Daves Hair

Daves Hair has been inspired by sitting everyday next to Dave and his hair. It has a life of it's own. Seriously! Daves Hair can even talk (when he's not looking).

Every day, Daves Hair looks different. Sometimes it's up, sometimes it's down. Sometimes Dave goes along with that, sometimes he doesn't. When James is around, anyway.

One day, Dave looked in the mirror and thought, 'Darn it, how can I make my hair (and myself) more interesting?' You see, every time Dave tried to make friends, his shyness would overcome him and he'd run to his bedroom to cry. This was a problem because Dave wanted a woman!

Dave considered his options. He could dye it. He could shave it off. He could grow it long and pretend to be Kurt Cobain....if only he had the confidence to pull it off.

First, he tried dying. However, he soon discovered pink wasn't his ideal colour. Somehow, he just looked washed out. Dave was depressed and maniacally went for the shaving option; however, when he got chatted up by a Welsh man interested in an easy lay, he decided the sheep look wasn't really him, either. (Although, I'm sorry to say, in his lonely and lovelorn state, he did consider the Welsh man's offer for all of two seconds, before he realised the Welsh man was actually pretending and it was really his manager from work, who'd always harboured a secret crush. However, this isn't his story, so I shall return to Dave).

Dave didn't know what to do. Growing it would take ages, especially from bald. He went to a local wigmakers, but they told him the cheapest wigs started at £100, and he just didn't have that kind of money after spending it all on hair dye and buying shaving equipment. Dave was downhearted, and returned home to his bedroom where he started doodling on a piece of paper what his hair would look like, if only he had the money and the patience to see it through.

Dave soon realized that his designs weren't only good, they were true art, man! He quickly scanned them onto his computer and sent them to local magazines, newspapers, and even Google itself, but nobody was interested once they realized that his designs didn't match his true appearance. Dave was crushed. He paced and paced the floor before he had a startling relevation. He could superglue the hair back onto his head until he had new growth. So this is what he did (although he did have a dilemma about what to use as superglue, as he still had no money, and did eventually end up ringing his manager after all, but that's another story).

Thus, Daves Hair was born. At first, it kept falling out, but with persuasion and patience (not to mentioned several long nights in with aforementioned manager), Daves Hair finally grew to be the phenomenon it is today.

And, Dave was a success! He was famous, and got a woman! Dave was finally happy. And he owed it all to his hair (and his manager but he soon forgot about that).

Stage 1. Daves Hair was short and bald. It was stuck on with some rather weak kind of white 'glue', and Dave wouldn't recommend this method as, after a while, he became a hater of chocolate lollipops (the method of extracting the glue).

Stage 2. Daves Hair grew back in naturally, and pushed all the old hair out. Dave no longer needed to find glue, and in a fit of goodbye to his old life, he made sure that he threw a bummingly good party to celebrate!

Stage 3. Daves Hair took on a life of it's own. Dave tried to regain control. But he couldn't.

Stage 4. Dave decided that, if you can't beat your hair, join it. So he did. He started selling tickets to see Daves Hair, and within weeks they were sold out. Dave was pleased. Finally he had friends. But no woman!

Stage 5. Dave eventually found a woman! Her hair was almost an insane as his (see pic).

Some interesting facts about Daves Hair:

It may grow up to at least three metres a year....

Dave has no control over it, much as he pretends he has

It's blonde, but I've seen it purple before (possibly when it's pressed against what resembles a Hippo's bottom)

Some say Daves Hair secretly runs a Support the Sheep campaign. This has yet to be confirmed

Daves Hair, the miraculous hair that grows upon Daves head, has puzzled experts with the regrowth of it's pink roots.

Daves Hair, once unknown, gained fame and popularity by getting it's own Squidoo page. Some wannabes also created blogs, but Daves Hair quickly took revenge and gained the popularity it enjoys today.

The stunning bubblegum pink colour of Daves Hair has sparked shock in the hair care world. Experts say this should not be possible, especially since pink is not a natural colour. But the public has always known Daves Hair is capable of anything. What will happen next? We wait with bated breath to find out.

Daves Hair, the award winning talking hair, now has some strong competition in the hair world.

The competitor seems to be making a fast uphill climb to fame. Once unknown, this imposter appears to be seriously marketing it'self to those Daves Hair fans out there.

We won't crumble under pressure however, no matter how cute this competition may appear to be. We will always be loyal to Daves Hair, no matter the cost (it could be costly being disloyal, also. Daves Hair has a way of weeding out it's enemies).

To see this competition, please look at the picture on the right.

Yes, the Labradoodle may be a hit in the pet world, but Daves Hair will always be first, at least for those responsible for keeping this page updated.

That, and I have a Choc Lab myself and I'd die rather than betray him.

Daves Hair has been awarded with it's own story, published on the prestigious Facebook.

"I was walking when a stinky man wearing daves hair asked me for a daves hair. I said, "Sorry, I'm a daves hair." He replied, "But I'm from office too!". I couldn't say no to a fellow ??, so I gave him a daves hair. I don't know how he knew me... he must have recognized me from my daves hair or Leon Cupra FR. Oh well... I'm just a SEO . What do I know?"

Nobody is sure as yet what this means. Apart from Daves Hair. But we're sure it's profound.

It would appear that Daves Hair has openly announced it's intentions towards buying a new hat, the press reported today.

Daves Hair, of pink dye and sheep supporting fame, has always been seen sporting a grey beanie hat (when it wears one at all. Sometimes, it goes out naked. See right hand pic for evidence).

However, it has been reported that Daves Hair may be outgrowing it's roots. Seen in the affluent high street of Dave Davington, it was reported to have been trying on hats of all shapes and sizes, including fedoras, cowboy hats and even a policemans's helmet. Rumour has it that this policeman may have attempted to caution Daves Hair for infringing the peace and entangling several nearby shoppers in attempts to steal their handbags, but as yet, no charges have been reported.

So will the grey beanie be thrown to one side, left abandoned on the street? Will Daves Hair become yet another slave to fashion? Only time will tell, but, as a note to all reading this: do not attempt to stop Daves Hair should you spot it in the street. It is armed with a coathanger and could be dangerous.

Daves Hair, the award winning hair care specialist, has today announced that it will be taking up and teaching self defence classes, all from scratch.

So what has prompted this new development? Could it possibly stem from last week, when Daves Hair was nearly arrested for bleaching, or rather, breaching the peace. Admittedly, no charges were bought, but romour has it that Daves Hair has wanted to avoid this type of scandal again.

So, is there no end to the talents of Daves Hair? What will be doing next? Another fan has reported that there will be a match between Daves Hair and a milk lid this weekend - perhaps the first showcase of it's fighting talents. However, unfounded rumours of Daves Hair having a relationship have also been reported, however, we will wait for confirmation before we report on this because it may be that evil speculation is that the other person involved is a man - and we all know how Daves Hair came to be now, don't we (see 'How Daves Hair came to be' for further details).

Daves Hair: "So babe how do you like my new hairstyle?"
Hot babe: You remind me of a tasty Italian dish!"
Daves Hair:"What, Allesandro del Piero?" (wink wink)
Hot babe: (Uncomfortable silence) "Eh No, spaghetti!!!"

*Disclaimer:*

I in no way own Daves Hair, nor do I use it or grow it for illegal reasons. That pleasure is Daves alone, and we don't ask about that!