Dr. Writer Mom - Random Musings, Mostly Humorous, of a Cluttered Mind

I am a forty-something year old woman who has switched her career focus from internal medicine to freelance humor writing. That's a pretty risky proposition for someone who basically has enough student loan debt to finance a small house. Obviously, I need to find a way to make my humor submissions stand out and be noticed if I hope to get paid. I think I've found my angle : The Desperate Humorist's Ultimate Cover Letter. It reads as follows:

Hello, and thank you for taking the time to read my submission, Insert generic submission here.

Now, I'm sure you're wondering why your publication needs the work of of a forty-something year old physician slash mother slash wife slash humorist. Well, it all boils down to one thing, really. Take that person out of her office, trap her in a house with 2 adolescents, two dogs, seven birds (five of which can talk), and only let her out for occasional airings, and you get some mighty fine works of humor, worthy of publication. WHY? Because in such an environment, I can either find the humor, laugh and then write about it, or I can let it out in other ways, ways involving unflattering orange jumpsuits and an unacceptable loss of personal freedom. Then, the only notoriety I will have will be on Court TV's Forensic Files, and that's just not the way I want to leave my mark.

Why do I need your publication, Insert Generic Publication Here, to publish my work? Two words - STUDENT LOANS. Sallie Mae® is worse than any ex-spouse when it comes to monetary demands. She wants my money. I need to make some. Please pay me.

If you don't find my work suitable for use at this time, please consider this cover letter a separate , because it's the funniest thing I've written all day - thus giving this fine publication another good reason to pay me. Please?

Sincerely,

Insert Generic Name Here

Humor meets financial desperation - here's hoping it works!

©2006 Kathleen M. Wooton, M.D.