DEPRESSION

I had always felt different, experienced a deep sense of sadness, helplessness and hopelessness. I couldn't shake it, the feelings were oppressive and shadowed my life like a dark cloud over my head.

The depression controlled my life. I was constantly crying, I couldn't stop. The tears just kept on flowing like a waterfall. It had such a strong grip on me that I felt I was chained & shackled and couldn't get away. Immobilization at its worse. I was stuck and trapped. I even thought it was hormonal but I realized, I only get my period once a month, so it couldn't be that.

My mind was foggy and confused and I was unable to focus on my life objectives. I didn't even have a plan of action. Everything seemed to happen too quickly and I wasn't prepared for the changes that stood before me.

I was doing well for awhile but then I couldn't escape its hold on me. I was so angry that those feelings/symptoms that I was trying to avoid came back with a vengeance. I was in a state of denial, I didn't want people to know or to be burdened with my problems.

The depression got so bad, I was hospitalized in a mental institution for Major Depressive Disorder. I was there as an inpatient for a week and two weeks going to an outpatient treatment center.

They taught us valuable techniques on how to cope with daily stress and anxiety. Now I just take everything in stride and pace myself. I understand that issues in life is unavoidable and is out of my control. I had to wipe the guilt I was holding onto for years.

There is no denying who I am anymore. I am clinically depressed but I am at a manageable point in my life. I feel at peace with myself and try to stay healthy. I learned to love and forgive myself and move on towards being productive in my life.

To this day, I am religiously going to my therapist and to the psychiatrist(once a month for medication evaluation). I am able to cope with the skills that I have acquired.

I am truly grateful to Squidoo.com for introducing me to their site. It has given me a venue to express myself without fear. Mr. Godin, YOU ROCK!!!!! I LOVE YOU!!