How To Use Dialogue to Save A Marriage

This sounds like a controversial statement, but it's absolutely true. When you stop arguing with your spouse you have stopped caring which is the first step towards towards a dead marriage.

If you don't voice your opinions on a problem that is occurring, then you are opening the path to resentment and bitter feelings. Arguing is healthy for a relationship as long as it doesn't turn nasty. Once you sense that an argument is starting to get nasty it's time to lighten things up a little bit and turn things around a little. Have a funny phrase that you or your spouse can use once you start to sense that a fight is turning ugly.

My marriage is not a model one under a lot of terms and many people say that my husband and I bicker too much, but our bickering is more like that of a brother and sister than that of spouses, most of the time it is all in good fun.

Most men are not able to multitask like women do, so they need to time process a change from one task to another. If you try to strike up a conversation with your husband right away when he gets home he will be overwhelmed and seem like he doesn't care. Let him get into a routine that will allow him to switch into his life at home and he will be a totally different person when you try to talk to him later.

Some men will take the time to go through the mail at this point, where others may read their favorite magazine. Once he's ready to talk, he'll let you know.

Along the same lines, do not interrupt your husband while he's working on something else. He may acknowledge the fact that he hears you talking, but he's not really listening because he's concentrating on something else. Allow your husband to finish what he's working on at the time and then talk to him when he's done. Once again, he will be all ears and ready to listen.

If something is bothering you, don't beat around the bush or build suspense during your story. As you start to tell your story and give every little detail leading up to the climax of the story you husband is trying to solve the problem. Meanwhile, you are still talking and you think he is ignoring you or tuning you out. Obviously, this is not a good combination and I'm sure you've had something similar happen. This probably led to an argument of the not so good kind that I spoke about earlier.

Practice telling your husband what happens at the end of the story first. A good example is the following story.

My husband says the same thing every time I come home from the mall, "How much?". He wants to know how much I spent first. If I start to show him all of the cool stuff I bought off of the clearance racks then he's going to think I spent a fortune. I try to tell him the dollar amount first then he can be relieved that I didn't spend a fortune and I get to talk his ear off about all of the money I saved by shopping the clearance racks.