Dealing with Objections

Money responds to our thoughts and feelings. It does what we tell it to do.

EFT can help us to transform our experience of money.

Usually, when we have any kind of negative experiences, memories, thoughts or emotions, we tend to bury them. Dealing with them is painful, so we avoid doing so.

We may use many things to avoid dealing with the pain, including food, alcohol, gambling, shopping or other types of behaviours.

It is understandable that we want to avoid facing the pain. However, avoidance does not help. It only makes the problems worse.

The more we eliminate our negative thoughts and emotions, and the more we emphasise positive thoughts and emotions, the more we can attract the tings we want - including money and financial prosperity.

As soon as we start to move toward a goal, we immediately become aware of what gets in the way. This is because LOVE ALWAYS BRINGS UP ITS OPPOSITE FOR HEALING.

If you start working with affirmations - positive statements about the kind of future you want to create - your mind immediately starts to come up with objections. In EFT, these are called "tail-enders". In Rebirthing, we called them the "response column".

These objections, or "tail-enders", are actually a positive thing. The fact that your mind comes up with these objections means that you are becoming more aware of what gets in the way of your achieving your goals.

Your fears, anxieties and doubts will actually block you from achieving your goals. The more you are aware of these things, the more able you are to address them.

When using EFT, it's always important to be as specific as possible.

To read about EFT, see Achieving Fabulous Success.

If you have problems with a specific bill or debt, take out the most recent letter you have received. Put it on the table in front of you. Look at it. Then tap on how you feel.

For example, you might tap on:

- This anxiety about this debt.
- I feel anxious.
- I feel worried I can't pay this.
- How am I ever going to pay this bill?

Try to remember when you felt like this in the past. For example, this might be a memory from your childhood. Tap on:

- I remember when I was seven, my parents couldn't pay the rent. I felt anxious.

This is just an example - you need to use your own memories.

Keep tapping until you have reduced your level of anxiety, worry or stress. The aim is to reduce the level of intensity to zero.

You might also feel embarrassed about your bills or debts. You can tap on

- this embarrassment about money
- this embarrassment about my bills
- this shame

and so forth. Tapping will help you to reduce your level of embarrassment and shame, so that you can act more effectively to address your problems.

Remember, it is important to focus on specific bills or debts.

Most of the time, we tend to blame ourselves for our money problems. If you are doing this, you will need to do one or more rounds of:

- This is my fault.
- I should have handled my money better.
- I am useless with money.
- I am so stupid.

Or similar thoughts.

These negative thoughts and feelngs will block you from attracting what you want. You need to tap on them in order to let go of them and transform them into more positve, helpful thoughts and feelings, and EFT can help you with this.

To read about how to use EFT to help you find a job, see Achieving Fabulous Success.

A lot of times we don't actually deal with our difficult emotions around money problems, money worries and debt.

We don't like to talk about our money problems and issues. We don't even like to think about them.

You may have put all the bills and letters from your creditors into a drawer because it's just too difficult and painful to deal with them. If so, you are not the only person to do this. This is called AVOIDANCE.

If you are avoiding dealing with clutter in your home, if you are putting off clearing out your garage or your attic, or if you are neglecting other tasks in your home that need to be done - you may be avoiding dealing with your habits and patterns of thoughts and emotions.

The reason why we avoid things is to do with our level of anxiety. Using EFT can help you to reduce your anxiety level.

We may pretend that we don't have these feelings. We may even pretend to ourselves, I'm okay, I'm all right, I'm in control. This is called DENIAL.

Here's the thing: AVOIDANCE and DENIAL do not sort out our money problems. Not only does it make the problem worse, it makes it FEEL worse.

You need to tap on things like:

- this anxiety
- this anxiety about my bills/debts
- this embarrassment.

- this shame
- I feel ashamed about this debt
- I feel ashamed of myself.

The more you reduce the intensity of these emotions, the easier it will be for you to deal with your money problems.

To read about how to use EFT, see Achieving Fabulous Success.

And remember, you are not the only person struggling with bills and debts. Many people all over the world are facing the same problems.

Sometimes, tapping on an issue can bring up very difficult, distressing material. When Gary Craig first introduced EFT, he placed a strong emphasis on being gentle with yourself. EFT was supposed to reduce your level of anxiety, stress or trauma, and it did so for many people.

These days, the emphasis may be more on getting results.

One problem is that we may think we have dealt with something from our past, but we have still not dealt with certain aspects of it. EFT can then lead to our becoming very distressed when we start tapping around that trauma.

I think the rule is, gently does it. If you start feeling distressed, you need to do some positive tapping on things like:

I am breathing in peace.
I feel relaxed and calm.
I am feeling calm and peaceful.
When I think about X, I feel calm and peaceful.
I feel peace in my heart.
I feel peace in every cell of my body.

And similar thoughts.

If, when you were a child, your parents, teachers or other adults gave you negative messages about yourself, either verbally or through their actions, those negative messages may still be affecting you now.

You may still have self-esteem issues, or difficulties in different areas of your life. Self-esteem issues can affect your money and finances, your relationships, your health, or any area of your life.

It doesn't matter what the other person said or did. What matters is that we internalise these messages. They become part of us.

I know this as I was subjected to systematic abuse as a young person. This went on for several years. The problem is one then becomes the abuser. The other person does not have to do or say anything to me now. It's as if I have taken on the role of abuser. Overcoming and transforming this has been a large part of my healing process.

Part of the problem is that children believe that they deserve the treatment they receive. If you are a survivor of abuse, you need to remind yourself that you did not deserve the abuse. It was not your fault. It's important to tap on this over and over again, to undermine and destroy these negative patterns.

Remember, you deserve the best. Some positive thoughts you can tap on include:

I deserve to have a wonderful life.
I deserve to have a happy life.
I deserve to have wonderful relationships.
I deserve to have a healthy body.
I deserve to have radiant health.
I deserve to have plenty of money.
I deserve to be financially successful.
I deserve to have a wonderful job.
I deserve to have a career I love.

Remember, keep tapping on these over and over again until you feel calm, relaxed and happy. Keep doing this for as long as it takes. Changing your emotions can help you to change your results.

When we feel embarrassed about our weight issues, our feelings of embarrassment and shame will hold us back until we deal with them.

You may feel embarrassed even about the word "weight".

You may feel uncomfortable whenever anyone mentions weight, weight loss or size.

Or maybe you feel uncomfortable or embarrassed getting on the scale.

If you feel embarrassed when you hear or read words like "weight", "fat" or similar terms, you need to tap on these to reduce your anxiety levels before you can even begin to address any weight issues.

You need to tap on things like:

"I feel embarrassed about my weight"
"I feel embarrassed about weighing myself"
"I feel embarrassed when I step on the scale"
"I avoid looking at myself in the mirror"

or just words like

- weight
- fat
- weight loss
- dieting

or similar.

If you have had bad experiences with dieting or weight loss (as many people have), you will need to tap on these incidents as well.

To read about how to use EFT to help you find a job, see Achieving Fabulous Success.