Download Family Guy episodes - Family Guy download: Stewie, Lois, DVD episodes guide

Famous Stewie: Family Guy Quotes
If you are an ardent follower of the famous TV show Family Guy, Stewie quotes are a must read. Blasphemous, yet funny. Read on.

Family Guy - Stewie Quotes
Li: Stewie, come complete our rainbow.
Stewie: I've got a better idea. Let's go play "swallow the stuff under the sink."

Family Guy - Stewie Quotes
Stewie: Oh I feel so delightfully white trash. Mommy, I want a mullet.

Family Guy - Stewie Quotes
Janet: Hi. Cookie?
Stewie: Well, it's Stewie, but... you can call me "cookie" if you like. Yes, I also answer to "Artemis," "Agent Buckwald" and "Snake." Yes, I rather like "Snake." "Snake Griffin."

Family Guy - Stewie Quotes
Stewie: Yes, I rather like this God fellow.
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He's very theatrical, you know, a pestilence here, a plague there. Omnipotence. Gotta get me some of that.

Family Guy - Stewie Quotes
Stewie: [Picking up the phone.] Hello, operator. Hello... Oh god, that's right you have to punch in the numbers nowadays. Uhhh, I should know this. Oh yes,
[dialing number]
Stewie: 867-5309, yes that's it. Wait that's not it, damn you Tommy Two-Tone. Huh, only one thing to do 111-1111, Lois? Damn. 111-1112 Lois? DAMN. 111-1113...

Family Guy - Stewie Quotes
Stewie: You. Fetch me my copy of the Wall Street Journal. You two, fight to the death.

Family Guy - Stewie Quotes
Stewie: Hmm, time for dessert. Let's see - big chocolate cake for Stewie,
[holds up a leaf to Chris]
Stewie: and something very tasty for big, fat you.

Family Guy - Stewie Quotes
Stewie: Come any closer and I'll cut her.
[realizes he's holding a tongue depresser]
Stewie: I'll give her a series of splinters... that could become infected.

Family Guy - Stewie Quotes
Stewie: [hitting on some co-eds] I must say, the most recent campus sporting event was quite spectacular.
Co-ed: Aw. Are you in a fraternity, little boy?
Stewie: Not yet, but I'm thinking of joining I Felta Thigh.

Family Guy - Stewie Quotes
Stewie: Yay and God said to Abraham, "you will kill your son, Issak", and Abraham said, I can't hear you, you'll have to speak into the microphone." "Oh I'm sorry, Is this better? Check, check, check... Jerry, pull the

Lois is hot even though she has a sandwich for a nose. She comes from a rich family and married Peter for his free spirit and not his studly good looks as often rumored. Lois can whoop ass when needed and loves her family. Way cooler than Marge.

Guy on Airplane: Oh great, I always end up sitting next to a damn baby.
Stewie: What did you just say?
Lois: Stewie, stop fussing.
Stewie: Pipe down Lois. (Slaps guy on head.) Hey big man, turn around. Oh you can't hear me now. I was going to watch the movie, but forget it. For the next 5 hours, you're my bitch.
Quote Rating: 9.4 outta 10 (Over 1786 votes) - Vote Now!

Bonnie: Somebody save him, he can't swim!
Peter: Oh, he's not even kicking. Kick Joe, kick.
Lois: Peter, he's a paraplegic!
Peter: That doesn't mean he can't hear. Kick Joe, kick!
Quote Rating: 9.4 outta 10 (Over 684 votes) - Vote Now!

Lois: Peter,why are we stopped?
Peter: Yeah, I'll have three cheeseburgers...
Lois: Peter for God's sakes she's havin' a baby!
Peter: Oh that's right...and a kid's meal... and uh,I, I guess I'll have fries...if I have fries is anyone else gonna have any? Cuz,uh I don't wanna be the only one eatin' them... I'll feel like a fatty.
Quote Rating: 9.4 outta 10 (Over 555 votes) - Vote Now!

Lois: So doctor, is Peter healthy?
Doctor: My goodness, you'll be dead within a month.
Peter: What?
Doctor (revealing comic he was reading): Oh, Hagar the Horrible, if you keep up that lifestyle of pillaging and eating giant turkey legs, you'll be dead within a month. Now, onto you.
Peter: So, what do you think? Pretty healthy, eh?
Doctor: Well, Mr. Griffin, let's take a look at your physical results. Argh! There's a spider in here. Now, here we go. Mr Griffin, you're going to expire in a month.
Peter/Lois: Argh!
Doctor: This is your driver's licence, isn't it? Now, unfortunately, I'm afraid you're going to die...
Peter: Argh!
Doctor: ...when you watch these Dean Martin Celebrity Roasts.
Lois: Will you just tell us how Peter's health is?!
Doctor: Ah, Mr. Griffin, I'm not quite sure how to say this. Kim Bassinger? Bass singer? Bassinger? But now, onto the cancer.
Lois: Oh my goodness!
Doctor: You are a Cancer, right? You were born in July? Now onto these test results. My, they're much worse than I thought.
Peter/Lois: Oh!
Doctor: My son got a D minus on his history test. Now Mr Griffin, that liver's got to come out.
Lois: What?!
Doctor: It's been in the microwave for three minutes, it'll get dry

While FOX has said that the 100th episode is "Lois Kills Stewie", they do not count the three-part episode version of the DVD movie as part of the series, thus it is marked as 103 here.

# Total Title Original airdate Prod. code
1 99 "Movin' Out (Brian's Song)" Fall, 2007 (est.) 5ACX14
No description available.
2 100 "Believe It or Not, Joe's Walking on Air" Fall, 2007 (est.) 5ACX15
No description available.
3 101 "Blue Harvest" TBA, 2007 (est.) 5ACX16
5ACX22
No description available, but confirmed to be an hour-long tribute to the Star Wars film franchise.
4 102 "Stewie Kills Lois (1)" TBA 2007 (est.) 5ACX17
Stewie finally kills Lois, but realizes that he needs her to survive, and goes back in time to rescue her.
5 103 "Lois Kills Stewie (2)" TBA, 2007 (est.) 5ACX18
No description available.
6 104 "McStroke" TBA, 2007 (est.) 5ACX19
No description available.
7 105 "Padre De Familia" TBA, 2007 (est.) 5ACX20
Peter believes that he is not a US citizen, but actually a Mexican immigrant.
8 106 "Peter's Daughter" TBA, 2007 (est.) 5ACX21
Meg is admitted to the Hospital due to a severe accident resulting in Peter vowing to treat her better than he ever has.
9 107 "TBA" TBA, 2007 (est.) 6ACX01
No description available.

Quotes From Family Guy - Peter Griffin
Peter: Well, they live in a crummy neighborhood.
Brian: The Bradys?
Peter: Oh, hell yeah. They got robbers, thugs, drug dealers ah, you name it.
[Aunt Jemimah pops up in the window with a plate of pancakes]
Aunt Jemimah: You folks want some pancakes?
Peter: No thank you. See, that's the worse we got is, uh Jemimah's Witnesses.

Quotes From Family Guy - Peter Griffin
[Peter has to come up with a fake name on the spot, so he looks around the room to get inspiration]
Peter: Uh...
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60,000 Famous Quotes
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my name is...
[he sees a pea]
Peter: Pea...
[he sees a woman crying]
Peter: ... tear...
[he sees a gryphon fly by]
Peter: ... Griffin. Peter Griffin.

Quotes From Family Guy - Peter Griffin
Peter: What's wrong, Stewie, don't you wanna pee in the toilet bowl like a big boy? Boy I remember when I learned to use a potty all by myself. I was so proud.
[Flashbacks to one year ago]
Peter: [Zips up pants] Hey Lois, I did it.

Quotes From Family Guy - Peter Griffin
Chris: Dad, there's a guy outside who says I can't go to school.
Peter: Yeah? Him and what army?
Chris: The U.S. Army.
Peter: ...that's a good army.

Quotes From Family Guy - Peter Griffin
[Peter forms his own country]
Peter: I call it... Petoria. I was going to call it Peterland, but that gay bar by the airport took it.

Quotes From Family Guy - Peter Griffin
[at a rehab center]
Peter: YEAH. I'm also addicted to boobies.