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From the lens Does bullying run in families?.

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  • RetroMom Mar 16, 2012 @ 10:46 pm | delete
    Thanks for sharing this. Bullying has become such a treat to our children that it starts even in such a young age. We should do everything we can to stop it and it should start in our homes.
  • V66 Mar 2, 2012 @ 6:49 am | delete
    It's fair and children who are 'bullied bullies' do sorely need help, but how many victims of bullying also get it at home? Everyone seems to think that bully victims are over-sensitive special snowflakes who get spoiled at home- maybe that kid's so sensitive because they have two hairsplitting parents constantly criticizing and using sarcasm over every little thing ever since they were born. Such kids are even less likely to talk about it than the bullied bullies- they think they deserve everyone treating them so badly. Simply, all kids in such situations need help and it should not be seen as an excuse for bullying- it's a symptom.
  • JJNW Feb 25, 2012 @ 3:03 pm | delete
    Excellent info, AJ! *** Blessed ***
  • jadehorseshoe Jan 2, 2012 @ 11:15 pm | delete
    An experiment for educators: google "domestic violence in police families." ... Identfy students from police families. ... You will be shocked to see how often these students exhibit "bullying behavior." ... This phenom has been known for more than 100-years. ... Obviously, NOT ALL such kids are bullies; but, they comprise far more than their "fair share" of the mix. ... Why?
  • Mujjen Dec 17, 2011 @ 11:08 am | delete
    I think an anti-bullying week with information and practical advice should be held every year in the schools. It is a terrible situation, and better prevent it from developing, if possible.
  • agent009 Nov 27, 2011 @ 6:05 pm | delete
    Bullies don't always have to be bullied at home or by others, but it would make sense that it's a cycle like many other things such as alcoholism or substance abuse.
  • collettehrock Nov 10, 2011 @ 4:20 am | delete
    I read your other page before I read this one, I new from my own son's experience the child that bullied him had come from the most dreadful home. I to was bullied for a short while at school, but it was only short thank god. I do believe that the bullying of girls is worse than the bullying of boys, boys tend to scrape and get it over with, girls use psychological bullying which I believe causes a lot more harm to their well being. I really don't no what the answer is but in a civilised society it just shouldn't be tolerated.
  • JillY88 Sep 6, 2011 @ 4:42 pm | delete
    I was never bullied at school, it didn't seem so bad back in my school days. I feel it has gotten a lot worse and children have a really tough time growing up these days. Thank you for this great lens, I will be telling others about it.
  • nuestraherencia Apr 23, 2011 @ 3:24 am | delete
    I have to say that the parent-child connection here does make some sense. I can see where those around my son who are bullies, have parents who are a bit demanding. At the same time, my dad was very demanding, strict, mean, etc...and I was never a bully. I was however bullied at school as well. With my son, I see his acting out now because of the treatment from other kids.
  • sousababy Mar 13, 2011 @ 11:40 am | delete
    Yes, I was the youngest of 5 children. My sister the oldest, then 3 brothers and then me (further along - an accident). My mother bullied so much, I was terrified of her (my father worked in the day and went to nightschool, barely had time with him - he wasn't a bully BUT he never stepped in and prevented my mother from bullying us, either). My sister has since become a bully and I really do not have much contact with my biological family. Luckily I had substitute mothers throughout my life . . .Great lens, AJ! Lensrolling this to my: Doing It Anyway / Bullies at Work, Squidoo people with a good heart, Contest Winners for Squidoo people with a good heart, International Children's Day, Helpful Tips for Raising Children and Women's Day is TODAY lenses. Oh and it shall be featured on my rebuilt bullying lens AND as a feature in your devoted section of my 'Squidoo people with a good heart' lens. Hope you and yours are all doing well in the UK. Stay Well, Rose
  • suzbun Feb 23, 2011 @ 8:17 am | delete
    Good info about early bulling. I have asked a similar question on my lens 'bad behaviour - workplace bullying'. I discuss the 'nature v nurture debate' when asking why people bully. I think it can be either - having suffered bullying as a child from my father and a school girl. I'd love to here your comments about my lens
  • hershel01 Jan 29, 2011 @ 10:55 am | delete
    This lens has made some very good points that I am sure will be helpful to many people about why bullying is going on.
  • J_R_Monnier Jan 8, 2011 @ 8:59 pm | delete
    Nice Lens! I have 2 good stories from a targets perspective on my lens: J_R_Memories. I'll link to to your lenses when i figure out the process.
    Thank you for your perspective.
  • familystorykeeper Nov 14, 2010 @ 7:27 pm | delete
    You have made several good points about bullying. We learn from those around us and especially from our parents. Controlling our emotions and showing respect to those around us are so important, but often good role models for these behaviors are hard to find. Thank you for addressing this important issue in your lens.
  • JewelRiver Mar 6, 2010 @ 4:55 pm | delete
    You're so right yet again! Violent behavior is usually learned.
  • pkmcr Dec 15, 2009 @ 2:20 pm | delete
    Your passion for this incredibly important subject is amazing. Have you considered writing about it's implications in the work place - do let me know if you do as Harassment is an area that I have some interest in - in terms of combatting it! Blessed this evening :-)
  • superbookdepot Oct 26, 2009 @ 6:25 am | delete
    Nice and very beautifully laid out lens. I would really appreciate it if you visit my Best Parenting & Families Books lens and put your views there. Hope you will take out some time to rate it too.
    http://www.squidoo.com/parenting-and-families-best-sellings-books
  • AndyPo Oct 13, 2009 @ 5:59 am | delete
    Very interesting article
  • cjsysreform May 11, 2009 @ 9:45 am | delete
    Wow. This lens seriously hit a nerve for me.

    When I was a kid I went to great lengths to hide my feelings of horror, self-hatred and helplessness. It seemed to me that if anyone saw those things in me, they would be repulsed by my weakness. They would see me as less than human.

    I was severely abused physically and sexually by two adult men. It was my big Terrible Secret and one of the ways I hid it was to be really awful to other girls at school. If I was mean, then at least I wasn't weak.

    There's no excuse for how I behaved, obviously. hmm, more later perhaps... excellent lens, I will be back.
  • MattTaylor Apr 15, 2009 @ 4:54 pm | delete
    I believe it! Children learn from the behaviors of the adults that raise them... Whether it is social dysfunction to violent actions...

    BTW, once I got away from public schools... I gained self confidence and never again put up with bullies again... I decided that I had a choice whether to allow the bullies to gain power at my expense or not... and I figured out how NOT to give bullies the power... and once you do... they generally leave you alone because you are no longer someone that can feed their inadequacies.

    Another nice lens that stuck home for me...

    Matt
  • spirituality Apr 6, 2009 @ 4:46 am | delete
    blessed by a squidangel :)
  • GrowWear Feb 18, 2009 @ 2:06 pm | delete
    Bully Dad's actions are reprehensible. He is probably mirroring the techniques of his dad. It is a vicious cycle. Parents now, including Bully Dad, are the ones to stop this cycle. I guarantee that if a bullying parent doesn't take control of himself or herself, the children they are raising will make them regret it one day -- one way or another.
  • Margo_Arrowsmith Dec 20, 2008 @ 12:08 pm | delete
    ***** to you! Here in America we have had a story about parents who wanted their 3 year old's whole name on the birthday cake and the first store wouldn't do it. The kid's name is Adolf Hitler Campbell. He has two younger sisters, one whose middle names are "Aryan Nation" and the other whose is a girl named after a misspelling of Himmler. They called her Hinnler.

    Anyway, they could just be stupid, but I wouldn't be surprised if these kids grew up to be bullies who think they are 'fighting for their rights' I don't know what to do about this, you can't investigate every stupid name, but along with your theme, I think that these parents are going to teach their kids some horrible things, so whether they become bullies or not, they are learning that Hilter, Aryan Nation and Hinnler (Himmler) are good things. So yes, bullying can be taught at home.
  • debnet Nov 28, 2008 @ 1:51 pm | delete
    Welcome to the Emotional Wellbeing Group :)
  • inkserotica Nov 17, 2008 @ 2:48 am | delete
    The girl who bullied me (not sure about all the others that did on the school bus every day) bullied because I believed she saw in me someone who was shy and quiet and wouldn't talk back but also someone who wouldn't willingly follow her like the rest of her friends would. I also got her into trouble once by informing a teacher about the bullying. She made my life hell (even more so) after that. Anyway, great lens as always :) 5*
  • Happiegrrrl Nov 10, 2008 @ 7:35 pm | delete
    Thanks for the great lens. As kids, my own parents taught me and my siblings that bullying was Bull(you know what!), and we grew up abhorring the behavior. Now, as an adult, I see that the bullying continues on many discussion forums, if the admins don't take care to address it. I wonder if there is a difference in reason as to why children bully and adults do it. You'd think people would grow out of the behavior but....it appears not. Or maybe they are "late blooming bullies!"
  • JaguarJulie Oct 22, 2008 @ 1:08 pm | delete
    From unpleasant personal experience and observations with my ex-husband who was a bully and abusive -- I believe he learned from his home environment in that his mother was perceived as bullying of his father who had an artificial leg. I wonder to this day if he is still a bully.
  • Angelina_Howard Oct 15, 2008 @ 9:16 pm | delete
    Wonderfully informative lens. It is such a sad topic-yet so important. Thank you for sharing your experience and time.
  • debnet Oct 8, 2008 @ 4:47 pm | delete
    Has this not made LOTD yet? Why not??
  • JosephWilliam Oct 5, 2008 @ 1:03 pm | delete
    Great insight into the prevalence of bullying. Working with children and families on a regular basis, I am well aware of the challenges. Thanks for your insight.
    http://www.childrenbehaviors.com/
  • beeobrien Oct 3, 2008 @ 12:06 pm | delete
    Every parent worries about their kids being bullied. How horrible if it comes from the parents.
  • BigGirlBlue Sep 23, 2008 @ 3:59 pm | delete
    I think every situation is different. Sometimes it starts in the home, sometimes it starts with the friends. Regardless of the root it needs to be nipped before it escalates. Lenses like this are a great form of communication and education. Bullying definitely needs to be put under the spotlight.
  • Sep 18, 2008 @ 9:52 pm | delete
    Lucky you!! You're this weeks featured Lens on Parenting on Squidoo. Go ahead, take a peek!
    Ashley
    Everything You Need to Know About Attachment Parenting.
  • tdove Sep 18, 2008 @ 5:29 pm | delete
    Thanks for joining G Rated Lense Factory!
  • debnet Sep 9, 2008 @ 1:24 pm | delete
    You've raised some very good points here Aj. Well done! I think it's a massive area that unfortunately won't ever go away. All we can do is raise awareness and keep banging the drum in the hope we reach more parents and teachers. 5 shiny stars for you!
  • Joan4 Sep 8, 2008 @ 12:29 pm | delete
    another excellent lens. Important information! I am sure in-home bullying happens more than we like to think about.
  • girlyred Sep 8, 2008 @ 11:06 am | delete
    Great lens! I'm sure it will help many people out there. Keep up the good work.
  • girlyred Sep 8, 2008 @ 11:06 am | delete
    Great lens! I'm sure it will help many people out there. Keep up the good work.
  • 0ctavias0fferings Sep 8, 2008 @ 5:32 am | delete
    Great points you raise. bullying is part of our culture, it seems, but that needs to be changed!

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