3 Steps for You Dealing With Your Broken Heart Because of a Breakup

Most of us try to repair broken relationships by making an all out effort to stay in touch with and show extra interest in our partner. We try to reach out and draw them back with caring and sweetness. Unfortunately, that is usually one of the worst things you can do.

It seems logical but you're not dealing with logic here, you're dealing with emotions and passion.

It's the nature of people to pull away when you're is tugging and pulling to get them to do what YOU want them to do.

There's an old story, which I believe has a great deal of wisdom in it. It's the story of the bird in the hand. It goes like this:

If you have a bird and you hold it securely in you hand, it's not really your bird. Without you knowing it, it may be thinking of the joy of freedom it sees other birds have.

When you open up your hand it may fly away because it's not your bird. However, if it comes back, then it IS your bird.

In some ways, people are like that bird. They tend to enjoy the idea of being free. Yet, when they are totally free, they tend to begin to long for the comfort, security, and enjoyment of a loving relationship.

I hate to make this comparison but I believe it gives you a very graphic insight to the tugging and pulling. I'm sure at one time or another you've experienced seeing a dog on a leash with all four feet firmly planted on the ground and totally pulling backward against its leash.

The more the dog's owner pulls on its end of the leash, the harder the dog pulls against it. It's very interesting to see what usually happens when the owner simply lets go. The dog, almost invariably, will not run away, but simply, with its new found freedom, stay right near by.

I'm not saying your ex is like a dog, but the desired result is the same. You want them to WANT to be with you, not feel they HAVE to be with you. This is another example of providing freedom to make this decision on their own.

Don't feel like you have to solve the breakup in a few days, or a week, or even several months. This is a time to enjoy and slowly, over a period of time, begin to do your own thing. Stop calling, texting, and pursuing them. Let them wonder what you're doing and what you're feeling.

Develop an air of mystery about yourself. People are naturally curious. You're not setting a trap for them. You're doing two very important things that will, in all likelihood, reverse the breakup and get them back. You're not pulling them back and you're giving them freedom to consider what's really in their heart.

Human nature is a funny thing. Often when we do the opposite of what seems most logical, we, much to our amazement, get the desired result. Stop pulling against their human nature and begin working in conjunction with it, while at the same time, appealing to their emotional needs. Love is 90% emotional and only 10% logic. Poking at the logs burning in the fireplace too much can put the fire out. Let the fire rekindle itself and see how well it works.

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