Fritz Arrowsmith: Role Model for All Dads
Knowing what I know now there is little reason to believe that the drink had any medicinal benefit and may even have contributed to whatever ailed me at the time. However, I know that I always felt better after I drank one.
Regardless of the actual health benefits, I know that just watching him take such care to make me something just made me feel better. How could I not get better being so cared for?
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The picture here is my Dad with three of his four granddaughters. It was Christmas, the last time the entire family was together. You see, five months later the little blond in his lap suddenly died. We all gathered in Marin County to be together. Dad was a rock for everyone. He quietly took care of Mom and my brother, didn't complain about rude in-laws and quietly did what he had to do, ignoring his own needs, as usual.
Then the two grandfathers, my brother's sister-in-law and I went to a florist to order the flowers for the funeral. Dad was very clear, he wanted white tea roses, just from him to Sasheen. When he was told that white tea roses could not be had, he showed his first cracks. He was away from the people who needed him, but he still tried to be brave. His voice shook as he explained that he really needed these white tea roses to give to his grand daughter. He never got them. He pulled him self together before we went back. This was, in one brief instance, a definition of my Dad.
Dad, This Is For You. Thanks.
1/27/17-11/21/09
Fritz Arrowsmith died on November 21, 2009. He will be bookmaked by 1/27/17-11/21/09.He died peacefully in his sleep and at home. So many days in the last few years he has looked so quiet that I have gone over to make sure he was breathing. But this morning I knew from the doorway. Their was no life there.
The last couple of days we talked about his going to a rehab. He was having so much trouble walking, unable to lift his feet with his shoulders hunched. I thought it was a good idea, so he could come home. But I learn now that he thought he was too much burden but expected to stay.
I am heartbroken that he is gone, but know it was time and he went the way people should go, at home and loved.
I am happy that I don't have regrets about what I didn't say to him or do for him.
Please, use the time now to say what you need to say to your loved ones. You won't be sorry.
Fritz Arrowsmith, A Self Made Dad
Dad would have been Robert T. Kiyosaki's Poor Dad in Rich Dad; Poor Dad. He worked hard, he and Mom restored several newspapers and printing shops, but he wasn't going to learn how to get rich with it. He was just an old fashioned hard worker, who made several successful businesses.However, he did teach himself how to be a father. Dad was raised by his great grandmother, who also had chief responsibility for a young cousin of his. Sarah Palmer Arrowsmith was a good woman, but her 'Pennsylvania Dutch' heritage, which was really hard old world German, was strict. Dad remembers being taken to visit as a small boy. He had to spend hours sitting quietly in a chair with his hands in his lap. Once he took a piece of candy because the sign said, "Free Sample" and was made to take it back because, "We don't take charity". They were very poor, and stubborn about it. There were some uncles, here and there, but he had no father to model. He became the loving, tender father that he was, and he was self taught.
Of course, Sarah Arrowsmith was stern, but I think this picture showed her pride and love. They were very poor, and in 1918, when Dad was 18 months old, pictures were expensive, yet she found the money for what would become this family treasure.
Atticus Finch: More LIke Dad Than It Appeared.
On the surface, Atticus was very different from Dad. College educated with a graduate degree, he was from an upper level family. My Dad couldn't even afford to register at the University of Iowa so that he could take advantage of a basketball scholarship. He grew up poor with no breaks at all.However, both were highly respected in their communities. This is one of the things that makes me think of Atticus and Dad in the same light.
Once, when I was in the early grades I was having a fight with Dana P. She said and I remember this word for word, "You just think you are smart because your Dad is the Newspaper". Well I was precocious and I knew two things for sure. 1. My Dad wasn't 'the newspaper' but he and my Mom ran it. 2. She didn't think of that, she heard it from her parents. That was the first time that it really dawned on me that Dad had a well deserved special position in town. I wasn't then aware just how hard earned it was. Arrowsmith Printing: From Poverty to Middle Class Through Small Business But I did know that that it made him more special than even I knew, and of course, I accepted some of the glow.
Why it Was a Sin to Kill a Mocking Bird
Atticus Takes Care of Business, So Did Dad
There was a scene in To Kill a Mocking Bird where a rabid dog was in the street, scaring the townspeople. Atticus took control and shot it. It was startling because this man, who risked all to defend a Negro and talked of killing mocking birds as sin, could do such a violent thing when he had to.We lived in a small town, 200 people and the population from surrounding farms and smaller towns. We were a different religion from everyone else. It was only a problem for my brother, who was 7-12 and was teased a lot. At one point a big kid started bullying him about it. The kid had an even bigger and somewhat Neanderthal father. My Dad was about 6'1", and very slender; this kid's father was the Hulk. Dad never fought and was a most non violent man; the kid's father had a reputation for fighting. However, enough was enough. I wasn't told everything, as I was too young to understand, but Dad went out to stand up to this 'rabid dog', the kid's father. I don't think there was any violence, but everyone in town was afraid there would be. My Dad stood up to him. My brother was left alone after that.
Dads and Their Girls
I was a Daddy's girl and proud to say it. I remember a picture of Dad, in his mid 30's sitting up asleep in a comfortable chair with little Margo draped over him, sound asleep too. I searched and searched for that picture, but it must have been lost. I did find a similar picture with my grandmother, pre-stroke, but the one with Dad must have been lost. Unless of course, my sense of safety with him just makes me remember a picture that wasn't there.^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
When I first got my drivers license my mother and her friend took the family car to Ottumwa, leaving us the woman's car. I tried to drive it out of the angled parking spot, but the bumper caught on the car next door. Being totally inexperienced, I just continued to pull out causing major damage to the car I was driving, none to the other car. Well, we both knew that I was in huge trouble with Mom. I am sure that the only lie Dad has ever told Mom was when he said that someone else must have hit and run and he didn't know who did it. Now, Dad is Abraham Lincoln honest. I know it killed him to tell that one lie to Mom. He would have died before defrauding an insurance company, so he wrote a check to pay for the repairs. Yes, rescuing your kids is not generally a good thing, but knowing what this cost Dad financially and emotionally was so devastating to me that I learned a lesson. And Mom was much happier.
Dan Connor, the Underrated Blue Collar Hero/Father
I think that Dan Conner is the real Cliff Huxtable. He loves his kids, he disciplines them, he gets upset when they get into trouble and unlike Cliff, Dan's kids know they are always welcome.I remember when Darlene got her first period. She had been the athlete in the family and she and her Dad were very close. both worried that puberty would change. At some point, Dan, not knowing what to do, gave her a slight punch on the shoulder and said, "Way to Go!" and made a bridge between the girl Darlene and the woman Darlene.
Now, my Dad would never have been that in a million years. But when I wanted to buy my first pair of spiked heals, Mom was against it, but Dad stood up for me. He was very wise. They were so awful to wear, I haven't gotten a pair since!
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One day a boy I was newly dating called and said that he wanted to go back to his old girl friend, but in case he couldn't have her, he wanted to know that I would be there for him. I have no idea how my insecure 16 year old self was able to tell him off, but I did. Then the instant remorse. Remember I was an insecure 16 year old. But Dad had heard it all. We didn't have high fives then and he didn't punch me on the shoulder, but he was so excited and his pride in how I stood up for myself was so obvious that I didn't care about that boy any more at all. That was pure Fritz Arrowsmith just a little of Dan Connor.
Dan Connor Defends His Wife
This was going to be a list of great fictional fathers. However, I realize that I compared them all to Dad, and well, there aren't that many good ones, not compared to that gold standard, so it is now about Dad and the two fictional dads who remind me the most of him.
Well, Maybe You Can Come Up With a List of Fictional Best Dads
Please tell us why you listed someone and don't forget to vote!!!
Knowing How Important Your Father Is
We were Republicans and at 12, I wanted Nixon to beat Kennedy. I was very upset when he lost. But what really got me was when I heard that 12 year old Julia came running down stairs the next day saying "Daddy did we win?" and he had to tell her. I felt like it had happened to my Dad.^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
My Dad never thought he was important, but I always knew he was.
I had a fight with Dana P. in the fourth grade. She suddenly yelled, "You just think you are smart because your Dad is the newspaper". Well, I was pretty smart so I knew that he wasn't the newspaper, but owned it. I also knew that she got that from her parents, and if her parents said it there must be something to it. I always thought he was the world, but it was the first time I realized that others in town thought he was a big deal too. Not quit standing in front of hundreds of thousands of people in Chicago on election night, but it was good enough for me.
And my uneducated Dad did have a lawyer in him. Dad was shy and pretty much let Mom do the talking, but when he felt the passion, he could do it. One day two people came into the shop asking for signatures on a petition. They represented parents who did not want their child to have medical care that went against their religion. The courts had stepped in because it was believed necessary to save the boy's life. My quite, unassuming Dad, suddenly gave an most intelligent and impassioned argument to help this boy. I don't think those people would ever set foot in the shop again; they didn't want to deal with Dad.
On a lighter note, years later, in San Diego, he refused to pay a contractor who had done shoddy work and then not finished. He also wanted to keep the materials to finish the job himself. He was taken to court, went to the library, studied all he could, went to court represented himself and won!
So when the Obama Daughters came out on stage the night of the election, I felt an affinity with them. I knew that feeling of thinking that your father is the smartest man in the world!
Orval Byrd, My Grandfather, Was Right Up There Too!
Dad and I had a model for a great father/daughter relationship. It was Mom and her Dad. I love this picture. That little girl shows no fear at all, her trust for her father was just that strong.An aside. Grandma and Grandpa raised 5 kids to adults. They loved them all and loved their in-law kids. However, it was clear that they felt they had 6 kids and 4 in-laws because they always loved Dad as one of their own. They were very smart.
Fritz Arrowsmith and His Great Grandson, Nico
Charlotte and My Dad
My Dad hates cats, well he says he does. He always said he did but after Charlotte, I find it hard to believe.Dad and Mom traveled the country in an RV for over a decade. They visited me in New Jersey every year or so. At the time I had three cats. Vanessa, a calico, Betsy, a tabby and Charlotte a big black cat who was twice as big as the others. But she was afraid of them. Among other things, she would wait to eat until they were done. They insisted on it. They bullied her in many ways.
Well if there was one thing Dad hated more than cats, it was bullies. Each time he would come he would wait with them while they ate, teaching Charlotte to stand up for herself. By the time he left, she would take her proper place and was less afraid. I said to him, "Its a good thing that you hate cats or you might get silly over her." The problem was that a couple of months after they left it would all go back to the same hierarchy. But a year later, when their RV drove up, Charlotte, who had taken to disappearing for a few days at a time, would run up the back steps and wait for him.
Eventually her times away grew in duration to weeks at a time. Then I got the call that Dad had bladder cancer. He was going to have to go through chemo therapy. I went out to the back porch to think about it all when Charlotte came up to me. I hadn't seen her in a while, but there she was. What the heck. I told her all I knew.
Every time I got a call, I would go to the porch and she would be there for her update. Then I got the call that he had gotten a clean bill of health. Charlotte, who I know only saw when I had news, was there. I told her the good news, we shared the moment. I never saw her again.
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Dad's Later Years: His Nineties
Dad nursed Mom the last years of her life. It was totally consuming, he feared leaving her alone for more than a half hour. He bathed her, cleaned up her messes, worried about finding things she would eat. She was in a nursing home the last three weeks and he was there, holding her hand and making sure she got what she needed, all day, every day. Three weeks after she got there, 25 days after their 69th anniversary, she died, in her sleep, with her hand in his.So my father, who would really like to live alone, moved in with me. He is great company, but he is lonely. He was too loyal to Mom to be interested in another woman, and frankly, wouldn't go to Senior Centers because he doesn't like old people, even though, at 91 he was far older than most of the people.
Then I asked my friend Rose, an energy worker, to run energy on him. She came twice a week, and her Quantum Touch, did him a lot of good. And of course they spent a lot of time talking.
Rose, 45 was just about young enough for him and I think that he made up for her far less than gold standard dad.
They now have weekly dates. She takes him shopping and they go out to dinner, or a sports bar, or to play pool; all things Dad hadn't done in years, if ever.
Dad takes total care of himself, cooking, dressing, everything, but I can't travel and leave him alone any more. That is confining, but sometimes Rose comes over to stay and they have a grand time.
I was gone for his 91st birthday. It didn't matter, Rose took him to a Strip Club for the first time in his life. I kept calling that night, into late night, and got no answer. The next day I called and thought I was talking to a young kid. I don't like those places, and since he is my father, I certainly don't want the details. But I sure liked knowing what a kick he got out of it.
Early on Dad remarked in amazement, "You know, I used to think there was something wrong with being gay, but I am learning, through Rose, that it is ok". Don't tell me you can't teach an old dog new tricks. He gets involved in the ins and outs of her love life, often giving her advice about the women she dates to the point that I can't believe he is my Dad.
They go out and get pedicures together. They found a neighborhood pool hall where 'every body knows your name'. They took me out for my birthday, with a friend, and as I listened to them talk I realized that they were referencing stories that I had never heard. My Dad just never talked that much.
And they kiss. Her being gay makes it easier for him because he knows she is safe. So they flirt and kiss goodbye. I thankfully pray for her every night. Thanks, Rose, for making Dad so happy!
The Littlest Memories Have Meaning
Last Wednesday when Rose took Dad out shopping, they came back with Fudgesycles. He remembers that that is what he used to court Mom. That was all he could afford, so they called that a date.I remembered this:
When I was in grade school we lived on Prairie Street in Wilton, Iowa. Every Saturday night, or that's how I remember it anyway, Dad would bring home Fudgesycles and we would watch GUNSMOKE. Dad called James Arnette, "Old Slack in the Pants". I had no idea what that meant, but I have never forgotten it. Its one of those 'comfort memories'.
DAD WANTS TO HELP SAVE YOU FROM BLINDNESS: READ THIS LENS!
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Macular Degeneration: The Blindness You Can Prevent
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I go for yearly eye checkups and no one has ever suggested I get tested for Macular Degeneration. I have asked for the simple test and gotten it, but learned that while insurance companies pay for other tests, they don't pay for this one. Here is my...
Learn More About My Dad, and Visit the Entire Salon
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"A" is for "Arrowsmith"
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I began this journey as a lens master on June 21, 2008. I started with the story of how my parents began their first small business. That first lens reached a top rank of 188 overall and 14 in business, and then started back down, getting as low as...
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You are Cordially Invited to Share Your Family Legends
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Years ago a guy I was dating told me the story of his uncle who had a shrunken head of a Nazi soldier that he brought back from WWII. He was very proud of his uncle, so I was gentle when I told him that that couldn't be true. In the first place even...
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Arrowsmith Printing: Entreprenuership in Small Town Iowa in Mid /Century
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In 1948 Fritz and Marjorie Arrowsmith took their 2 children Micheal 7 years and Margo 6 months and moved half way across Iowa with no car, $100 in the bank and $6500 in debt. The printer and former high school journalism student took on the job of re...
Please Share With Us Your Dad Stories!
Whatever you think makes your Dad part of the Gold Standard, or even Silver, because that's shinny, too!
Who Is Your Gold Standard Dad?
Thanks for commenting on and ranking this lens!
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- Tipi Tipi Nov 27, 2009 @ 7:48 pm
- This is going to be an even more important lens to you now Margo. I'm glad that your Dad lived such a good life and passed so many wonderful things down to you. Bless your big loving heart. I am honored that you have shared these memories with us all. Blessed by an angel.
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- stargazer00 stargazer00 Nov 27, 2009 @ 12:44 am
- A blessing for your dad. This is a very nice tribute for him.
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- KimGiancaterino KimGiancaterino Nov 25, 2009 @ 12:06 am
- Blessings for your wonderful dad.
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- mysticmama mysticmama Nov 24, 2009 @ 6:51 pm
- A beautiful tribute, my thoughts are with you & your family.... Blessed!
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- sloanesart sloanesart Nov 24, 2009 @ 6:11 pm
- what a great lens. thanks so much for me realizing how important my dad is. Think Ill go give him a call now.
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The story of the Buckman family and friends, attempting to bring up their children. They suffer/enjoy all the events that occur: estranged relatives, the "black sheep" of the family, the eccentrics, the skeletons in the closet, and the rebellious teenagers. It could happen to you... http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0098067/ Cast Steve Martin ... Gil Buckman Dianne Wiest ... Helen Buckman Dennis Dugan ... David Brodsky Mary Steenburgen ... Karen Buckman Paul Linke ... George Bowman Jason Robards ... Frank Buckman Rick Moranis ... Nathan Huffner Tom Hulce ... Larry Buckman Martha Plimpton ... Julie Buckman Keanu Reeves ... Tod Higgins Harley Jane Kozak ... Susan Buckman (as Harley Kozak) Joaquin Phoenix ... Garry Buckman-Lampkin (as Leaf Phoenix) Eileen Ryan ... Marilyn Buckman Helen Shaw ... Grandma Jasen Fisher ... Kevin Buckman
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Show the World How Much You Love Your Dad!
Real Men Change Diapers White T-Shirt
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Fetching RSS feed... please stand byAbout Margo Arrowsmith
Lensmaster Margo_Arrowsmith has been a member since June 21 2008, has rated 2,022 lenses, favorited 120, and has created 129 lenses from scratch. Margo Arrowsmith donates their royalties to Squidoo Charity Fund. This member's top-ranked page is "My Dad: The Gold Standard". See all my lenses
My Bio
For Arrowsmith Printing 9/22/08
I was born into a small business, I believe that small business and entrepreneurs are the backbone of America and what has made us great. They are what made us great and will save us in these unsure times. I have never wanted to have a great job. Well, better a great one, than a boring dead end one, and I have had both. But I have never really wanted a job at all.
Don't get me wrong, I am a hard worker. I have worked a full-time job, a part time job and a private practice all at the same time for a lot of years in my past. It isn't the work, its the working for someone else. Never wanted to do that, and I don't understand those who want to do that.
When I was six months old my parents bought their first small town weekly newspaper in Iowa. This was back in the day, back when small town newspapers were not just advertising sheets. Perhaps there are still some of them that are real, I hope so.
So I came by this perverse nature naturally. My path to self employment has been different than theirs, but it has always been my path, my direction.
Growing up in Iowa, in the fifties, I also grew up politically conservative. By the time I was 30 I was radically left. Today? I am proudly liberal and what that means will be clearer as we progress.
However, I have had conflicts about 'taking advantage of people'. I now know that employing people is not automatically taking advantage of them, but it took a while for me to learn that nothing is intrinsically good or bad. Well, almost nothing.
I have educated myself in business, I have a small business and I have used EFT and other energy clearing methods to help me clarify the old conflicts and move forward.
My mission here is to provide a forum for people who want to work independently through one person businesses or through employing others and for whom the betterment of human kind is an important value. My lenses are about offering good products, teaching people about betting their lives, and using the money they make for their pleasure and the benefit of others.
That is how I see business and if you have a similar vision I invite you to my blog www.creatingbusinessenergy.com
Margo Arrowsmith
Raleigh, North Carolina
Mother and Grandmother
Clinincal Social Worker, Coach and Internet Marketer
Interfaith Contemplative Minister
Student of life, business, the human spirit that motivates us to be our best in all circumstances.
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by Margo_Arrowsmith
For Arrowsmith Printing 9/22/08
I was born into a small business, I believe that small business and entrepreneurs are the backbone of America and w... (more)
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