Distinctions... Mindset To A Successful Life

Agreements is a huge area of missing distinctions.

What do I mean by "missing distinctions"?

I mean, it is an area where we have been so habitual, that we cannot see anything... even though it is there and it is using our life for something other than we would like to use our life for... in short, what we cannot see can really hurt us. Missing distinctions is a way to say that we are blind to something.

So, back to agreements: what about them?

The problem with agreements, is that we are bound by agreements we never made, we broke agreements we didn't know about, and other people broke agreements with us they never knew they made.

What the f...? You say. I say the same thing.

These agreements are assumed, cultural, and sometimes even personal.

Let's see an example: (if it doesn't fit, don't worry, I'll get to one that fits you like a glove... made of goat hair... lol)

You were born and your parents weren't married. Your mother was 15, and the church and your grandparents decided to give you up for adoption.

You are now 30, and you find out that you were adopted. You say: "My parents abandoned me..." and feel miserable. You are dealing with a broken agreement: aren't parents supposed to take care of their children? this is a cultural or societal agreement that society made for its own convenience. Nowhere in nature is said that parents are supposed to take care of their offspring. Sometimes they do, often they don't. Personal choice. The faster you get that no agreement was broken, the faster you can return living your life with power.

Another way to say "agreements" is to call them standards. You recognize standards by two things: 1. You think/say: "Everyone knows that..." 2. It leaves you with an indignation, a sense of superiority, and a sense of being cheated. Sour stomach, no power.

A few years ago I heard a man speak on stage: John Alanis... The King of Let'em com to you. He spoke about marketing, but was being, I mean BEING THE KING of attracting women. He wasn't any good looking, nothing special, if you ask me, but I experienced an intense attraction to him. I thought of this often, puzzled.

This past July I had another chance to listen to him, same thing happened, and 2 days ago finally I broke down and ordered one of his home-study courses, one that comes with downloadable audios, because I didn't want to wait for the cd's in the mail. I wanted to know.

Now, I am a woman, with only negative examples for relationships... and though I am middle aged, I am still interested in having a man in my life.

John doesn't teach women... but you see, I am the Distinction Queen... and it doesn't matter which side of the wall you look through the freshly punched wall, you'll see something new.

If you are a man, you look from one side. If you are a woman, you look back right at you.

I listened to the downloaded PDF (through the Read outloud command in Adobe) and I have gotten a glimpse of the distinction.

In a few words: modern society has an understanding and an agreement how men are supposed to behave with women: and that agreement is the source of the loss of attraction, the loss of relationship, the loss of fun, the loss of power in today's relationships.

I am not sure I am allowed to reiterate John's work here, so I just mention, that it has something to do with acting with authority... or the opposite of that.

Stay tuned... more to come :-)

I have an article on one of my blogs... Titled: Do You Think You See What You Think You See?. I don't want to repeat what I say there... so go and check it out, then come back for more on that... very important. Go now!

You are back? Good, so you know know all about clarity, right? No? You didn't go to my blog? I am disappointed in you!

You see, most of us are trying to understand all of life through what we already know. Very few of us are open to suggestions, let alone reading, or learning new things. We say we are curious, but our curiosity stops on the level of gossip... Am I right, or am I right?

Anyway, what I am most interested in is training trainers to be more effective, and training people who have something to contribute to be effective trainers... I have my job cut out for me. (I include people who market their own ideas and products on the internet... that is a version of training, though it isn't done in person, and in real time, it is training nevertheless, and they are my potential clients as well.)

What I wanted to talk about today is...

I have a friend, let's not call him by name... he is a real great guy, and he is learning to market his expertise on the internet. He just finished his first information product, and we were critiquing his sales letter today.

Listen up, it is worth learning from his case. Chances are that you are like him, at least some of the time.

The sales letter to this first information product looks good, but for sure "ain't selling anything". What was so wrong with the sales letter, you ask? I tell you, it was written in an apologetic manner, in the tone of a wuss (is that a four letter word?), and it was repelling, instead of attracting people to buy.

Now, I must tell you, the product is excellent, the guy is a real expert, competent in what he teaches, and there is a great need for his expertise.

What on earth made this guy to wuss out in his sales letter? (Hint: this is the real topic of this article!)

Societally we have a profound misunderstanding, that being modest is good, that tooting our own horn is bad, and we must be nice an protect people from ourselves... selling is bad, etc. etc. etc.

It is all a bunch of bull crap. NONE of it is true. I tell you, in the front of a bible written in the original Hebrew, there is a four-line verse of which, unfortunately, I only remember two lines.

The two lines say: If you are not for you, who is for you? In the front of the bible, guys! Not in some motivation literature! The bible! the holy book, dictated by the Creator himself.

If you don't stand for yourself, no one will. If you don't stand for your competence, no one will. If you don't stand for yourself, people will be repelled by you, won't marry you, won't go out with you more than once, won't buy from you. You will be broke.

Wake up! You need to develop a sense of authority for yourself to be able to deliver the many gifts you bear!

So just that you know, I am developing a course teaching just that, because it is so missing, that it is missing that it is missing. So please root me on, because you will need to read this course, or listen to it... I haven't picked the medium in which to produce it. But wait with baited breath, because it is going to be good.

That's it for today! Speak back to me.

I had a conversation with my friend this morning. It's January 1.

She didn't feel well yesterday. Or the day before. Or on a 6-hour day-trip she had to pull over for a total of three hours to take naps.

Here is our im conversation, started yesterday, continued this morning.

She says: I've notice that I am very winded and my heart is pumping much more than usual when I climb up the stairs.
She says: I'm just too damn fat!
I say: and sedentary
Sophie Maven sent file "young_she.jpg" to members of this chat

I say: I found this picture that looks like you a hundred pounds slimmer
She says: Thanks. I've got a couple also, I think.
I say: what's important is that you look at it as a goal. as a look to aim for
She says: Good idea.
I say: instead of wallowing.
She says: Good morning, Sophie. Happy New Year!
I say: same to you Diana. How are you feeling?
She says: Much better.
I say: what did you do?
She says: I did the breathing exercises and took a Benadryl and went to sleep at 8 o'clock. I was awakened twice by phone calls and got up for about 45 minutes, but slept until 6. I got up at 6 and was still very sleepy, so I went back to bed and just woke up again.
I say: excellent.
She says: I really like your new kabbalahchick posts. I also like the new look to it.
I say: I am in the middle of writing another article.
She says: I heard a quote yesterday that seemed profound to me. I can't remember who said it or the exact quote. What I took from it was that this life (my current one) must die in order to live the life I want.
I say: one version of that quote os by the inventor of chiropractic: it says: in order to beome who you want to be, you must be able to give up who you have become
She says: I took that to mean that everything must change, especially my current habits that are trapping me in my old way of being. I know you've been telling me to change my habits forever, but now I get it.
I say: am I talking about the same thing?
I say: or do you mean die physically?
She says: No, the old life die to live a new one, not actually die.
She says: I mean the old life die as in I have no choice but to put in new habits because the old ones aren't there anymore.
I say: I would prefer to say: you need to kill the old habits.
She says: That works, too, I think. I believe I was experiencing that I didn't have to kill the old habits because there was a void where they had been that I simply fill with new habits. Maybe impossible in reality, but very possible in my mind.
She says: Anything that seems familiar I would look and see if that is a habit I want to add before I just do it as usual.
I say: this sounds like a new year's resolution
She says: I didn't think of it that way at all.
I say: well, it is not a bad way to think about it.
She says: I didn't make any new year's resolutions for the past few years.
I say: _i_ don't have any baggage about new year's resolutions
I say: you may want to start with that: does the habit serve you to avoid making new year's resolutions?
She says: I just think it's silly to wait for a new year to make promises to yourself to change, especially when most people don't keep their promises.
I say: does it serve you to think like this on new year's day?
She says: I don't know. Part of me thinks a new year is a good time to begin anew. Part of me thinks a new year's resolution is a setup for failure.
She says: That's why I haven't made any in a few years.
I say: OK. stop thinking from the past.