depression support, define depression, surviving

The clouds start to thicken and the thoughts become more and more dark, what do i say when i talk to myself?

I feel so alone yet there may be people sitting right beside me holding my hand, I feel there is no hope for the future and may as well just end it, why not ! life would be better if i was not aound, wouldn't it? is this what we say when we talk to ourselves?

these are some of the words that eat away at our person, taking our confidence and self worth to a new low, helping our depression grow stronger and the self grow weaker,

Within this dark cloud there seems to be no hope, no future, no love, no peace, only turmoil and pain, What do you say when you talk to yourself?

The more we concentrate on our pain and anguise the more we spirral out of control,

when we get to this point and have not yet sought help we need to seek out a person with whom we trust and listen very carefuly to what they have to say, we need to seek medical attention, try different medications, different relaxation tecniques to see what works for us,

There will be a solution we just need to look for it and seek it out with all our might, for if we dont we will not have the chance in the future to be all we ever dreamed to be, to stand tall and give your all, to smile like a crocadile, to feel the love from ourselves and those around us,

Talk to a close friend, relative, collegue, councilor, doctor, stranger, yourself.

when you find the one you feel comfortable, someone you can share your thoughts and or deepest secrets with then you can to face this darkness head on, face it with courage and dignity,

your friend can be your support at home,
Your doctor can prescibe your medication,
your phycoligist can talk to you, setting goals for you to achieve each day, each week, each hour if need be,

Look up for a moment and seek help,

You will then be able to look back and appreciate your courage to survive

Then you finaly come around and realise WOW that was close, you survived,

http://www.healthcentral.com/depression/c/478122/99627/individual

AN insight into a Suicide attempt- from the carer of a suicidal individual
We wait...
Waiting tense and concerned you know its coming but when, we do not truly know.
The fear sets in when we notice my phone, a series of text messages; we had been out of phone range for a few hours enjoying a 4 wheel drive trip with the kids.
The phone had came within tower range on top of the last hill, my family from 800km away had left text messages worrying you will not make it through the night. They were at least 2 hours old.

The tragedy about to unfold, gathering thoughts, the steps needed to take, will the police be there, ambulance, coroner, my god funeral arrangements, will my worst fear finally have happened?

The picture is vivid in my mind, the feelings are overwhelming, with still an agonising hour's drive before we near home and no phone reception to call the police to check on you or call my family for an update.
What will I find?
Will you be in your car with a pipe on the exhaust, will you have a hole in your head and it splattered everywhere, oh god a cant bear the thought, will you just look peaceful and asleep from an overdose, will it be a good thing that you are finally at peace?
The heart pounding the hands sweating and shaking, I'm sure I will have a heart attack myself in fear of discovering the outcome, Have I done enough, could I have done more, should I have been there earlier, have I failed him again.

The reefing and nausea set in, waiting; will I find my worst fear? I know I have done this many times yet I cannot get that worst fear out of my head while at the same time trying not to show my anxious state to the children.

Finally able to drop the children of at the neighbours and make my way to your gate, I look for your car, thank god there is no pipe on the exhaust, ok next, do I want to go in, and do I want to find you on my own?

My heart filled with fear of what I might find, my hands are shaky, my head and shoulders tight like a pressure about to erupt and my mind is going a thousand miles an hour with possibilities, Slowly I start gathering myself together to be strong, to be in control, to not react but to interact with the situation.

Then on hearing sobbing and thanking the gods you are still alive, I wander in as though nothing has happened and ask you how you are feeling today, keeping strong and sounding confident.

I begin questioning your motives, what were you going to do? How were you going to suicide this time, what pills have you taken, I start ravaging through the cupboards, finding the empty foil slips, counting and noting what has been ingested, double checking with you, what have you taken, what did you drink with it?

looking on feeling helpless unable to take this devastation away from him, why does he want to die, am I not enough to live for, have I done enough, the questions just flood my head until I too cannot think straight again.
He says he is so sorry for my pain and I know damn well he is as I immediately recall the suicide notes from times gone by etched in my mind, we cry together for the heart ache this dis-ease is causing us both, He repeats you would be better off without me, I am no good like this, my heart is empty and the ache is too much to keep surviving, why didn't I do a good job of it last time, your pain would be over already.

We try and find a distraction to take away the focus of your impending death wish, we talk about things that will help you survive, your grandkids, great grandkids, fishing, camping, holidays, the new home we have built with our bare hands piece by piece together for you to live, but nothing seems to work at this moment, your heart is shattered, your mind is tormented by the internal thought process.
We then begin the healing process, first the hospital to check you over and pump your stomach if needed, the councillors, psychologists, doctors, support personnel, appointments are made, treatment schedule started; step by step we begin the building process to get you on the road to recovery.

You are sorry you survived and wish you were not found in time, this will pass, for a while at least.

You promise me you will keep yourself safe tonight, and I trust you this time.

I am relieved to have found you in time, Hoping this is not what you deep down really want, I take a breather and fall apart, away on my own where you are unable to see me, I sob and get angry with this dis-ease robbing you of your peaceful life.
Finally pulling myself together I face the children and be happy knowing you are safe once again, today at least.

We may have been sitting in a depressed state for months or years,
The decision to take the steps to get better may even become overwhelming, it all seems to hard to recover?

You will recover With little steps, step by step,

start with
1.what you do when you first wake up:
catch yourself saying negative things to yourself or others, replace those thoughts and sayings with something positive, (even if you have to lie to yourself for a while), it will come eventualy the more you say it.

Place a picture on your roof over your bed of what you want in the future, when you first wake up and see this it will remind you of something you have to look forward to.

Place similar things around your house:
In Your toilet
near the sink
on a window
near the front door
were you sit

these can be anything: child smiling, tree, the perfect car, cat, cruise, fishing trip, camping holiday, family, friend, sunrise/sunset, motivational saying, you get the idea.

search the library or internet, for things you are interested in or have wanted to do but never had the time, motivation or self worth.

2. LOVE YOURSELF
capitals YES, LOVE YOURSELF

when you start loving yourself the world will change with your thoughts, things that once seemed overwhelming will start to become easier, and most important you will start to have more patience with yourself.

3. laugh at yourself. (Dont belittle).
when you catch yourself thinking doomy,
laugh at yourself,
laugh at yourself for
forgeting to replace your negative thought,
putting the sugar in the fridge,
the milk in the cupboard,
the dog in the toilet,

then becomes very easy to think on a different level because you are already laughing.

4. talk to a support person about your recovery and the small steps you are going to take to progress, ask them for some ideas or a bit of help with a list of daily structured activities you can follow to keep you looking forward.
on your list you could have:

simple reminders like a job to do to make you smile at a certain time in the day, when is the hardest part of your day?

to as complex as:
when i wake up: look at the ceiling ( the picture you placed there to remember to be thankful)
breakfast and my medication
walk the cat, Rabbit
have a big drink of water
lunch fresh food for my health
one small job a day, weeding, rubbish, washing, shopping, vacuming, calling a friend should be daily, doctor, nurse etc etc
tea and medication

maybe if you or someone close to you could book a holiday for you wether it be to a local motel/ caravan park/ hospital or to a luxury resort in bali, this would help take you out of your environment tempary to help focus on the changing attatude.

make a few changes before you leave so you can come home to a fresh place with positive things around you rather than old negative thought patterns re emerging. Have a cleaner come in and freshen up/ a painter/ swap curtains with a neighbour/ put your inspiring pictures around.

Depression is a Dis-Ease of the mental and physical, were every day occurences and thoughts become overwhelming, With it bringing an inabilty to adjust to the day to day roller coaster.

Depression can creep up on a person building in intensity over years or hit us like a brick as a result of a traumatic experience.

With a depressive nature life is seen through coloured classes generaly cloudy, with a huge weight on the shoulders and a tight head and neck, little challengers become life threatening obsticles,

ie: if you kick your toe you dont say shit that was stupid i better stop draging my feet or put a pair of protective shoes on.

instead the thought proccess is some thing like this,

I deserved that, I am an Idiot (self hate) or what idiot put that there*******, (anger outward),
or
what else is going to happen to me, everything bad happens to me, ***** n wish i was de*d, no one will miss me, I could just die and they will move on and forget about me, they would be better of without me etc. (self Deception),

when we understand this we can then start to work on the responses to each any every challenge.

In a lot of cases medication is needed but this also supresses the thought processes and then masks the symptoms and causes.

A thorough approach is needed for the individual to recover.

We all need support and none more so than the carers of a manic depressive.

Looking in the paper, at community notice boards, on the internet, at the local library, local lions club, community centre and health centre will help give you ideas on what support would benefit you most.

You may just need a shoulder to lean on from time to time, a ear to listen and give fresh prospective,

The local Health centre will usually have a doctor or nurse practiced in this profession; make an appointment to see them.

The number # 1 tip DO NOT TAKE ANYTHING PERSONALY

ei: If they want to die this is not directly related to you, how much they care about you, their spouse or kin, it just is what it is they want to die,
they have no concept at that time of who the people they are leaving behind feel, how much they are hurting the people around them until this episode starts to recover,

Put yourself in their shoe's just for a moment and imagine wanting to leave this world now and everyone is stopping you, you want your pain to stop, the craziness to stop, the thoughts in your head to stop, the overwhelming thoughts this must take to attempt a suicide of any kind are unimaginable to most of us.

#2 No matter how much you do, it will never feel enough.
Take some time out for yourself, have someone else take over a few days a week or a few hours a day, send them away on a little holiday somewhere, even if it's just a stint in the local hospital to give you and them a recovery period.

#3 At no time be in physical danger, if you fear for your safety then this is a bigger job than just you, you need to call someone that can help, be it a neighbour, family, police or ambulance, there is no second guessing here, this rule will ensure your safety now and in future episodes as it illustrates you will not tolerate being bullied or handled roughly.

#4 At no time will the manic be in Danger, you need to immediately call for help if you are at all concerned for their welfare, if they are not safe then move them or have someone move them to where they are safe. Police and ambulance will usually be the best as they are trained and will be able to discuss with you the best options available. In most cases this will be enough to disperse the behaviour and then we can all get a good nights/arvo nap/sleep.