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Dr. Writer Mom - Random Musings, Mostly Humorous, of a Cluttered Mind

1 - I can do better 2 - Jury's out 3 - Pretty darn good 4 - Splendiferous 5 - Awesometastic (by 1 person)   Your rating: 1 - I can do better 2 - Jury's out 3 - Pretty darn good 4 - Splendiferous 5 - Awesometastic

Ranked #5606 in DIY, #147765 overall

Rated G. (Control what you see)

 

I am a forty-something year old woman who has switched her career focus from internal medicine to freelance humor writing. That's a pretty risky proposition for someone who basically has enough student loan debt to finance a small house. Obviously, I need to find a way to make my humor submissions stand out and be noticed if I hope to get paid. I think I've found my angle : The Desperate Humorist's Ultimate Cover Letter. It reads as follows:

Hello, and thank you for taking the time to read my submission, Insert generic submission here.

Now, I'm sure you're wondering why your publication needs the work of of a forty-something year old physician slash mother slash wife slash humorist. Well, it all boils down to one thing, really. Take that person out of her office, trap her in a house with 2 adolescents, two dogs, seven birds (five of which can talk), and only let her out for occasional airings, and you get some mighty fine works of humor, worthy of publication. WHY? Because in such an environment, I can either find the humor, laugh and then write about it, or I can let it out in other ways, ways involving unflattering orange jumpsuits and an unacceptable loss of personal freedom. Then, the only notoriety I will have will be on Court TV's Forensic Files, and that's just not the way I want to leave my mark.

Why do I need your publication, Insert Generic Publication Here, to publish my work? Two words - STUDENT LOANS. Sallie Mae® is worse than any ex-spouse when it comes to monetary demands. She wants my money. I need to make some. Please pay me.

If you don't find my work suitable for use at this time, please consider this cover letter a separate , because it's the funniest thing I've written all day - thus giving this fine publication another good reason to pay me. Please?

Sincerely,

Insert Generic Name Here

Humor meets financial desperation - here's hoping it works!

©2006 Kathleen M. Wooton, M.D.

My Blog at a Glance 

Because somes a simple explanation is not enough!

Why click on a link when you can see my blog here? I don't care how you get there to read it, as long as you read it!

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My Writings, On the WWW 

I'm on the web - it's a far cry from my office!

Get to know me - my writings can be found at Savvy Women's Magazine, Kathy's Kaleidoscope, and on my blog, Dr. Britcom Mom. Have a look - I promise, you will laugh!
Kathy's Kaleidoscope - Humor Columnist Kathy Wooton Has Her Say
We are delighted to have Kathy Wooton MD as our guest humor columnist, read her stories here
My Blog at Blogspot.com
Dr. Britcom Mom's Blog - Life musings, mostly humorous, of a mother/wife/physician/ humorist.

Places Worth Visiting 

Everything from Apples® to zoology - have a look!

My interests are varied, as are these links. Have fun browsing!
Apple®
This page was created using Apple® technology. Get to know the Apple® in all of its incarnations, and find your next computer!
Erma Bombeck Writers' Workshop
The official website of the Erma Bombeck Writers' Workshop, from the University of Dayton.
"Gordon Kirkland At Large & Online"
Quite possibly THE funniest humorist in all of North America!
"THE O-fficial web site of Jill Conner Browne's Sweet Potato Queens"
Website of THE Boss Queen, Jill Conner Browne. Come and be indoctrinated into Queenliness!
"Tim Bete -- Award-winning parenting humor columnist and author of "In The Beginning There Were No Diapers"
He is an amazing, family-oriented humorist and director of the Erma Bombeck Writers' Workshop. Read his work - he's the genuine article!
"Susan Reinhardt~Not Tonight, Honey Wait 'til I'm a Size 6"
This is one hailarious humor columnist! And one of the nicest people you ever want to meet. Read her stuff, buy her book - you won't regret it!
Animal Planet
Animal Planet - educating our young ones on the importance of wildlife conservation, and respect for domesticated animals.
Danny Gallagher - Humorist, Journalist and Author of "Movies That Suck".
Part serious crime reporter, large part seriously funny humorist, and the man responsible for "Movies That Suck". His stand up act is knock down FUNNY!

Salon - Catch The Latest Here! 

NFL Week 6: Playoff picks
Baseball playoffs, that is. In other words: They're still playing football? And: What? Hockey?
ALCS: Why not the Rays?
The Red Sox have their hands full with Tampa Bay, whose 31-win improvement was no fluke.
The federal government should go on a spending spree
Nothing expresses McCain's ignorance of basic economics like his call to freeze expenditures. Only m...
Salon Radio: ACLU's Jonathan Hafetz on Guantanamo cases
Why is the Bush administration continuing to imprison 17 detainees in Guantánamo who it acknowledge...
Early MVP favorite: Luck
Some key plays in the Phillies' Game 1 win over the Dodgers showed what a huge role chance plays in...

Check Out Doc Searls 

Everything gets worthless
That's where this vector points.
Unless we Do Something, of course.
Meanwhile, there's this source o...
Betting on Obama
I don't know enough about prediction markets, but here's what one of them says about the likely outc...
Post-debate thoughtdown
Slept between the last post and this. Just took a shower and sat down at the computer. Here's my bra...
d'bait
Watching the "debate" between McCain and Obama. Hard not to. After eight years of a truly bad presid...
A daft French regulation
Banning Copyright Infringers from the Internet : a View from Europe is the subject of a luncheon tal...

Find a Book That Makes You Laugh! 

Because literacy should never be boring!

The Healing Power of Humor

Amazon Price: $11.16 (as of 10/10/2008)

The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide

Amazon Price: $14.99 (as of 10/10/2008)

Unusually Stupid Americans: A Compendium of All-American Stupidity

Amazon Price: $9.95 (as of 10/10/2008)

The Laughing Classroom: Everyone's Guide to Teaching with Humor and Play (Loomans, Diane)

Amazon Price: $10.85 (as of 10/10/2008)

The Big Book of Jewish Humor

Amazon Price: $16.47 (as of 10/10/2008)

What are you watching on the tube tonight? 

When you need a laugh and a book somehow isn't enough!

There was an error connecting to the Amazon web service. Please try again. Sorry, there are no results available from Amazon.

Books on the road! 

Just because you're driving, it doesn't mean you can't enjoy a good book!

The Last Lecture

Amazon Price: $13.17 (as of 10/10/2008)

Eat, Pray, Love: One Woman's Search for Everything Across Italy, India and Indonesia

Amazon Price: $9.00 (as of 10/10/2008)

When You Are Engulfed in Flames

Amazon Price: (as of 10/10/2008)

I Can Has Cheezburger?: A LOLcat Colleckshun

Amazon Price: $6.00 (as of 10/10/2008)

My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands

Amazon Price: $10.17 (as of 10/10/2008)

Doll collecting - ladies, recapture your youth! 

Find the dolls you loved as a child, and share with your daughters a piece of your childhood!

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eBay

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Marti

Hello Kathy! I will add you to my "Enter the :aughter" Lensroll. Welcome to Squidoo!

Posted September 10, 2006

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Dr_Writer_Mom

About Dr_Writer_Mom

Doctor/Writer/Mother/Wife - Meet Dr. Writer Mom, Kathleen M. Wooton, M.D.!

I am a forty-something year old woman who has switched her career focus from internal medicine to freelance humor writing.

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