Dealing With Depression & Anxiety

I have been dealing with depression for awhile now, and I have learned alot along the way.  I realize now that it is a real illness, no matter what differing opinions other people may have.  It is the kind of illness that only one who has "been there" and truly felt it, could really understand.

I know that many people feel that you should just "cheer up".  If only it were that easy!  I have started a blog on this topic, which I have titled "Through The Mist".  The reason I chose that title, was because I think that it is the best way to describe how I have felt.  When I was at my worst, I felt that I was living in a mist, or fog, and that I just couldn't seem to see through it.

When you are suffering from depression, you don't just feel sad.  I personally, and I am sure that everyone has their own feelings, felt that everything was just happening around me, and I couldn't seem to "get in".  It is so hard to explain, unless you have felt it.

When I was first diagnosed, I was 25.  I had lost so much weight, and I just didn't feel "right".  I was dizzy alot, I had bad stomach pains, and just felt so tired.  My doctor was the one who suggested I was depressed, and I was adamant that I wasn't!  It wasn't until he made me start taking antidpressants that I realized how bad I had really been feeling.

You see, once I started on the medication, the "mist" started to lift.  When you have been feeling that way for so long, you don't even realize how things are really supposed to feel.  After I started the medication, I started thinking back, and the only way I could really remember the months previous, was that there seemed to be a constant "hum".  I know it sounds weird, and I have often wondered exactly what was going on, but that is how I remember that time.

So, after time, I was able to go off the medication, and everything was fine until my first daughter was born, and I was diagnosed with post partum depression.  I was put on antidepressants again after my 2nd daughter, before things got too bad.

It has been a struggle, especially because it is such a misunderstood illness.  My doctor described it best to me one time when I went to see him recently.  I had to ask for my dose to be increased, because I didn't feel that it was working as well as it should have been.  I was upset, and I said I was afraid I would need medication for the rest of my life, and that I was so embarassed because I couldn't seem to cope with life on my own.  He told me something I will always remember:  he said that depression is an illness.  If I had a condition with my kidneys that required me to take medication for the rest of my life, I wouldn't even question it, I would just do it to remain healthy.  He said that depression is an illness involving chemicals in the brain, and that it is just as important to treat it in order to remain healthy. 

So, I will be forever grateful to him for saying that, because I realized then that what I have is beyond my control.  No matter how much people think that being depressed is just an "excuse" or inability to cope with life, I will always remember what he said, and I will be able to deal with my situation in my own way.

If you would like to read more on my blog, you can find it at www.depression.yourbody411.com.  Feel free to come take a look, and be sure to sign up for the newsletter. 

I also recommend a wonderful resource that has helped many people.  I have never had to use it myself, as my anxiety attacks have been controlled with medication.  But, I know that if I do go off the medication someday, I will be using this to conquer the awful panic attacks that I am sure will return.  Check it out for yourself, it is called the "Panic Away Method", and I believe that it is a great resource for anyone who suffers from panic or anxiety attacks.

I know that I will be dealing with depression for the remainder of my life.  Even if I am going through a time when I feel better, I know that it will always be there, "lurking".  But, I am learning to live day to day, and I am trying not to be so hard on myself.

I welcome anyone who has a similar story or something to say, to leave a comment here, or over at my blog.  And, I hope that if you are suffering yourself, you will bookmark "Through The Mist" so that you can always be able to have a place where your feelings are understood.