Don't Teach That Child to Read!

We'd decided to home educate our son when he was six. He'd been in school for two years; nursery class and KS1 (kindergarten), so he was reading very well. The whole homeschooling thing was brilliant so we decided, without really giving it any thought at all, that our daughter would not attend school and we would continue to do what we've always done with her.

Alex had learned to read at four, and we realised later, that he had actually taught himself, carrying around a battered old Toys r Us catalogue for over a year. So of course, we expected Tegan to easily follow his lead. After all, she was obviously very bright. Ahem.

Well, it didn't work out like that. We'd always read to the kids; it was a favourite activity to snuggle up and read a story. But every time I tried to encourage Tegs to follow along with me and point to words, etcetera, she would shut down, "Yooou read it," she'd say and push the book towards me.

I tried with the Oxford Learning Tree books; she quickly learned the stories off by heart so could rattle through them just to please me but she wasn't reading and couldn't identify words in isolation. She also disliked the 'babyness' of the stories... she didn't want to read, what she considered to be 'dumbed down' stories about little kids and animals. She wanted to hear about grown-up girls.

We bought her electronic story books and, again, she'd learn the whole book by rote.

I knew this was okay and many children do this to start with. However, I still 'needed' proof that she was learning something, so we continued with our sit-down-at-the-table sessions. They weren't the greatest of times as Tegan's irritation and frustration boiled over and we'd both end up feeling like failures.

It wasn't working, we were both unhappy so I had to find a new approach.

Until I could work out a different method, I decided to simply stop trying to teach 5 year old Tegan to read. And, without realising it at the time, that was the breakthrough I was looking for.

We continued to read to her as usual. We have a house full of books and her Dad, her brother and I are always reading, so she had plenty of reading stimuli around her. I joined autonomous/unschooling websites. I read John Holt. I made up my mind that what worked for one child was simply not going to work for this one and my only job, right now, was to take away the problem. I needed to relax and Tegan needed the freedom to do it her way.

She was beginning to become interested in computer games and started asking me to read what was on the screen. Gradually, I noticed she was asking less and less. I also observed that she enjoyed writing. She seemed to be learning to write quicker than she was learning to read. I couldn't really make sense of it but I knew something was happening. She was asking me how to spell words to her all the time. When Alex asked how to spell a word, I would encourage him to work out the spelling himself. However, taking this approach with Tegan was akin to asking for nuclear war to break out.

Luckily I'd read a related discussion on Autonomous Education UK where the general consensus was, "if they ask you to spell a word, then just spell it - they don't want you to 'teach' them how to spell it." I couldn't really understand that approach; how would she ever learn to spell, if she didn't 'make an effort'? However, I just went along with it and duly spelled out the required words.

Apart from reading aloud to her, I still wasn't actively teaching her to read.

She turned six and still wasn't reading. I'd stopped worrying about it by this time. We used to spend a lot of time in our local Borders, especially on rainy afternoons - it was much nicer than the local library! One day, Tegan found a stack of Bratz books. They were paperbacks - some were graphic novels and others were text with few pictures. She chose two and we came home.

"Read this to me," she demanded. I picked up the book and quickly scanned it. It was horrible.
"Nope." says I, "Read it yourself."

And she did. And she read the next one. So I bought her more. And she read them. The little minx *had* been learning all the time.

A few days later she picked up a small book of mine and started to read to me. The book was "Whispers of the Beloved" poetry by Rumi.

We bought both kids DS Lites. She read more. By the time she turned 7, she was reading at the level of a 13 year old. Now, at almost 8, she can read anything.

Her big thing lately is writing. She transcribes pages and pages of script from Zack and Cody and Hannah Montana episodes. She writes out announcements and signs and puts them all over the house. She reads while sitting on the toilet. She reads in bed.

I don't worry any more about any subject - she's doing in her own unique way. Two days ago she climbed up on the table and took down a map of the world. She spent two days copying and labelling it. Had I coerced her into it, she would have protested and moaned and groaned. Doing it alone, she produced something she was utterly proud of.

She's my baby!

Rumi:
Whispers of the Beloved

Rumi:
Whispers of the Beloved