The Eby Way Self-Help Book: Challenge, Release, Heal Your Painful Past

The Eby Way is based on my 39 years as a professional social worker, and the new system I developed called emotional recovery to help people have better lives. In addition, the self-help and self-improvement book speaks about my journey to spiritual transformation, which reveals dark secrets and our inherent power to choose the positive.

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Book Review. WheelMan Press (www.wheelmanpress.com):

After working in the social work field for 37 years, author Gary Eby developed a simple formula to help anyone overcome a negative past and to embrace a positive lifestyle. In his book, Eby proves the effectiveness of his technique by providing examples of his own experiences as well as the stories of some of the people he has counseled.

This book is a self improvement guide as well as an inspirational tool that will definitely benefit those who are burdened with a difficult past. Not only does this book provide guidance, but it encourages readers to seek spiritual healing as well.

"The Eby Way" is an encouraging and motivating guide that proves that with a little help any obstacles can be overcome.

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So I am sitting outside today on our porch in Grants Pass, Oregon. The sky is partly cloudy with enough holes in the white puffy stuff to allow the Sun to warm my face. Yeah, I am getting my so called "vitamin D shot".

I understand vitamin D is supposed to be good for you; it fights cancer and other scary diseases. On the other hand, I shouldn't stay too long in the Sun, because we are told to fear the beast of skin melanoma.

The good news is my wife and I will be heading to the Oregon coast soon for hopefully five glorious days in a rented beach home located in the town of Yachats. Also, I am appreciating the slight breeze which touches my face as I look out into the distance, past our huge 100 feet Ponderosa Pines, quaking Aspens, and the purple looming mountains on the horizon.

My eyes drift upward to take a scan of the grand, blue heavens, poking through those partially white and gray clouds. And my breath is almost taken away from the sight of the biggest hawk I have ever seen in my life.

You know what? Maybe it's not a hawk. The wing span is so large, I am reminded of those one-man glider kites. I think that awesome, floating bird could be a turkey vulture or maybe even a golden eagle. Wow. Whatever avian creature circles above me, the message that startles my consciousness today is the importance of rising above all that we fear.

Fear is one of those dark secrets that holds us writers, both young and old, captive from all we deserve to become. As a matter of fact, fear can be a force of self-destruction and negativity no matter what hopes and dreams we want to pursue. Let me present a more personal example of my struggle with this darkness.

Almost a year ago, on July of 2007, I was reading The Secret, by Rhonda Burns. She makes the wonderful point about the "Law of Attraction" that what we project out from our minds into the universe, we will surely receive: send out the positive and receive the positive; embrace negativity and remain imprisoned by the negative.

The thought came to me (as I pondered her formula of asking, believing, and receiving), that I had a manuscript collecting 20 years of dust on our closet shelf. What was holding me back from sending that baby out to the universe?

I experienced an unpleasant twinge in my stomach: I was afraid that what I wrote wasn't good enough; that inexplicably hurt. In a sudden splash of insight, honesty, and openness, I said to myself: "Gary why don't you use the skills and principles that help your clients overcome despair, mental illness, addictions, homelessness, poverty, and incarceration? Just finish what you started so long ago." Yet the inner dark side replied, " Because you are a social worker not a writer."

However, I took a deep breath for three seconds, and I slowly let the air out of my lower lungs for six or more. I went through my yoga, tai-chi, and meditation routine. I used the "ask, believe, and receive" process. And I added my own prayer of going into the Light within: "Thank you God for all that I have and for all that I receive."

I completed my book about hope and healing in August of 2007. In December of 2007, I pursued the self-publishing process on Lulu.com. I sold some copies but knew what I really longed for was a legitimate publisher. Again the hydra-head of fear uttered: "The likelihood of a publisher picking up your book is about as good as winning the jack-pot in one of your Oregon Native American Casinos."

For a while longer, I danced with the fear monger, and I did nothing about it, until three months ago. After completing my same relaxation and meditation routine, this time I visualized sending my book out to a publisher who would appreciate its value and potential.

I also prayed to my sense of Higher Power called the Love-Light. I actually felt warmth, comfort, and the unconditional love of being in the Light. The thought came to me that I needed to send out query letters to established agents and publishers.

I found a service on the internet that would blast out my query letters to 500 agents and publishers. Over the last three months, unfortunately I received 498 rejection notices, but two positive responses. One was from a publisher in New Mexico, and the other was from SterlingHouse Publisher. Com.

On June 18, 2008, I signed a contract with Sterlinghouse. But, I have no idea where this new journey will take me. I don't even know what the title will be or how many changes the editor will make. I surely don't have a clue how to do book signings or how to begin the enigma of the marketing process.

I do know the sky is azure today; the Sun is still warm on my face; the mountains always lift my spirit; and the eagle rises above the forces of fear and all dark secrets. Wherever your are, whatever you do, refuse to dance with the negative side that holds you back. Learn the skills to face your stressful feelings honestly and openly.

Find a way to enter the Light within. Then your writing will no longer require tedious work or even esoteric craftsmanship. You will find your inspirational voice, and you will rise above like eagles.

I am standing on our outside patio deck trying to get a good look at the sunset. It is blocked for the most part by some of our trees.

I walk down from our deck to the extended and horizontal mound of green grass, which overlooks our community tennis court in the backyard. Now the view is unobstructed by the glorious, sinking, heat fixture.

Presently it's a huge, yellow-orange orb, slowly descending into our western horizon; framed by a grand Ponderosa Pine tree on each side. Further in the distance, blue mountain tops sprout above a rolling green backdrop of forest trees.

The white-bluish sky appears to swallow the Sun in half, and it spits out a flame red cape of light. As the Sun further dips into near invisibility, there remains only a crescent glow like a dying ember of coal.

With a blink of a magicians dragon silk, the ember vanishes, replaced by a dim sky banner painted purple, pink, tangerine, pastel white, and faint blue.

I sit cross-legged on our grass mound, grateful for the time of twilight before the inevitable curtain of darkness brings on the night. I am reminded of my strange dream last night.

As I recall, I found myself driving in the darkness on a curvy mountain road. The vehicle picked up too much speed as it descended into a twisted one lane highway. I applied my brakes, but the foot peddle went limp to the floor. To my horror the brakes failed.

I removed my foot from the gas, but the car was accelerating and careering out of control. In terror I felt I would surely die soon. But I took a deep breath, and repeated my favorite mantra: "I am whole, healthy, prosperous, and free from all limitations." Then I opened my heart to the mystical prayer process called going into the Light.

To my amazement, I found myself driving safely into our garage. I knew I had been dreaming, and I felt a sense of wondrous peace and comforting energy.

So what was this all about?

I believe dreams can tell us important information about unresolved issues in our outer world, and they give us clues to a more subconscious and even spiritual realm within.

The curvy mountain road might symbolize various stressors in my life. Clearly the emotion of horror and terror probably point to debilitating fear of failure or even death. But I had the presence of mind to stop and slow down with my breathing while I affirmed my faith in the power of Light.

Returning my attention now to the cricket music and breathing in the sweet air of the early night, my mind clicks with fresh insight. Although beautiful sunsets bring on the inevitable but metaphorical darkness, faith assures us that the Sun always rises again even in our dreams.

If this principle of faith makes sense, why does adopting a positive attitude toward life seem so impossible? There are dark secrets that try to hold us back from all the good we so richly deserve.

We are born with the innate ability to overcome any human hardship whether it be social, emotional, mental, physical, or financial. The key has to be discovered on our own personal journey.

Year after year books are published promising happiness, joy, prosperity, love, and health. They just don't tell us how to do it. Oh, yes, they tell us to think positive or forget about the past. They offer us chants and "powers" and even "secrets".

Here's the real secret: as long as your heart or mind or body remembers that negative incident from how ever long ago, your ability to change will not be at hand.

Unlike these other books, I will show you how to stop the negative so you can truly gather the positive.

My name is Gary Eby. I'm 60 years old; I've been a social worker for 39 years. Most of you think you know what a social worker does. My approach has been different.

This is what you don't know about me as a social worker: I work with all the people unfairly labeled as the dregs of society, the losers. I've worked with them for decades. And you know what? Many of them have found a way to unlock their dark secrets for recovery and healing, thus becoming true champions.

You'll hear more about that later. But for now, just begin to think there is a way beyond the pain and into a new life, no matter how far down you've fallen