Ready to Date Again

A female friend of mine has been online dating for a few months. She is discouraged. She has met a few guys in person, she has emailed with many. She has had a lot of them just flake, stop emailing. Then there are two she likes, potential. One sort of eventually fades and she now has interest in the one. Now is when the stress sets in.

Find The One Online

We get stressed dating again because we don't know where it's headed, or what he thinks at this point. We are trying to rush it, when actually we probably would be better off to stay on the dating site at least talking to other men, giving them the benefit of the doubt.

She was losing interest in the internet dating concept or losing faith. She stopped logging onto the site as often, with some hope that maybe in the back of her mind this guy might work out. This is not how to date successfully online. It's all about keeping options open.

How many time do you think a woman meets a man of interest and she stops logging onto the dating site as often. This is a mistake, stay on the dating site until both of you are sure where you stand with one another, otherwise it's options open.

My friend told me she was going on a mancation. A mancation in our world means staying away from men. Below is my reply.

Find The One Online

You can't give up and the mancation does suck, I mini-mancation might be alright, you know 2 or three days.

I have had a good weekend so far. Went out for while last night, laughed a lot, maybe drank more than I should and flirted just to be flirting. I came home talked on the phone a while with a new "friend" and phone sex crossed my mind.

Today, moral here of this story is about swimming.

There is a pool in the backyard of my temporary home, one of the pluses. Today I got my swim suit on, sunscreen and got all set up. It's warm enough here right now. not hot but hot enough. The pool though is really really cold. (the pool is the dating world, back out there again.)

I wanted to swim some laps. I stepped on the first step and goose bumps went up my back and arms. I thought about it long and hard as I eased in, several times I almost turned around and got out. I got waist deep and just went for it, almost had a heart attack. Holy crap! I swam to the other end fast and hard, knowing I was going to only make one lap, I was so cold. I reached the other end turned around and went back talking myself out of getting out. One more lap, I can do one more.

Second lap, hmmm, I wasn't so cold anymore so I slowed it down. It was dead quiet out there and the cold water started to feel comfortable. I did 5 more laps slow and easy. Got back out sat in the sun, dried off and decided if I could do 5, I could do 5 more.

So I head to the pool, but this time I know what it's going to feel like so I just jump right in and start swimming. It might be cold but I already know I will get used to it.

That's how I see dating again. It's a mindset. There is no hurry, slow and easy and it's not near as stressful. It's when your focus shifts onto a man that you are not sure is focused on you that makes you want to get out, you feel the cold water in other words. Get back in and swim.

Find The One Online

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How to find Mr. Right, a commitment minded man in itself sometimes seems at times to be impossible. Finding him online may seem extreme to some, but it only makes sense with the right approach, it is not only possible, but probable.

If you think this is something that is going to happen with little or no effort, think again. A few get lucky off the bat online, but it is very rare. Finding Mr. Right online is going to take patience and a commitment from you. I mean if you are searching for a man who is commitment minded, doesn't it just make sense that you can keep a commitment to finding him? Mr. Right is worth that commitment. He is hopefully out there doing the same thing and not giving up. Sounds a bit on the romantic side I know. Oh well. It is what it is. Your commitment to this is closely tied to the success you will or will not have.

Commitment number one from you involves time. You have to be willling to invest in it. First thing you find the site, preferable a paying one. I am sure that a man who has invested his money into online dating will be more commitment minded. I see the guys on the free sites in my mind being lazy, laying on the couch eating potatoe chips. There are far more flakes on a free site than you will find on a paying one. Think about it really. I know this is a generalization, but the paying sites are best. Find one, commit to it. Once you found it, commit to a minimum of 3, months, six being even better. Understand that which is worth having is worth working for. This isn't no overnight thing.

Once you have commited to working one site, you have to actually log on and participate. Yes I did call it working the site because that is what you have to do. You read the emails, answer them, and search for prospects. You also have to send out emails. A guy that you searched out may not even know you are alive, email him. It is sort of like a job. You have accepted it, commited to it, now you have to work it to get the results you desire. This takes a lot of practice and patience. It takes commitment. Be what you are seeking, it only makes sense.

If you truly want to find Mr. Right online you have to commit. Just hopping on the site and expecting instant results borders on a lack of touch with reality. If you are just looking for Mr. Right now, just go about it with no plan or direction, you might get lucky, it has happened, but not too often.





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You had one, maybe a few dates and he just disappeared. It seemed great, the connection was good, you really liked him. You are left wondering what happened. You wonder is it something you did. You are familiar with the line "It's not you, it's me", I am sure. Well if this keeps happening to you, chances are good it is you. You may be doing something you aren't even aware of that makes men disappear.

Why He Disappeared!

Often women meet a man they really like and they start to stress. Will he call? Does he like me? Is he thinking long term? Is he dating others? Your mind goes into overdrive. Men can pick this up on their radar if you are stressing over them, even if you don't voice it. They know you are reading too much into it. It puts pressure on the man and this is one thing that makes men disappear.

Why He Disappeared!

Men live in the now. They don't go out on one date and start to visualize the future. Women often do. They start seeing couple-hood. They start behaving like a girlfriend way to soon. They obsess if he doesn't call, and start asking their girlfriends what does it mean when he says such and such. If you are analyzing his every word and every move, you are stressed and not living with him in the now. If you want to stop experiencing the men that disappear, learn to live in the present with him. Forget about where it's going and enjoy the time you are together.

Another thing women do when they start that stressing, is they start trying to control the outcome. If he hasn't called her in a few days, she picks up the phone and calls or texts him. She may even suggest they do something together. Slow down girl. The fact of the matter is men love a challenge. You can't stop a man from disappearing by holding on tighter. This is when it becomes not so fun to the guy. He is now worried about meeting your expectations. When he has to worry this soon, he thinks about what it may be like down the road. This is what makes many men disappear.

If you have just had a few dates with a man, and you want to keep him, relax and go with the flow. Enjoy his company and let him lead. A few dates does not make a relationship. If you start acting like his girlfriend or expecting boyfriend behavior from him this soon, chances are good he will be one of the men that disappear.