to do their job well, just like mothers do. Sometimes this support is just the confidence and recognition that... more »
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I Love Dad
Onesie for Daddy's Little Cutie
Hatley I Love Dad One Piece, Blue, 3-6 Months
Amazon Price: $19.99 (as of 05/31/2012)
Cute onesie for Daddy's baby. How sweet!
Soft Baby Book
I Love My Daddy
Little Jellycat Soft Baby Book I Love My Daddy
Amazon Price: $16.50 (as of 05/31/2012)
Every baby needs books. Here is a book for Dad and baby to read together.
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Kids Love It When Dads Play With Them
