I want to make a page about...angels, politics, social issues, self help!

Dear God,

God have mercy on my soul!...those shoes that you promised me in a dream are a nightmare , and the blisters on my toes are like golfballs!
I'm sure you sent moses to part the bath water too cos my twin tub is now lying in the bloody diningroom and the insurance guy won't pay out!...even though I tried to explain that it was an act of God...he said "BOLLOCKS!"...and called me a chancer!...he asked me for proof , but just like you would say to me God, I told him to have faith and believe in the truth!...he made me see the light!...it was blue and flashing!, they were very kind to me and let me stay the night in a room with a plank for a bed until my ceiling was fixed!

God I want you to show me forgiveness for my downfalls in life and my faults. I know how tired you are at sending me what you would see as my perfect mate, but when I walked into Asda with Adam sporting a leaf..the lovely secuirity men came to our aid and took us to a little place called the shoplifters den! They asked Adam what he had under his leaf!...Adam told the guy that you told him to go forth and eat the fruit from the fruit and vegetable isle, but he was too full and had nothing to carry his prunes in!....Lord...I know you sent me a man , but I would have much preferred if his pet under that leaf was a snake instead of a maggot!...those blue disco lights came back for us and we danced all the way back to that wee cell with the plank! Adam was charged with theft and public indescency, but at leat this time I was in a cell with a naked man instead of a huge hairy lesbian!

I also ask you to forgive me for what I did to the policeman!...I didn't mean to jam his head in the door!...the red leather thong was all too much!...Oh and I want to say a prayer for that man that you sent me in the baggy white suit?....DAMN!....I know you say accept every living thing for what it is Lord, but I draw the line at you sending me women dressed as men as a last resort!...and please don't makeout that they were androgenous!...cos I aint swallowing that one either!...I have never ran to the toilet as fast in all my life!...the window was soo small!...I tried my damndest to squeeze through though but I caught a nipple on the window catch and my butt was blowing up with the pressure! Those lovely firemen with the huge smiles that you sent me were a great help and they were so friendly too! They sent for those comforting blue lights again and once again I was took to a place to kip for the night. Lord I know you say that to be poor is to be happy , but the next time you send me those flashing blue lights, could you tell them up front to buy a memory foam matresse for the plank with a matching duck feathered duvet and pillow?...oh and some andrex toilet tissue instead of that tracing paper!....my back is killing me and my butt is as red as a beetroot!....x

P.S Tell Moses I'm after him!....He stole my sponge and soap!...and those high heels that nearly had me hit with a truck!
P.P.S Oh and tell Jesus if he wants his blue coat back he'll have to phone me!...I gave it to a homeless guy at the bottom of the street....he's using it as a tent!..

Yours...Angel..x