When Mad Pig Speaks...YOU Listen!
That's right you lamers. I got stuff to say, and yer are gonna hear about it. First off, I am sick and tired of being the avatar poster-pig for that jackass Mobiiart. The only reason that clown is even here, is to try and support his jones for beer and cute little Asian chics. An English teacher? Yeah, and I'm Wynona Ryder, Yeesh!
Anyway...There's stuff that just ain't right out there. And it's my job to tell you about it. And, it's your job to tell me about it, so I can tell you why it's YOUR FAULT, and then tell you how to fix it. So whatever is pissing ya off today, I want to hear about it. Just leave a blurb, and get it off yer chest. It doesn't matter what it's about, just spit it out!
You want advice? I got some advice for ya. Get off the damn computer and get a date. NEXT!
See how easy life is? Anything else in yer life you need me to solve? Just ask, and I will be happy to kick yer flabby butt right onto the straight and narrow path for ya! Just think of me as your own personal barnyard Rush Limbaugh (without the oxycontin).
Oh, and buy my damn T-shirt! Beer doesn't grow on trees ya know. Now get the hell out of here, I need a nap!
The Mail Trough
Things yer mommy should have explained to you!
Aw'ight, this first letter comes from Lester Crabtree in Cowflop,Ok. Lester writes...."Dear Mad Pig,
You the man..er..Pig! You don't have a job, yer always drunk, and you still get the hunnies. How can I live the good life like you?"
Lester C.
Ok Lester, yer story has touched my F***** heart. I will tell you my secret. You too can go from being a hairy wart on humanity's hiney, to being the king of the trailer park like me!
First, get a damn job! You think I lay around here all day watchin Oprah??? Hell no! I have a sweet work-at-home gig. You like taking pictures? No, not the ones of the girl across the street, while she is get ready for a shower (but send a few copies if you have extra). I am talking about making some REAL cheese with yer trusty nikon. Just check THIS out!
Now, as far as getting the hunnies with the smooth pig mojo like I do? Ya can't, goober! Now go buy a playboy, go to your room and quit whining!
Who are you SICK of hearing about?
Ok, I am sick of hearing about Britney,G.W., and a bunch of other clowns. Every day, they are plastered all over the radio and the tube. Ooooohhhh,it's such a chore to be rich and beautiful. Jeez, gimme a break! Who are you sick of? If I left someone off, just let me know, and we will immortalize them on here.
Britney Spears
The one celebrity we all love to hate. She spends more...2 points
Jessica Simpson
This bimbo starves for attention. She goes everywh more...1 point
Not so real "Reality Shows"
Survivor, The great Race, The Bachelor....WHO CARE more...1 point
And another thing!
Wait, I wasn't F***** ready! Is this damn thing on? Hey sweetie, go get daddy a jack a coke, here's a nickel.Now where was I.... Pig Stuff you can't live without!
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- flaminglacer flaminglacer Apr 7, 2007 @ 12:58 pm
- Pleeeeeeeeeeeease can we have a plexo on the greatest c*** U*** of Dubya - I never thought I could be so incensed by one human(?) being! I need somewhere to rant about it!!!!!!
