Difference Between Perception and Reality

I wrote an article on my hub called "Choosing the Perception that Makes you Feel Good." We often forget the power we have to choose what we will think and how we will feel. We think instead that our thoughts are unshake-able. We tend to feel that our thoughts rule us, and not the other way around. As you read my newest article, I encourage you to take back your own power as the creator of your reality.
http://hubpages.com/hub/Difference-Between-Perception-And-Reality

I have always considered myself a "Mary Tyler Moore" party type person. In other words, I have a thought that whatever party or event I have will be a flop of no-shows. But I also have this nagging feeling that this is only my perception, and not the truth. Because our perception of how it is is almost never the same as 'how it is.' And I have been challenging myself a lot recently on the thoughts and perceptions in my head.

For instance, recently I had been thinking I was doing lousy at my job. I contemplated that I might be heading toward being fired. So I asked my boss. Whereupon she said I was doing a fantastic job. She had no problem at all. The only problem was my compulsive need to do everything perfectly- and to judge myself a failure if I did not achieve everything all at once.

So I am having a huge fundraising event to fly in the face of my perception- and also raise money for the non-profit I am creating. I am targeting having 200 friends and their friends at the event. And I am planning for big events and a blow-out success. I am planning it for early December and I will let you know how it goes.

Meanwhile, I want you to jump on the bandwagon and start challenging your own perceptions and beliefs. Go ahead and do it. It is fun and enlightening too.

I grew up in the days when men and women did not dance 'together'. They simply went on the dance floor and stood in the same vicinity, and did their own thing. It was the 1980s and there was rock and there was disco. But nobody truly did the Saturday Night Fever kind of couples dancing, for the most part. But I have always wanted to learn how to couples dance. So I recently began the process.

I went to a Latin dance party. You may know the kind. They start the party with a lesson, then they go on to the dancing. And I was new, of course, without a clue what I was doing. And the problem was compounded by the fact that, in typical form, I arrived late and missed the lesson. Still, I was having a ball. Doing my thing. And at one point some generous soul was dancing with me. He was being very polite, trying to help me. He kept saying "Just follow the beat. 1,2,3 & 1,2,3 & Just follow the beat." Then he stopped (it seemed abrupt) and said thank you, and left the floor.

I was feeling a bit forlorn, as I walked off the dance floor. Had I really been that bad? Was I so off the beat that he couldn't even dance with me? Did he finally gave up? I had always thought I was a pretty good dancer- for the way that I knew how to dance. But perhaps this couples stuff was way out of my league. Perhaps I should just sit down, and not embarrass myself. Perhaps I should do that much kindness to the men who felt sorry enough for me to dance with me. With these thoughts, my mood went from elation to the exact opposite, and I sat down.

One of the good things about being rigorously trained in growth and development is that you gain the skill of seeing through your own insanity. So after a few minutes I thought, this is stupid. I'm not even having a good time anymore. So what can I do to change this negative energy? I knew in an instant what I had to do. So I went up to the man and I asked him, in my nicest way, if he had in fact stopped dancing with me because I was off the beat and stepping on his feet. (The other good thing about my training is that I have learned how to say things that other people can't say, without embarrassing them.)

"No" he said, laughing. "The song ended." At which point I started laughing too, and all was well.

Part of being human is that we all have a brain. And our brains work constantly, figuring things out and making assumptions. Since it is our own brain, and our own thoughts, we as human beings inevitably believe that our brain's assumptions are true. This is our Achilles ' heel as humans, because usually our assumptions are not true. Then we live our lives out of them. So that in truth, even though our brain wants to help us out, it is often our worst enemy.

We need to keep a constant watchful eye on our brains, and the thoughts that we have. Personally I believe that we need to check with an uninvolved friend who is outside of ourselves when our thoughts go awry- especially when the thoughts involve important relationships in our lives. And this is true no matter how much training or enlightenment one has. And if we check our thoughts when we begin to go astray, we will soon be dancing and smiling again, realizing how silly we are.

What really is the difference between perception and reality? Or is there one? Let's take a look.

Pretend you are at a party and you see a handsome man. He is just the sort of man you like, so you want to go over. But at that precise moment he turns and looks at you with a clear "I'm not at all interested" look. What do you do?

If you are like most people you will slink away to the buffet- ego deflated. You may begin to wonder if it is the dress you wore, or the cologne he smelled from across the room. Perhaps you will consider throwing that stuff away. Perhaps you will think, I'm just not my most attractive today. Then you will avoid men for the evening, and when it is over, follow your lonely course home.

Now suppose you are on the other side and you are the male. Here's what may be happening for you. You have just taken a sip of your cocktail, and it is sour as a green lemon. You purse your lips to try to keep from spitting it out. You are noticing nothing but the bad taste in your mouth- and you are thinking how to get rid of it without drawing attention.

Now the fact of the matter is that in your world, you never even saw this lady who was about to make eyes at you. Your eyes were crossed from the sour lemon taste. Later you meander over to the buffet and see her. She's a real looker. A vision in white. And she appeals to you. But she has a sort of look on her face. Is it boredom or aloofness? You can't tell, but one thing's for sure. With that look, she's certain to reject you. So you don't even try.

Now if we look, both of these people in this story are 100% sure that they know 'reality.' They are sure that they know the very thoughts in each others heads. And that is the difference between perception and reality. And because of their beliefs, which they take as real, these two potential soul mates never even meet.

This kind of thing happens all the time, there is no doubt. We are all thinking that we know how it is and what is happening in others, or in the world at large. But how often are we wrong? How often do we go along, doing or not doing based on what we think- not even realizing that our thoughts are simply our own personal judgments, assessments, past experiences, and a boatload of firmly held beliefs.

Imagine all of the missed opportunities in your life that you didn't even know about.

This whole idea of the difference between perception and reality is what we will explore in this and future writings. We will look at how to get power in life by setting aside our limiting beliefs and assumptions. So stick around, and follow my articles. And watch a whole new world arise before your eyes.

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