How To Tell When Someone is Lying
How can you tell when politicians are lying?
Their mouths are open.
Admit it. We all want to be lied to. Why else do we keep voting for presidents who are known liars? Why else do we ask: "Do these pants make me look fat?" We want the pretty lies, but we want those lies told in such a way that we believe they are the truth. And perhaps in the believing, they become the truth.
But what if you want to know if a person is lying? Pay attention to body language. The body doesn't lie.
Lies are easiest to detect in small children. As we get older, our gestures become more subtle, but for one who is looking, those subtle gestures can tell as much as the child's guilty face and unpracticed falsehoods.
When a child lies, he covers his mouth with his hands in the classic speak-no-evil gesture. The teenager brings a hand to his mouth and lets his fingers rub lightly around it. An adult brings a hand to his mouth but pulls it away, or he lightly touches a finger to his mouth or nose. And his nose grows longer. (I'm being facetious. Although the nose does continue to grow throughout a person's life, it probably doesn't have anything to do with the lies he tells. There's no way of proving this one way or the other, of course. Since everyone tells lies, if only of the white variety, there is no control group.)
Rubbing an eye is another indication of lying. This see-no-evil gesture is the brain's way of blocking out the deceit. Men rub vigorously, and women touch gently beneath the eye, but it comes down to the same thing. Sometimes a liar will tug at an ear, scratch his neck, pull at his collar, put fingers in his mouth, blink more than normal. Men and women both swallow more when they are lying, but this is usually noticed only in men because of the bobbing Adam's apple.
Both men and women tend to look away when they are lying. Looking a person in the eye while lying does fool many of us, since we see that as a sign of openness and interest.
Closed palms is also an indication of deceipt. If a person shows his palms, he is showing you that he has nothing to hide. But a practiced liar will show his palms and look you right in the eyes.
Taken individually, each of these gestures can mean something else, something innocent. For example, rubbing the eyes and putting the hands up to the mouth are classic signs of sleepiness, and the thing the person is deceiving you about is the state of their restfulness. The eye rub can also be a sign that dust got in the speaker's eye, so this sign along with all signs of lying must be seen in conjunction with other gestures.
Their mouths are open.
Admit it. We all want to be lied to. Why else do we keep voting for presidents who are known liars? Why else do we ask: "Do these pants make me look fat?" We want the pretty lies, but we want those lies told in such a way that we believe they are the truth. And perhaps in the believing, they become the truth.
But what if you want to know if a person is lying? Pay attention to body language. The body doesn't lie.
Lies are easiest to detect in small children. As we get older, our gestures become more subtle, but for one who is looking, those subtle gestures can tell as much as the child's guilty face and unpracticed falsehoods.
When a child lies, he covers his mouth with his hands in the classic speak-no-evil gesture. The teenager brings a hand to his mouth and lets his fingers rub lightly around it. An adult brings a hand to his mouth but pulls it away, or he lightly touches a finger to his mouth or nose. And his nose grows longer. (I'm being facetious. Although the nose does continue to grow throughout a person's life, it probably doesn't have anything to do with the lies he tells. There's no way of proving this one way or the other, of course. Since everyone tells lies, if only of the white variety, there is no control group.)
Rubbing an eye is another indication of lying. This see-no-evil gesture is the brain's way of blocking out the deceit. Men rub vigorously, and women touch gently beneath the eye, but it comes down to the same thing. Sometimes a liar will tug at an ear, scratch his neck, pull at his collar, put fingers in his mouth, blink more than normal. Men and women both swallow more when they are lying, but this is usually noticed only in men because of the bobbing Adam's apple.
Both men and women tend to look away when they are lying. Looking a person in the eye while lying does fool many of us, since we see that as a sign of openness and interest.
Closed palms is also an indication of deceipt. If a person shows his palms, he is showing you that he has nothing to hide. But a practiced liar will show his palms and look you right in the eyes.
Taken individually, each of these gestures can mean something else, something innocent. For example, rubbing the eyes and putting the hands up to the mouth are classic signs of sleepiness, and the thing the person is deceiving you about is the state of their restfulness. The eye rub can also be a sign that dust got in the speaker's eye, so this sign along with all signs of lying must be seen in conjunction with other gestures.
How To Tell What Someone is Really Thinking
The Eyes Tell the Truth
Besides telegraphing lies, body language can tell you what a person is thinking. Women can read body language better than men can, perhaps because they are used to detecting what infants need. This subconscious ability gives rise to women's intuition, but with practice, anyone can learn to tell what people are really thinking.
No matter what a person's mouth says, their eyes tell the truth. If the pupils widen, the person saw or heard something pleasant. If the pupils contract, the person saw or heard something he doesn't like. And if the eyes narrow, the person heard something he doesn't believe.
Lifting one eyebrow indicates that the person heard something they don't believe or that they perceive to be impossible. Lifting both eyebrows indicates surprise.
Although rubbing a nose or tugging an ear can mean the person is lying, if they do it when they are listening, it means they are puzzled by what they are hearing or that they don't know what's expected of them.
Fingers drumming or fingers tapping indicates either impatience or nervousness.
Hunched shoulders indicate indifference.
Arms folded across the chest means the person is trying to isolate themselves or that they are afraid and trying to protect themselves.
If a person mimics your gestures and posture, they are consciously or subconsciously trying to feel at ease, create rapport with you, or show respect. Conversely, if you mirror a person's gestures and posture, they will see themselves reflected in you, and find you easy to be with. If you do this consciously, however, be subtle. Obvious mimicking comes across as manipulation.
To continue your body language lessons, study people. They are saying more with their bodies than with their words.
No matter what a person's mouth says, their eyes tell the truth. If the pupils widen, the person saw or heard something pleasant. If the pupils contract, the person saw or heard something he doesn't like. And if the eyes narrow, the person heard something he doesn't believe.
Lifting one eyebrow indicates that the person heard something they don't believe or that they perceive to be impossible. Lifting both eyebrows indicates surprise.
Although rubbing a nose or tugging an ear can mean the person is lying, if they do it when they are listening, it means they are puzzled by what they are hearing or that they don't know what's expected of them.
Fingers drumming or fingers tapping indicates either impatience or nervousness.
Hunched shoulders indicate indifference.
Arms folded across the chest means the person is trying to isolate themselves or that they are afraid and trying to protect themselves.
If a person mimics your gestures and posture, they are consciously or subconsciously trying to feel at ease, create rapport with you, or show respect. Conversely, if you mirror a person's gestures and posture, they will see themselves reflected in you, and find you easy to be with. If you do this consciously, however, be subtle. Obvious mimicking comes across as manipulation.
To continue your body language lessons, study people. They are saying more with their bodies than with their words.
The Definitive Book of Body Language
Amazon Price: $16.50 (as of 12/11/2009) 
The Meaning of Gestures
Most gestures have meanings. For example, animated hands show that the character is interested in the other person, or they say that the character is running a con, wanting you to think he's interested. Psychopaths use expansive gestures, which disarm those they come in contact with, but as we know, psychopaths have no interest in anyone but themselves. Shoulder and head turned sideways means disinterest, but can also be a symptom of a crick in the neck.
Other common gestures and positions:
Clammy hands show nervousness.
Open hands show friendliness.
Hidden hands show guilt.
Biting the fingernails shows nervousness.
Gripping the arms of a chair can show nervousness or anger.
Fists show defensiveness or aggression depending on how they are used.
Hands to cheek show pensiveness.
Ankles locked mean withholding information.
Fingers in front of the face mean the character has something to hide.
Fingers drumming show nervousness or boredom.
Hands spread show openness.
Legs stretched out mean shame.
Sudden gestures connote threat.
Leaning forward shows interest.
One final note: Tapping feet show nervousness or lying, which could be why people in a position of power need big desks. They don't want anyone to see those constantly moving feet.
Other common gestures and positions:
Clammy hands show nervousness.
Open hands show friendliness.
Hidden hands show guilt.
Biting the fingernails shows nervousness.
Gripping the arms of a chair can show nervousness or anger.
Fists show defensiveness or aggression depending on how they are used.
Hands to cheek show pensiveness.
Ankles locked mean withholding information.
Fingers in front of the face mean the character has something to hide.
Fingers drumming show nervousness or boredom.
Hands spread show openness.
Legs stretched out mean shame.
Sudden gestures connote threat.
Leaning forward shows interest.
One final note: Tapping feet show nervousness or lying, which could be why people in a position of power need big desks. They don't want anyone to see those constantly moving feet.
Related Books
Body Language
Amazon Price: $6.99 (as of 12/11/2009)
The Secret Language of Business: How to Read Anyone in 3 Seconds or Less
Amazon Price: $16.47 (as of 12/11/2009)
How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships
Amazon Price: $11.53 (as of 12/11/2009)
Bertram's Books
A Spark Of Heavenly Fire
In quarantined Colorado, where hundreds of thousands of people are dying from an unstoppable disease called the red death, insomniac Kate Cummings struggles to find the courage to live and to love. Her new love, investigative reporter Greg Pullman, is determined to discover who unleashed the deadly organism and why they did it, until the cost - Kate's life - becomes more than he can pay.
Amazon Price: $18.00 (as of 12/11/2009)
More Deaths Than One
Bob Stark returns to Denver after 18 years in Southeast Asia to discover that the mother he buried before he left is dead again. He attends her new funeral and sees . . . himself. Is his other self a hoaxer, or is something more sinister going on? And why are two men who appear to be government agents hunting for him? With the help of Kerry Casillas, a baffling young woman Bob meets in a coffee shop, he uncovers the unimaginable truth.
Amazon Price: $16.00 (as of 12/11/2009)
Bertram's Blog
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- italianheart92 italianheart92 Jun 22, 2009 @ 2:52 pm
- Omg this is so interesting! I love this kind of stuff. Great lens nice job! :)
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- Hypnosis-Expert Hypnosis-Expert Feb 16, 2009 @ 9:29 am
- Great Lens. I rated it 5 stars... Check out my related lens on Compulsive Lying.
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- someone someone Dec 27, 2008 @ 10:34 pm
- i wrote all of them down to read over and over again and again so i will know them one by one frontwards and backwards.
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- PBertram PBertram May 20, 2008 @ 10:27 am
- Thanks for stopping by, Xelene. I'll let you know when I find more tips about spotting a liar.
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- Xelene Xelene May 19, 2008 @ 10:17 pm
- Great information! I tend to take people at their word, which isn't always a good thing, so I'm glad to know how to spot a liar.
by PBertram
Pat Bertram is the author of Daughter Am I, More Deaths Than One, and A Spark of Heavenly Fire. Bertram's books are available from Second Wind Publish... (more)
