Dealing With Criticism

Criticism, sadly, in English has always had a negative overtone.

Examples:
1. "Stop being so critical."
2. "Don't listen to the critics."
3. "He's just being a critic."

For this lens, let's take criticism for what it really is supposed to mean, overtones aside. Let's define criticism as: taking something apart and evaluating for what it is worth. Is it good? Why? Is it bad? How come? To criticize something is to take it apart and determine its value. Remember Siskel and Ebert? Movie critics (who, turns out, I often disagreed with).

Sometimes Siskel or Ebert really liked the movies they were talking about, but that doesn't mean they weren't being critics. They did their job: Criticized and approved or disapproved based on content. It's a funny thing to note: Criticism is seen more positively if you use this word: Critique. Same root, my friends.

Criticism can be good or it can be bad and it's handy to know which one you're looking at. To help you figure this out, first I'll provide you with a brief outline of what's what in criticism world, then I'll expand on it.

The Bad Critics:


Somehow this always proves to be the most interesting and what people are most often looking for. I've divided the bad critics into three groups, but it's important to note that when dealing with them in real life, they blend together, and are not as easily defined. They might take bits and pieces from all three. This is a rough sketch, but I hope will help you later on.

The Good Critics:


After you've been stung, it might be hard to believe that there are helpful people out there. I promise there are - and I know that because I've met them (and may or may not be one of them? Your call!) Like the bad critics above, it should be noted that it is also impossible to define the good guys into just one category. Human beings are much too difficult to pigeonhole. Here again I've divided them into three groups:

The Angry Ulcer Owner:

The Angry Ulcer Owner isn't hard to spot. This person is very pedantic and will take a small and easily correctable flaw and turn it into an apocalyptic mistake that may well be the end of the world as we know it.

"A misused semicolon? By sugar, I will not let this stand! Not on my watch, bucko!"

Writer intent, revision and editing? These things do not matter. What matters is that The Angry Ulcer Owner has had a bad day and needs to vent somewhere. You're it.

What to do with The Angry Ulcer Owner? Your best bet is to recognize this for what it is and let it go. The person had to hack up that fur ball of a rant somewhere and he or she did. Now it's over. Know what it is ("consider the source" as my mother used to say) and move on.

The Self-Esteem Needer:

I'm half-convinced that the root of The Angry Ulcer Owner and The Self-Esteem Needer are about the same. Need to vent somewhere? Find an innocent and unknowing source to unleash the wrath of last night's argument with your family upon!

How does The Self-Esteem Needer vary? While the Angry Ulcer Owner might be very confident in his or her own work, The Self-Esteem Needer is not. The Self-Esteem Needer, like a psychic vampire, must take you apart to build up his or her own esteem so as to continue writing bad things.

This isn't too hard to figure out when you investigate the person's work. You'll feel a lack of confidence there whether the person shows it openly or tries to mask it with bravado.

How do you deal with this person? About the same as above. There is no point at all in getting into a battle of the wits. Argument will not improve your work and will only make you enemies who will follow you around criticizing you so they can feel more important.

Aside: Fun fact - We all investigate our critics much more than we do the people who compliment us. We love compliments and the people who give them, but are always curious about the lives, hobbies and personalities of our critics and may know more about them than we do our own friends. Sad, but true.

The Too Much Free Time Haver:

I really despise people who have time management under control. They'll sit around and have nothing to do because they're well-organized and productive and do not have to rush. Humbug! That isn't me. I don't have as much free time because I'm cluttered, productive only when I force myself to work (or else) and often find myself in a morning rush (addled by the fact that I'm a night owl and do not like alarm clocks).

The Too Much Free Time Haver is someone who writes awful Amazon reviews criticizing things because they have the time and they can. They love the thesaurus and ripping away at someone's grammar (they too are pedantic, but most bad critics share this trait).

They are often very arrogant and love to give recommendations to books you'll never have the time to read because you're in a hurry. They aren't in a hurry. They have the world's plenty of time to tear into your work - and they know you don't have the time to respond as adequately as you'd like.

So don't respond. That's been my solution the other two times, too. There's a reason: What do you gain by putting these people in their place? Nada, mi amigos, nada. More on this shortly.

Don't make the mistake of thinking good critics are going to put you on easy street - they'll rip up your work, too. They want you to do better, to be better, and to work better. Plus, if you don't improve, I hear some of them have whips. That might just be a legend, though. The aim of good critics that makes them different from the bad ones (besides the fact that these folks know what they're doing) is that they focus on your work and how to improve. They won't rip at you and tear your work down, as is the case with bad criticism. I've broken them down into three groups. Let's begin!

The Motivator:

Remember the Rocky Movies? Remember the coach from the Rocky movies? How about the general archetype of the coach? Tough, but pushing you ahead. This isn't the case for all in this group, but it gives you a good idea.

The Motivator doesn't want you to stop, and will push you forward. Be they sweet or tough, they have an interest in your work and the improvement thereof. They're your friends and you should listen to them; they'll only work in your favor if you put your best foot forward and push ahead.

You've created something, but you don't know what to do with it. You don't feel that it is in any way complete, and all the bad critics in your head are having a good old time. For shame! The Motivator will have a grand time putting a stop to that if you let him or her.

How to respond to The Motivator? Don't be lazy! Be proactive, creative, and always push forward. There's nothing too absurd, silly, or otherwise unusable that you can't run the idea by The Motivator for an opinion. Go ahead, because why not go ahead?

The Inspirer:

When you're down, when you're not feeling up to par, or otherwise blocked up, The Inspirer comes around to help build up your ideas. Maybe they'll question what you've been working on, or maybe through conversation you'll think of something new to start. The Inspirer's goal is to keep you moving with your ideas, to provide a new insight on an idea you're working on, or to give you a new idea all-together that you can start.

You've created something, but your heart isn't in it. Maybe your heart is in it, but you haven't a clue what to do with it. Your labor of love has turned into nothing but a labor. Have a talk with The Inspirer to get your heart back in your work.

Call me a transcendentalist, but it seems to me that when in time of need, The Inspirer has a way of showing up. How to respond to this kind soul? Listen closely to the wind rustling through the trees! These people are idea-wells, but you have to take heed of the ideas and run with them (note: see above). When something suddenly pops into your head: "Hey, I could..." around this person, talk about it. Develop the idea a bit and go with it. Because, why not go with it?

The Educator:

You've been inspired with an idea, you've been motivated and you want to do it - but you don't know how! Enter: The Educator. This one is for when you have questions. You've created something that you know isn't right. It isn't thorough, and you don't know how to add finishing touches. There are parts that are missing. You need a mechanic, or at least a mechanic's advice. Enter: The Educator.

This is the person who knows what he or she is talking about. Listen closely and learn. Adapt your work as necessary when you know you should according to this person's advice. Rarely will the suggestions hurt you.

How to respond to The Educator? Be proactive. Have some questions. Typically good critics are outgoing, have been where you are, and have a list of general questions they recall from their time in the trenches that they know will be going through your mind. If you really want to do better though, you need to learn how to ask questions. Learning how to question though can only happen through working and realizing you don't know what the devil you're doing (either completely, or just in certain parts). The Educator will provide you with as many answers as he or she can, but cannot do the work for you. So, take a suggestion from this person and go with it. If it doesn't work (and it may not always) then try again with something new. Why keep at it? Because, why not keep at it?

Whether you're getting flooded with good criticism or bad, there's a proper way to handle it, and an improper way to handle it. Let's have fun and start with the improper way first.

The Improper Way:

The problem that arises with any kind of criticism is when you allow it to make you stop writing. With bad criticism it's easy to internalize, take the criticism personally, and stop completely. With good criticism it's a bit more tricky. When you stop working and start getting caught up in taking something and making it perfect in your head before you ever act on it (or make suggested improvements on it): you're doing it wrong.

There are three goals to dealing with criticism in such a way as to best enhance your work:

1. Be objective, not subjective
2. Be proactive, not reactive
3. Use tact and be reasonable

Be Objective, Not Subjective:


Objectivity and subjectivity are the difference between what is true and can be proven (or as close as we can get to it) and someone's opinion.
Opinions can be lovely, unless they are used in attack. What is most helpful is someone who can provide you with facts, specific instances in your work that can be improved, and how to improve through tested methods.

Opinions are a gray area, sometimes they're useful, sometimes they're not. A confident person providing you with helpful information that he or she has tested in the past so that he or she knows what works and what doesn't is objective. A person telling you your work stinks because they don't like it is opinion, and is not useful. Alternately, someone who tells you your work is fantastic but cannot tell you how or why is equally subjective and useless.

Be Proactive, Not Reactive:


As mentioned earlier, the worst way to handle any kind of criticism - good or bad - is to stop working because of it.

If Ticked-Off Bobby turns into The Angry Ulcer Owner and decides to rip your work up, well, that's just peachy. If Ticked-Off Bobby makes you stop working, you're being reactive to his comments. Also, if Helpful Justin gives you some suggestions on how to improve your work and you then spend all your free time day dreaming on how to apply those suggestions, you're being reactive.

Be proactive to all criticism. Look over what Ticked-Off Bobby had to say, not for the stinging effect he intended, but to see if there really is anything useful there. If there is: Use it. Do the same with Helpful Justin's comments and see what you can use, then use it. All criticism is absolutely useless unless you use it to work in your favor.

Use Tact and Be Reasonable:


When you're faced with a bad critic, it is often best not to respond. Sometimes you're put in a position where you have no choice but to respond. I hope that I've provided you with some ways to handle the bad critics, or that you have your own, so that you can see them for what they are.

Know that it is rarely ever a good idea (no matter how bored you are) is to engage them in debate and argument. Debating and arguing with people who want to attack gains you nothing, except maybe an ulcer of your own. Try always to use tact with these people, never to cut them back, to recognize their attack as an unneeded and unhelpful move, and dismiss it quickly. Be direct in ending the conversation if you must.

Be reasonable. It's hard to handle criticism, even if it's good - because in our own heads, we're perfect, or at least want to appear that way. But alas, there is always room for improvement! Good critics will remind you of this and will tell you how to do it. Know that you can do better and take the good criticism as well as you can. Look to see how you can apply the improvements and then do it. If there's more you don't understand, look into it, then do it.

Whether good or bad, take the criticism well. Getting stuck day dreaming or running away because someone said a mean thing is equally useless. Don't let the bad critics get to you, and don't get a bloated ego because of the good critics. Whatever you do, keep going as best as you can.

The reason it's important to deal with criticism is because if you don't handle it, you are effectively letting another person sit at the control seat of your work. What the devil kind of rubbish is that?!

This is your work and you need to stay in charge. You stay in charge by recognizing criticism (both good and bad) and handling it as such to make it work best in your favor. Anything less would never be good enough for you.

Whether you agree or disagree with anything I've said here, know that this is totally true and absolutely objective (assuming you're a well-balanced and emotionally healthy adult): You should be the person controlling your thoughts, your actions, and your life.

"Now, Voyager, sail thou forth, to seek and find."
- Walt Whitman, The Untold Want

This lens includes colloquial language to help engage the reader. I believe colloquial language reaches a broader range of readers, is better at holding a reader's interest, and is often easier to understand.

This lens is also quite tongue-in-cheek at many times to put the reader at ease in order to make the reader more comfortable with an otherwise uncomfortable topic.

Also, this lens is by no means a thorough description of all the contents that form the composition of Criticism World - there are many excellent and much more well written books on the subject.

With that in mind, go ahead and tie into me!

My name is Heather. I'm trying to write stuff. Also, I'm a substitute teacher and owner of the greatest chocolate Labrador retriever ever - but she has attention deficit disorder and often forgets what she's chasing after.

Mother of 0 children. Living in the country in Pennsylvania (which has pros and cons). Making a general pest of myself to many.

But I'll try not to be a pest to you. On Squidoo (and any other website I write for) I try to be helpful. My main goal so far is to help with writing - good old fashioned writing skills, and writing online (they're two different worlds, my friends). If ever you want help, hit me up. There's a contact button on my profile.

And for your interest, here's a picture of my chocolate Labrador (I can't help but to brag):